Schedule Schmedule

My kids are just going back to school today. Our district had a strike and they were out of school all last week and all this week until today. Now they're back and I can start that whole worrying about my kindergartner all over again. Its lovely.

But at least we can hopefully start our "school schedule" now, you know the one that says I should have showered by now...

I suck at keeping schedules.

I surely like to make lists and plans but thats about as far as I get most of the time. And I love it if I accidentally do something so I can cross it off. Thats awesome.

This is about what my day was like with all the kids home (in picture form):

It was craziness I tell ya.

This is how it is now with only the boys home:

A whole lotta this. Why are boys so gross?

Sip of the Crazy Life

My three year old just had a melt down over juice.

He said "Mommy, can I have apple juice in a cup pwease?"

So I got him some apple juice in a cup.

Simple enough right?

NO!

He wanted apple juice in a SIPPY cup. So he sat there and stomped and cried and I said sorry, but I already got you juice, drink it or don't.

Then he laid on the floor and very pathetically moaned, "I want my daddy." over and over. He even turned to his sister to make sure he made his point, "Maddie...I want my daaaaddy! waaah!"

It was ridiculous.

Over JUICE!

Of course now he's playing toys and laughing his head off, but who knows where we'll be in another five minutes. I live with a flipping' crazy person.

Stuffedy Stuff Stuff

Thanks for listening to my cry baby boo boo post yesterday, I actually feel better for writing it so I'm not sorry for doing it. And by the way, those nylons were freaking cute. Like this:


(Except they were white, the white picture you couldn't really see at all. Cute though right?)

Anyway, just a couple thoughts for you today:

*Cleaning my girls' room last night (which was ridiculously filthy, I mean just sickening) I kept feeling like the room was mocking me. Like "ha ha! This sucks so bad for you! And there's still so much more to do!!" *pointing finger at me*

*My girls tried to "help" clean with me, but their idea of cleaning is very skewed. They pick something up, play with it, laugh about how long its been since they've seen it, exclaim "HEY! I've been looking for this for forever!", read books, color. I've seriously failed as their mother.

*I remember doing the exact same thing as a kid.

*They told me probably twenty times "I love you mom" while I was cleaning and I said "Yeah, I would love me too since I'M DOING ALL THE WORK!" Thats why I'm a good mom.

*I took my oldest to the dentist this morning, and I felt sick out of nervousness for her. I hate the dentist. I never want to go there again. She thought it was awesome.

*My mother in law came to stay with the other kids while I took her to the dentist, I was worried that the kids would be bad since they'd been cranky and screaming all morning. She said that the baby didn't even whimper once, and they were perfect. Of course as soon as I walk in the door, they are SCREAMING and FIGHTING and AWFUL. Why do kids do that? (Unless she lied and they were horrible, but from what it looked like, they were pretty great. Even folded laundry with her.)

*Is it as weird for you as it is for me when someone folds your underwear for you?

*A friend of mine stopped by earlier but I was on the phone and didn't hear her knocking, so do you think my kids come tell me? No, they spend a couple minutes trying to unlock the door and then I hear my little girl say "Okay, come in." And I'm like "Ruh?!" (picture Scooby Doo right here) Obviously the millions of times I've said not to open the door, Mommy will open the door has really sunk in. Little boogers.

Okay, until next time. Peace out.

Boy oh Boy

I have four children. My first two were girls, my second two: BOYS.

Boys. Boys, boys, boys, boys...boys. Boys are a whole other creature I tell you!

From the very beginning they smell worse than girls. I'm serious! Boys like to play in the garbage can. They like to run in circles for half an hour straight. They're rough and loud and curious and have so much energy I wish I could channel it to use some myself. Reverse psychology doesn't work on them at all. If I told my girls to go take a bath and they whine about it, all I would have to say is "Fine. Then you CAN'T take a bath!" and they would be begging me to take a bath. Boys? Not one bit. I can threaten my son, "Do you need a TIME OUT?!" (my girls would be quaking) and he would be "Yes. I DO want a time out! PLEASE GIVE ME A TIME OUT!!" (yelled in the middle of church), its exasperating.

Probably the worst thing about boys though? Their boy parts. Yes. You read that right. Their boy parts. They are like OBSESSED with them. Potty training my son has been like living in a nudist resort. And I'm gonna be honest, I just don't want to see wiener's like...ever. Even if they are just my little boy's. I feel like I'm being visually assaulted all the time. I'm thinking boys' think its like their own personally handle of some sort, just something to hang on to constantly. Goodness sakes Son, its not a toy!

My younger son is eight months old now and I see him doing the exact same things as my older son. He's walking now and he is into EVERYTHING. He just learned how to open all the cupboards in the kitchen, and do you think he wants to play in the cupboard with pots and pans? NO, he wants the cupboard with dangerous chemicals that should probably be up high anyway! What is wrong with him?!

But you know what? Boys are so awesome too. And I love mine more than anything. Ya know what I just thought of--boys are like puppies! So cute and adorable and lovable and so destructive...

One More Reason I Can't Clean

I just recently found this blog called Hyperbole and a Half and even though she swears every once in awhile, I think she's HYSTERICAL. Like I think I'm in love with her a little bit.

Anyway, I thought it would be a funny change up from regular 'just writing' posts, so this is my take with her style on what happened to me earlier today:

Let me set it up for you, my kids were watching tv.

This is what they looked like:

I needed to vacuum. I warned them before I did it that I was going to vacuum. I was going to be turning the vacuum on RIGHT NOW.

This is what ensued afterward from my son:

Turn the vacuum off.

Turn it back on.

Screaming, running in circles, running from one end of the room to the other whilst screaming.

So if you come to my house and my floors need vacuuming, you will know why it hasn't been done.

The One You've Been Waiting For!

Okay here it is! The post about our Redneck Party! So for a family birthday party we decided we wanted to do some sort of theme, we were throwing things around and all of a sudden it hit us: REDNECK! Now I hope nobody gets offended, it was all in fun and whats sad is that it kept coming back to us that a lot of things weren't really a reach for us... :)

First up, just a few of the decorations:

Getting dressed up, I loved the costumes! Most all of us got a tattoo of some sort, only classy ones you know. Me and Dave were gettin' hitched that day, so he wore his fancy tuxedo tshirt, and don't worry about me, I'm not due for another month, just showing big... There were a lot of pregnant people there, my mom, my cousin's wife--because as she says "It ain't redneck unless you're pregnant!" hahaha

We played games too, games like toilet seat toss, watermelon seed spittin', bobbin' for pickled pigs feet and spam carving! And there were AWESOME prizes--all straight from the Goodwill!

Ahhhhhh how I love being silly! Next time you're getting together for a big family BBQ or party or something, I would highly recommend the "Redneck" theme. :)