School Blues

I sent two of my kids off to school today. My oldest loves school, she's excited for school, she's responsible and I'm not worried about her at all. My #2 is starting Kindergarden and I AM FREAKING OUT.

You have to understand a couple things about her. First of all, she's tiny. And I mean seriously TINY. Like my three year old is bigger than her, like she's almost six and can seriously wear 3T clothes on her skinny butt. It makes me nervous that she'll be picked on. Plus its just heartbreaking to see her tiny little body sitting at that big table all alone...(control yourself woman!) Secondly, she's super quiet. She has a tiny little voice and when she's upset she curls in a tiny little ball and quietly weeps to herself. WEEPS! I just can't stand the thought of her being upset and crying in the corner where the teacher won't notice. Ugh. Also, the girl is sort of in la-la land, she is creative and funny and just does her own thing, which I love--but it might not translate so well sometimes. I'm so afraid she's going to be lost in there.

Now for the non-negative part:

The other day we went to the park, within minutes she was wrapped up in a blanket with two other little girls. She makes friends easily and she's not worried about dumb stuff. She doesn't usually let things bother her (because she's in la-la land...), so I'm hoping she'll just be kind of go with the flow-ish. She's sweet and cute and loves to do art and wants to write and read, so I'm SURE she'll have a great time.

Its just the not knowing thats making me crazy.

I may have hurried out to the car trying to hold back tears and then cried like a baby before I got home. And I HATE it when people get all emotional for the first day of school, so once again karma has come back to bite me...

See how my one year old comes up to her chest? Yeah.

It's my Party and I'll...

So its my birthday today.

Just had to throw that in there first so ya'll knew! Because really how could you just be going about your day totally unaware of what today really is!? Now you're life has more meaning. You're welcome.

What do you guys like to do for your birthday? Normally I would do something like go bowling, or play lazer tag or shopping or a movie even...but I'm 37 weeks now and yeah. Bowling? I got my own bowling ball attached to my front side. Lazer tag? Even if I could get the vest on, there's no way I could run around and duck and hide and junk. Shopping? Bah. Movie? There's nothing I really want to see right now, nor do I think I could sit comfortably through a movie...so I got nothin'.

More than anything I'm just going to finish some of the projects I've been working on, and that'll just have to be good enough.

Happy birthday to me!

One Legged Mom

If you knew me personally, or over the course of quite a few years, you would know that I say these words quite often: 'I think I'm dying.'

I know dying isn't a funny thing to joke about, and really I'm not joking because I AM dying. Or I will at some point.

The thing is, I'm not a sickly person, or a super healthy person. I don't get pneumonia or serious virus's hardly...well, ever (totally jinxing myself yes?). What I do get is horrible allergies, ear infections a couple times a year, and since I was a teenager: weird aches and pains.

Like a tight ache in my shoulder/neck area, near my collar bone. Yeah, its just there. Hurting me. And then it goes away, and then it returns. And I think: 'I'm dying aren't I? I must have cancer or something.' Until it goes away and I don't care anymore.

The latest weird pain? All day today I've had these tingles and itches and numbness running up and down my legs. It started out while I was at work, I was putting some stuff away in a closet and it felt like I'd walked through a spider web, and I jumped and started rubbing my leg. But nothing was there...just itchiness. It's gone on like that all day today. Until now, where my left leg is totally numb and has been that way for the last hour or so.

And here I am again, thinking 'I'm dying aren't I? Or I'm going to lose a leg. Yay.'

Besides the fact that I've changed so many flippin' diapers again today, I wouldn't mind taking a little extended "vacation" in a clinic somewhere to have my "illness" checked out. Be it psychiatric or whatnot.