School Blues

I sent two of my kids off to school today. My oldest loves school, she's excited for school, she's responsible and I'm not worried about her at all. My #2 is starting Kindergarden and I AM FREAKING OUT.

You have to understand a couple things about her. First of all, she's tiny. And I mean seriously TINY. Like my three year old is bigger than her, like she's almost six and can seriously wear 3T clothes on her skinny butt. It makes me nervous that she'll be picked on. Plus its just heartbreaking to see her tiny little body sitting at that big table all alone...(control yourself woman!) Secondly, she's super quiet. She has a tiny little voice and when she's upset she curls in a tiny little ball and quietly weeps to herself. WEEPS! I just can't stand the thought of her being upset and crying in the corner where the teacher won't notice. Ugh. Also, the girl is sort of in la-la land, she is creative and funny and just does her own thing, which I love--but it might not translate so well sometimes. I'm so afraid she's going to be lost in there.

Now for the non-negative part:

The other day we went to the park, within minutes she was wrapped up in a blanket with two other little girls. She makes friends easily and she's not worried about dumb stuff. She doesn't usually let things bother her (because she's in la-la land...), so I'm hoping she'll just be kind of go with the flow-ish. She's sweet and cute and loves to do art and wants to write and read, so I'm SURE she'll have a great time.

Its just the not knowing thats making me crazy.

I may have hurried out to the car trying to hold back tears and then cried like a baby before I got home. And I HATE it when people get all emotional for the first day of school, so once again karma has come back to bite me...

See how my one year old comes up to her chest? Yeah.

Sip of the Crazy Life

My three year old just had a melt down over juice.

He said "Mommy, can I have apple juice in a cup pwease?"

So I got him some apple juice in a cup.

Simple enough right?

NO!

He wanted apple juice in a SIPPY cup. So he sat there and stomped and cried and I said sorry, but I already got you juice, drink it or don't.

Then he laid on the floor and very pathetically moaned, "I want my daddy." over and over. He even turned to his sister to make sure he made his point, "Maddie...I want my daaaaddy! waaah!"

It was ridiculous.

Over JUICE!

Of course now he's playing toys and laughing his head off, but who knows where we'll be in another five minutes. I live with a flipping' crazy person.

Link Time

I honestly feel like I have nothing to blog about.

Its not that I don't have a million things swirling around in my head, its just that a. it'll take too much effort to really put into words what I'm thinking and b. none of them are funny.

I've been reading a bunch of blogs like Single Dad Laughing and (Gay) Mormon Guy and Kandee Johnson and they're all so uplifting and trying to help people. It makes me feel like I'm reading self help books every day.

So when I sit down to blog I either want to write out some big inspiring post or I want to say I'm not going to blog because I should be spending my time with my kids and doing uplifting things.

Its confusing I know.

So although this post is a total dud, you can click on those links and hopefully find something that will lift you up instead!

He's Home!

And it was AmAZiNg:

Dream Package Warms my Little Heart

I know today is April Fools Day but I ain't no fool and this ain't no joke!

I know I'm not the most eloquent writer (what with all the "ain't" talk up there), but if I were I would wish today to have that talent. The reason? I need the words to explain to you how much I appreciate some certain people.

As a lot of you know from the constant whining, I've been having sort of a "rough" time lately. Having three kids and being pregnant isn't enough for me, I needed my husband to join the Army and leave for basic training while I was due. And although I give myself enough pity parties to last a lifetime, I've been blessed with some really amazing people to boost me up. (First and foremost would be my sister, I don't know what I'd do without her! I would be the biggest, suckiest jerk to not mention her, I love her with every bit of my heart!) So, awhile back Shellie introduced me to some of her bloggy friends, who immediately scooped me up and adopted me into their clan. Can I tell you how refreshing that is?! They email me, they talk to me on Facebook, basically they treat me like they actually know me and its pretty awesome.

So we decided with all thats going on to do a little "dream package" exchange, where each month for the next couple we would draw names and send a little package to eachother. Its super awesome!! I mean this is just the first month, but just the fact of opening your front door and seeing a cute little brown package on your porch--how great is that?! So girls, if I could muster up all the gratitude and love and happiness in my shriveled little self pitied heart and put it into all the very best words, I would do it for you in a second! I wish I could express to you how much you've meant to me, and how grateful I am to have nice people do something nice especially for me, its been amazing! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

My first package came from Michelle, and I just LOOOVE it! We did a theme of "Spring" and she hit it on the head, she must have been channeling me or something because I'm obsessed with orange and turquoise right now! Here's pictures to show it all off:

Too FUN! I'm all giddy just from looking through the pictures! So fellow bloggers, you don't necessarily have to spend money and send a package but maybe take a minute to sit down and write a note, because honestly who doesn't love to get mail?! And who doesn't need a little pick me up right now?

And thank you again so much to Michelle, Sheryl (she's private, sorry!) and Shellie! You guys seriously ROCK! LOVE YOU!

This Should be for Serious Sunday, but its SATURDAY instead!

I was all ready to do a post about driving in my car yesterday which was going to be extremely hilarious, but after checking other blogs and getting sucked into CJane's comment sections, I'm...well, I'm depressed.

Have you guys been over there? The last few days have been a vortex of emotions and opinions, and hate and love, and confusion and contention. Honestly, it makes my heart hurt a little. And yet, I can't look away or hit the exit button and just forget about it.

I want to, but its so sad.

Its so sad what some people really think of the LDS religion, that they HATE it. They actually hate it. And they don't even understand it, or what they're complaining about. And I want to stand on a big box and explain to them whats really true and fix it all. And then I think, it doesn't matter WHAT I say, they don't WANT to know. They want to be angry, they want to hold on to that. I could talk myself blue in the face with all the logic in the world and it wouldn't mean anything to some of those people. And it makes me sad.

So, more than anything I want to say that I love my religion (and not because I'm some mindless idiot that doesn't think for themself), and it hurts to hear people misconstrue things. Not because I can't take the heat, or because its obviously flawed and I can't defend it, but because people don't want to understand it. And it sucks. I'm trying very hard in my life to stop worrying and judging people for things that just don't matter (like what they feed their kids, or how they clean their house, or whatever bull people--or me--get worked up over) and just being HAPPY. I just want to be happy and worry about whats really important.

Blogging is a wonderful thing, I love it in a million ways. It helps me through things and makes me happy, but in the regard of leaving comments about something people might disagree on, its brutal. Because people don't have to actually see your face, or watch you cry, or edit themselves like they would in real life. And that part of blogging and/or the internet is really tragic.

And in the famous words of, oh I don't know, some famous person, "Can't we all just get along?"

(My first thought is to apologize for the seriousness and content of this post, but I'm not going to, nope, not at all. So yeah.)

Whats in a Name?

I cannot blog! Mostly because after two seconds of sitting in this chair, I am so extremely, ridiculously uncomfortable I want to throw up and scream at the same time! I'm a short girl (5' 2", thank you) and I just don't have enough room in there I guess. This baby thinks he's allowed to fiddle on my ribs as often as possible, and its actually pretty painful! Oh yes, I said "HE", we just found out last thursday that we're having another little boy! (Heaven help me!) Not that I don't love my son, I love him waaaaaay more than my girls, but he smells bad. And he breaks stuff. And he pinches and bites all the time. I'm a little afraid about how this next baby will even survive. We'll keep our fingers crossed for when the time comes.

Right now our biggest challenge (you know, besides paying our bills and not going into a deep depression) is picking out another boy name. I find boy's names so much harder to pick than girl's!
Here are my issues with picking a boy name*:

1. It can't be common. I don't want a John, or a Mike, or a Shawn or something everybody has heard of for forever.

2. It can't be weird. Although I don't want a common name, I also don't want a weird name that sounds weird-like.

3. I like names with meanings. So that means I want a family name or a church history name or a name of someone that meant something to me, not a name that I just saw in a book and said 'yup sounds good.'

4. I want a name that will grow with him. I think certain names are adorable...for a little boy. But that little boy has to grow up and be a man, and what if he wants to be a doctor or a lawyer or someone super important and I named him Skippy?

5. My husband doesn't like anything I like. He's dumb.

So there ya go. Do you think I could make this any more hard on myself or dramatic? I probably could, don't put it past me. The other problem is that my husband is leaving in a week and a couple days and we would love to have it picked before then. How bout that, did I make it even better?

Now that you know the circumstances, could you help me out? I would love some name ideas or some suggestions on how you picked your kids names, pretty pretty please?!

*Please don't feel bad if you named your boy John or Mike or Shawn, I don't care, I think they're great names, I just have issues. Like, there's something wrong with me. I don't judge other people how they name their kids, they can do whatever. This is just how my mind thinks. :)

You Guys Are Cool

So I probably shouldn't tell you guys this because it will just solidify how absolutely narcissistic I am, but thats not the point I'm trying to make...last night I couldn't sleep and I was bored and so I started reading all your blogs (sorry if I didn't comment, I was reading from my phone, no commenting from there. poo.), when I finished reading your posts, I started reading some of my old posts. And then read some more of my posts, and some more and an hour later I was finally tired. The things is, yes I enjoyed what I wrote and thought some of it was funny and entertaining and sometimes not, but the reason I kept reading was because of all your comments. You guys kill me, you are so funny! Plus, I really miss my friends like crazy and I've been feeling super lonely, so it was like having a conversation with my friends, and I really needed that!

So thank you guys, for being awesome, being supportive, being funny and just what I need! You rock!

Deep Thoughts...

So sorry I haven't been around, I feel like I'm running around with my head chopped off, but things are starting to come together. Doesn't moving suck?! I really hope the next time we move someone else will do all the work. Here's hoping.

So even though I really shouldn't be wasting time, I did wanted to blog for a minute about friends and how that all works when you're moving. This was just something I noticed the last week or so, you let me know if this has been your experience too. So I think there are two kinds of friends when you're moving away, the friend that takes every chance they can to spend time with you before you have to go and the friend that totally drops you because you're gonna be gone soon anyway. Its interesting, and I totally understand both sides of it. The friend that just lets go as soon as they know you're leaving, I think, does it out of a sort of self-protection. It hurts to have the friend leave so instead of spending time together thinking about how much you're going to miss them, you just separate yourself from them so its easier. Do you think thats right? Or are they just not a real friend and don't really care you're leaving?

Its been really funny for me to see though, its probably easier for me because I get to go back home where I have plenty of family and friends I look forward to seeing; so it doesn't hurt that much. But still some people surprise me with their reaction. You know whats sad though? Really thinking about it, I would probably be more of a "separator" friend. Good thing to think about.

So what do you think? What kind of friend would you be, and have you had this experience?

Dang You Jiminy Cricket!

You may have noticed I took down my "mom" story. If you were fortunate enough to read it, count your blessings because it is loooooooong gone and its not coming back.

Its not coming back because my sister made me feel bad. (LOVE YOU SISTER!) She had to bring up all this legitimate garbage that made total sense and also made me feel bad.

Stuff like, my mom would be mortified if she knew I'd written it...blah, blah, blah...

And, would I like it if people were writing embarrassing stories about me even if I didn't know it, for the whole world to see...blah...

And, we love our moms' and should respect them sort of stuff...blahdedy blah!

Whatever.

I just have to say, that honestly when I wrote it, it was not my intention to be mean to my mom, but just because I think its a pee-your-pants funny story doesn't mean its right to put up. And since I love and adore my mom and would never want to hurt her, I took it down.

Darn my maturity.

I love Babies!

So just wanted to share real quick some pictures I took of my nephew this last weekend, isn't he the sweetest thing?!











P.S. Thanks for your suggestions about some books, always looking for a good book to read! Oh and I forgot to put in there 'Austenland' which I just adored! Okay then, later!

Arrgghhh!

Whooey, why does life have to be so hard? (Don't answer that, I know why life has to be hard, but... WHYYYYYY?!?)

We're trying to move.

Like I really want to move. I want to be near my family, I want my kids to know their grandparents, I want to be home.

My husband wants to be a cop.

So he applied for a job back home, flew up there for the testing, passed the tests with pretty good scores, AND...didn't get the job.

Hard.

When we were going through this whole process, I kept telling myself I would be fine either way, I knew it wasn't a sure thing that he would get the job and that was okay, we would deal with however it turned out and blah blah BLAH!

I didn't realize how much I was hoping for this job until we were told no.

And I do want it, I DO. I really do.

So now what?

We have to re-look at all our plans, what the next step is, where we need to go with it now.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy, that rarely good things just fall into your lap, but I was really hoping it would, dang it!

I also know that the Lord will help us figure this out, and maybe we just need to show Him that we really do want this and we're willing to work for it, not just sit back and hope He makes it happen.

So I guess thats what we'll do.

But I'm scared. I'm scared to put myself, my family, everything, out there and take a giant leap of faith. I want security, I want to know it will all be perfect and I don't have to risk anything. Poo.

Well, here's to stupid "life" and here's to making hard decisions...


...and here's to trusting in the Lord.

Click On It

I'm in a sharing kind of mood today. Giving I am, giving.

So in my compassion I'm sharing with you some of my very favoritist blogs! WHOOO PARTAY!!!

I'll get right to it then:

I can't help it, I think this blog is hilarious--I mean absolutely roll on the floor hysterical! It's called Smoke and Dream, and I apologize for the swearing, but there I warned you right then, so if you don't like swearing then don't click, but its HILARIOUS!

Another blog I really enjoy every time she posts is Regarding Annie. I don't know how she does it, but she's deep and funny and engaging and awesome all at the same time! (Kind of reminds me of someone...ME...haha Yeah right.)

Gauranteed laugh for me is The Comics Curmudgeon, I FREAKING LOVE his site!! But I've read the comics since I can't tell you when, so if you're not familiar with the Sunday funnies, this site probably isn't that funny to you. Otherwise, LAUGH AWAY! Oh the wittiness...

Nurturing Narcissism is the first blog I ventured to outside of my friends and family, my sister-in-law is a friend of hers and I clicked on it because I thought she had an interesting name. What I found was an insanely clever, beautiful "girlie-woman" (as she says) and I'm totally infatuated with her! I so want to be her friend, she is so dang cool!

And this list would never be complete without Seriously Shellie, who is not only my blog twin, but we get to hopefully meet eachother in the next week or four!!! I am SO EXCITED because I just know we'll be besties forever! Shellie without fail makes me laugh, unless she posts about cancer, and then I bawl like a baby, she is so amazing and I love her guts!

Okay people go at it with the clicking! Oh, and tell me what you're favorite blogs are, ya know, besides MINE! tee hee :)

(post edit: I limited this list to five blogs, because look at my sidebar over there, I obviously love a LOT of blogs! So don't feel bad if I didn't mention you, I will next time! PROMISE!)

Three Oh!

It's my husband's birthday this week. And its not just any birthday, its the big 3-0!

And you know what? I have thought of nothing to do for him. Nothing. Its not because I don't love him, or I don't think about him. I do, I definitely do. Its more like my life is so jam packed that if its not glaring at me TODAY, right now, this very second; then it gets shoved back until its right at the forefront and I HAVE to focus on it.

But now I feel really bad, what do I do?! What do I get him?!

Whats worse is he wanted to go to a movie that day and we can't even go because I have a staff meeting. Garbage I tell you, garbage.

So what kind of people are you? Are you big celebraters or do you not make a big deal out of birthdays?

And also help me out, what should I do for the guy?