So What If I Dance Around in My Living Room?

In my living room, leading out to the backyard is a huge glass sliding door. There's a karate studio right behind our house and I'm pretty sure people can see through the huge glass sliding door into our living room. Where we spend most our day because the tv's in there. And the kitchen is right here too. Oh and most importantly, the computer.

I often wonder after I've done something really weird, if someone saw me and what they'd be thinking.

Like when a new cartoon comes on and I do a little weird jiggity jig towards my kids to the music. Really big hopping and crazy spins and moves. Are they thinking "Whats that lady with the crazy hair and still in her pajamas hopping around for?! Did she step on one of the million toys on the floor? Whats going on?!"

Or when a new cartoon comes on and the music for it starts playing and I sing really loud and crane my neck back to sing it like a pop star. Are they like "Why does that lady have a spoon in her hand and is using it like a microphone? Is she howling at the moon?"

Or like when my son is running around completely naked, are they like "We should call social services, there's obviously a problem with this lady."

There's a lot more situations I think of during the day but you get the point. If you saw your neighbor dancing around like a crazy person through their living room window, what would YOU think? We'll leave out me spanking my kids, dragging my son to the bathroom, how many hours I sit on the computer, nose picking and so on and so forth...

Hodge Podge of Complaintiness

Getting back to normal life. Thats what I've been up to.

Trying to survive the heat here also. You see, it doesn't usually get too very hot here in Western Washington, and when it does, its very humid. Which is very uncomfortable. And very sweaty. And VERY stinky.

Hardly anyone here has air conditioning because thats just silly to have for four days in the whole summer. But man, for those four days are you miserable! And I hate to complain because I LOVE hot weather. Really my biggest complaint is that I live in the middle section of our townhome and so I get heat from both sides, and it is HOT. And uncomfortable.

Other things to complain about:

*I hate cheap diapers. HATE THEM. For a baby shower I received lots and lots of diapers and wipes. Somewhere in there I got a pack of cheapy diapers, which leak on me constantly. CONSTANTLY. Its so flippin annoying. (They leak after an hour of me putting them on--THE BABY--it really sounds like I'M wearing the diapers in that paragraph...hmmmm.)

*Never send your husband to the grocery store unless you want to have him come home with this:

And ONLY this. Macaroni & Cheese and tuna.

*I have a massive canker sore. Its ridiculous and it hurts like crazy. I keep thinking it can't get any bigger or more uncomfortable but then I wake up the next day with a freaking volcano on my inner lip.

*My two year old son ate a little too much fruit and had an explosion in his diaper. This happened upstairs. I was downstairs. He decided to slide down the stairs to tell me to change his diaper. You can only imagine the clean up on those stairs. Kill me.

*We watched '2012' with John Cusack last night. It was... horrible. Depressing. Scary. Sad. A little ridiculous. Made me hate the government. I might have even peed a little, I mean cried a little.

*I'm reading "The Alchemist" right now. Its boring me. Its a little too...I don't know...dumb. I don't like when the author has to throw in so many little dumb things, it seems like the story should be interesting enough without telling me pop culture facts or something? I don't know. I really want to get some new books (MOSTLY JUST THE LAST HUNGER GAMES BOOK!!! COME OUT ALREADY!! Sorry for that little outburst. Ahem.), but our library sucks so bad, they never have anything in stock. Poo.

*Is it sad I could come up with like five more complaints? Don't answer that. I already know the answer.

Okay, I'm done. Thanks for letting me unload. Please feel free to leave your own complaints in the comment section. (Unless their about me and my whining, or anything mean--about me, you know.)

Agh! Time to Pack!

I'm leaving this Saturday for a week in Utah. Yes, its true! I might blog, I might not, we'll just see how this trip goes.

I like to keep you guys on your toes.

So now that this trip is right here and I'm needing to actually pack and get ready...I'm REALLY nervous!!

I'm nervous for a couple of reasons:

First up, I'm nervous that my other three children will die before I get home. Not that I don't trust my husband, I just don't trust my husband. My two year old son is NAUGHTY and I'm seriously afraid that if my husband isn't constantly vigilant the kid is going to be halfway down the street before my husband knows it and been hit by a car. Or he's going to break his arm or something. I don't know, I'm just worried.

Second up, I'm nervous that no one in Utah will want to see me. Like I'm going to show up at my old Ward and be like "HELLO!!!" and everyone's going to be all "what are you doing here?" I really am scared about it, especially because I've had a couple people when I told them I was going to Utah say "Oh, whatcha going for?" and I'm like "uhhh, to visit." It seems dumb now.

Third up, what if the world ends while I'm gone? Hey, it could happen.

I also feel stupid calling people and asking them if they want to spend time with me. It feels so self-centered, or conceited or something. "Hey friend, I'm going to be in town next week, what days work for you to hang out with ME ME MEEEE!!!"

You don't have to tell me I'm crazy, I already know it.

Things I'm Obsessed With Right NOW

*chocolate milk

*Marilyn Monroe

(someday I want to re-create this picture. with me. really.)

*Man v. Food

*Ree Drummond the Pioneer Woman

*CUPCAKES


*sifting through craft blogs for ideas, but never actually crafting

*This hair cut:


*Bethenny Frankel

*how to get people to give me money

(or in other words, I obsess over how to pay my bills)

WoMAN in the Mirror

I hate summertime blogging. Hate it.

This same thing happened last summer too; everyone else goes off and actually has stuff to do and they're busy and having fun and don't blog, while I sit here like a big blogging loser.

I miss reading everyone's blogs. Not that people aren't blogging at all, just the frequency goes down a lot. Mine has too, but thats just because I'm boring and have nothing to say.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about "who I am."

You know when you first are getting to know someone and you get to the part where you're telling them about your family, and its like 'my sister is the crazy one, and my brother is the responsible one, blah, blah, blah' (I wasn't saying those were true for my brother and sister either way, just an example). Well, I want to know what people say about me. I WANT TO KNOW! Even if its bad, I want to know what they think. And then I can either change and be better and even more ridiculously perfect...heh heh...or I can defend myself and tell everyone they suck. I don't know, I just want to know! Ya know?!

Why is it so hard to see ourself? You can get a pretty good feel of who a person is after you've known them for awhile (sometimes right away if they're easy to read), but what is it about ourself thats so hard to get? Is it that we don't want to admit to our faults? Do we not see the things that we don't want to change? I don't know, but I'm trying really hard to see it, and all I'm getting is a headache.

So, do you want to know what people say about you behind your back or are you happy being blissfully ignorant?

p.s. Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" is one of my all-time favorite songs. For real. :)

Cute, and then Not so Cute

Things kids do that are "cute," that are very much not "cute" when adults do them:

*pass gas. It is totally cute when a little baby "toots", not at ALL when an adult does. Hysterical when little kids do it, nope still not funny when my husband does.

*yawn. I love a sweet little baby yawn, its adorable. When an adult yawns all huge, wide mouth open, uh-uh: not cute.

*walk unsteadily. You know when a baby's first learning to walk and they look like Frankenstein? Their arms out and they're wobbly and bow legged and shuffling. SO CUTE. If I walked around like that people would be rushing away in the other direction.

*stare at you grinning. I look down at my baby constantly to catch him staring at me with a big ol' grin on his face, its the sweetest thing. Like he was just waiting for me to look at him and he couldn't help smiling. Now, if I looked across a room at a man staring at me with a big ol' grin on his face, I'd probably slap him.

*steal your food. I was at a baby shower last night, and there was a little 18 mo. old girl there who was so stinkin' cute! She was walking around the room and would stop at people's plates and smile and reach over for a chip or whatever looked good. It was hilarious and so cute. Now if I walked around the room and started grabbing food off other people's plate I'd probably get stabbed with a fork.

*suck their thumb. SO cute to watch a little baby find their fingers and suck them. I hope I don't ever see an adult sucking their thumb, for reals.

*eating. Have you noticed when a toddler eats, he smears food all over his face? Its so funny and cute to watch them try and get a spoon in their mouth and get the food all over their nose and chin and hair and ears. Now picture an adult, wide mouthed trying to maneuver a spoon and getting it all over their face (picture it! I mean really picture them eating like a toddler! DO IT!). So. Not. Cute.

*being honest. When a kid tells you your teeth are yellow, or you have a big belly, its cute because you know they're just being honest. If an adult told me I was fat, I'd probably punch them in their big fat gut.

I compare adults and kids all the time, the biggest thing that just stymies me is: crying. From babies to little kids, when they cry they wail. They make noises and sounds and say "WAAH!", why don't we do that as an adult when we cry? At what point in your life do you stop wailing? And why do we stop if thats obviously the natural way to cry since a baby does?

These deep thoughts so weigh on me...

Just A Suggestion

Dear Costco,

Although I really do enjoy your humongous vats of mayonnaise and chocolate muffins the size of flippin' softballs, I do have a few complaints. Why the crap do you have milk in square jugs? I know hypothetically it sounds like a space saver, but realistically all it does is make milk spill everywhere. They are ridiculously hard to pour from. Fix that please. Also, why the crap does it matter if people walk in the exit, or walk out the entrance? They are two feet from each other, does it REALLY matter? If someone's coming in to use the bathroom, do you REALLY need to have them go back OUT the exit, walk two feet around the brick column and back through the entrance? Its really annoying. Like I want to rip someone's head off, so annoying. One last thing, keep those samples coming...

Sincerely,

The Complainer

Library Lacking

I hate the library.

Which is so sad because when I was a kid/tween we used to go to the library ALL THE TIME. And I loved it. We would check out books, sit in there and read, get movies like the old "Parent Trap" and do it all again the next week.

Now? Not really.

And do you know why?

First up, my son is rotten. There's just no way I'm going into a library ever again with that boy until he can SHUT UP, and I have him on a leash. All he wants to do is pull books off the shelf, and if I make him hold my hand he just screams and screams. Not so good in the library, ya know? I was so ready to hurt him, I'm not kidding.

Second reason: Nobody actually goes to the library to check out books, there were atleast 20 computers in there and every one of them was filled up with scary looking people who wanted to use the free internet. Now I don't want to begrudge anyone the internet, but seriously people. Nobody moved the whole time we were there, and we were there for awhile (yes, even with the awful two year old). And all I wanted to do was get on their computer to check to see the name of the author for a couple books and see if they were in stock. Could I do that? Nope. Like I said, I know the computers are there for people to use, but if you're not even at the library for a book at all, I don't know, it just kind of bugs me.

But everything bugs me right now, and I mean pretty much EVERYTHING. I hate the last month of pregnancy.

In other news, I have been trying to be productive and get some projects done, but everything is working against me. Mainly my children. And my body. I promise when this mess of projects actually gets somewhere to a normal state I'll post pictures or something. Maybe. I'm not making any promises.

The Lost...Trash Bag?

So I taught Relief Society on Sunday. Crazy huh? Its been awhile since I taught Relief Society. I taught the Young Women every once in awhile but its different (mostly the Young Women just stare at you). It was a good lesson and I'm happy to say that I think it went really well. In fact, it was sort of even fun! Weird huh? Anyway, the point I'm getting at is not that I'm an amazingly awesome teacher (because you could've guessed that already right?! ha. ha ha ha.) but that it was a real pick me up and I've been feeling pretty good this week. YAY!

But I want to complain about something (boo!). Not that I'm really super annoyed or whatever, more than anything I'm confused...

Somebody keeps putting their trash in my trash can.

I KNOW!

I don't get it. I just really don't get why you would take the trash bag out of your house and walk outside, see your trash can sitting there and then walk over to my trash can and put your crap inside. I just don't get why someone would need to do that, because if its one of my neighbors their trash can isn't full. Maybe I would get it if the can was like overflowing, but its not. And if they're not one of my neighbors, who the crap is walking around with a garbage bag just looking for a place to throw it away and keeps picking my can?! More than anything, I'm worried there's like something illegal they're putting in there (you have no idea what kind of neighbors I have. But in a nutshell: bad.), or that they're going through my can and finding things I haven't properly shredded. I don't know, I'm just so confused.

Whats better is that I'm constantly going out there and putting my son's stinky diapers in there, so I hope they get a big whiff every time they dump their garbage in there.

I know, I'm evil. Or immature. Whatever.





p.s. I started reading "The Lost Symbol" by Dan Brown. I had to stop reading it about 3/4 of the way through. Its much more evil than I am. Like horribly so. Maybe I'm really sensitive but when the main "villain" started trapping animals to sacrifice their blood so he could get a high off it, I thought "hmmmm, this is really satanic." Other reasons too, but that was enough to turn me off to it. Sad, it was just coming together.

p.s.s Do you think after reading that, I should start reading "Hunger Games"? Because thats what I got the other day and now I'm sort of scared to read it.

p.p.s I found my husband's little pellet handgun thing, and now its by my bed so I can REALLY hurt anyone that tries to come in and bludgeon me to death. I feel so much safer.

Arrrr Me Mateys!

My favorite "naughty" joke:

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender notices the pirate has placed his steering wheel in his pants, and mentions it to the pirate. The pirate responds with:

"Arrrrr...it's driving me nuts!"


Tee hee!


Whats your favorite joke?

Pearly Whites

Remember forever ago when I posted about whitening my teeth? Well, I honestly only tried it that one time and then I gave up because I'm weak.

But I'm totally redeeming myself because I've done it five times in a row now!! And ya know what? I can see my teeth getting whiter!! WOOT! And ya know what else?! Its not that bad anymore! I learned how to not swallow or move my tongue or do anything so I don't have to taste the nasty whitening taste! Its perfecto!

I think the part my kids like the most is that I can't talk for an hour everyday. I basically just motion at them and mmmmmm really angrily. They laugh their heads off. And my son just follows me around mimicking my mumbling.

The only bad thing was that one time when I had to sneeze. That was painful.

Life's Questions

I'm a very inquisitive sort. There are so many questions that go through my head all the time, some of them I'm sure I could figure out, but some of them boggle the mind. Here's some of the questions I think about:

Why are there never any lids to the sippy cups?

What is up with daylight savings?

Why can I have seven pacifiers but when the baby cries, I can't find a single one?!

Why does my husband load up the dishwasher but then never starts it?

Why aren't all the boogers in your nose the same, sometimes they're hard, sometimes there's a lot, why?!

Why is there a cricket in my bathroom?

Why am I so impatient?

Do they make cartoons for kids or adults, because there's some content that I know kids don't get?

Why is blogging so fun? And then sometimes its not?

Why do I love clothes and shoes so much?

Ewww, what did I just step in?

Why won't my kids let me sleep past 8:00 am?

How come the stuff you liked as a kid isn't that great anymore? (especially bologna? patooey!)

How does it make any sense to base your self worth on what other people think, when they're questioning their own self worth?

What is my obsession with having twins?

Why do we care so much what other people think of us, and will sacrifice most anything to impress them?

Why can't we learn if we don't have the money for it, we just shouldn't buy it?

Why do we think only about whats happening right now, instead of the big picture?

Why are men such babies when it comes to pain? But they think they're so tough about everything?

How can your friends straight up lie to your face over something stupid?

Why is it when I'm reading a story about a hero and how they acted so brave, I think "I could be like that!" but then when I'm faced with something instead of being brave, I panic? (In other words, why can't I be the person in my head?)

Why isn't life easier the older you get, instead of harder?

Why in the world were mosquito's ever made?

Why is it so hard to forgive people?

What makes you keep reading this?



Oh, I could go on and on...

Click On It

I'm in a sharing kind of mood today. Giving I am, giving.

So in my compassion I'm sharing with you some of my very favoritist blogs! WHOOO PARTAY!!!

I'll get right to it then:

I can't help it, I think this blog is hilarious--I mean absolutely roll on the floor hysterical! It's called Smoke and Dream, and I apologize for the swearing, but there I warned you right then, so if you don't like swearing then don't click, but its HILARIOUS!

Another blog I really enjoy every time she posts is Regarding Annie. I don't know how she does it, but she's deep and funny and engaging and awesome all at the same time! (Kind of reminds me of someone...ME...haha Yeah right.)

Gauranteed laugh for me is The Comics Curmudgeon, I FREAKING LOVE his site!! But I've read the comics since I can't tell you when, so if you're not familiar with the Sunday funnies, this site probably isn't that funny to you. Otherwise, LAUGH AWAY! Oh the wittiness...

Nurturing Narcissism is the first blog I ventured to outside of my friends and family, my sister-in-law is a friend of hers and I clicked on it because I thought she had an interesting name. What I found was an insanely clever, beautiful "girlie-woman" (as she says) and I'm totally infatuated with her! I so want to be her friend, she is so dang cool!

And this list would never be complete without Seriously Shellie, who is not only my blog twin, but we get to hopefully meet eachother in the next week or four!!! I am SO EXCITED because I just know we'll be besties forever! Shellie without fail makes me laugh, unless she posts about cancer, and then I bawl like a baby, she is so amazing and I love her guts!

Okay people go at it with the clicking! Oh, and tell me what you're favorite blogs are, ya know, besides MINE! tee hee :)

(post edit: I limited this list to five blogs, because look at my sidebar over there, I obviously love a LOT of blogs! So don't feel bad if I didn't mention you, I will next time! PROMISE!)

TP-ing

Every once in awhile I go sit down, I look around, and I wonder:

"Where'd all the toilet paper go?!"

I swear my kids must just stick the end in the water and flush it all down because we go through TP like you wouldn't believe!

It wouldn't be as bad if we stored the toilet paper in a place you could reach while sitting on the toilet but we don't. And lets face it, I'm rushing in there at the last second and don't spot the toilet paper until its too late, if ya know what I'm sayin.

I guess the smart thing to do would be to move the toilet paper. Or make my kids go outside. Or make a one square rule for them. Whatever.

What do your kids do that drive you crazy?

Sweet Sassafrass Sunday

So, I LOVED this post from Heidi on her decorating for dollars ideas! I've been wanting to scrap everything in my house and start from scratch, I'm so sick of what I've got. But since I don't have the time or MONEY or...MONEY, I just can't do that. Instead I'm relegated to using what I've got and making it into something I love. And guess what? I DID IT!
I've been wanting for forever to do something with my lamp shades. I kept looking for material and like Wal-Mart and...well, yeah, just Wal-Mart, and not finding anything I really liked. So I went to Deseret Book, where they have TONS of really cute (and expensive) fabric. Don't worry, I got mine for freeEEEEEeeee! It's a long story (actually its not, I just don't feel like elaborating).

So anyway, this is what my lamps looked like before I totally made them awesome:

Super plain huh? Nothing special atleast.



For reasons I don't wish to share (our house is old and nothing works), we have four lamps in our living room. The littlest one, turned into this:

Oh MY GAWSH! I absolutely adore it! And YES, I made it all by myself! Sewing and everything, you didn't know I was so crafty!



The second one I did turned out like this'm:

I ADORE damask. ADORE it.


I still have two more to do, and this is the material I'm going to use:

I also ADORE toile. ADORE!


And one more shot of the cutest little lamp ever!:

Those pom-poms...that pattern...could it get much cuter?!

Okay, I'm really tooting my own horn here, it's just I was in such a rut and that's perked me up so much! So, what home decorating projects do you want to get done?

Cleaning Shpleaning

You know, as a wife and mother I have responsibilities, assignments--special duties, if you will. I try to take my charge with grace, poise and accountability. But sometimes, only every great once in awhiles's mind you, do I feel the weight of my obligations.


Oh, who am I kidding? My "obligations" are the equivalent of a ten-year old's chores!


I am a maid.


If I didn't have children, I don't think I'd mind the cleaning so much, but for the love of all that is holy, I cannot keep my house clean for two minutes. They follow me around in their tasmanian devil spin (emphasis on devil), reaking havoc all the way.

So here for your pleasure, is a list of my top five (top? maybe bottom would be better...) most useless, stupid, redundant, mind numbing chores in my opinion:



#5- Clipping the chicken's talons. I can't say it isn't lively, but you know they do have large talons.


#4- Lighting the candles at night. It gets dark, I know. But still, the monotony of it all.


#3- Braiding the horse's hair. Okay, I'm a hair girl myself, I learned to braid when I was quite little, but you have no idea how horrible the horse's are at staying still! The want to trot and giddy or whatever it is they do must be very strong.


#2- Official bottle warmer. It doesn't matter what I have going on, if the baby needs a bottle, I must warm it. The process being: either rubbing the bottle between my hands, or sitting on it. So drab.

#1- Patching toe holes. And it's ALWAYS the big toe! Well, sometimes it's the pinky...

Don't you hate those chores too?! I know, they're so degrading and stuff. Alright, alright, here's my real list (I know, I think I'm so funny! tee hee):

#5- Emptying the dishwasher. And I specifically mean the emptying part. I hate it because it means once its empty, it has to be loaded. I can't just stop at the emptying. It's like two chores rolled into one. Sucky.

#4- Folding laundry. Laundry in itself is a horrible, horrible thing. It's never ending! Atleast with cleaning the toilet, or mopping the floors, you're done with it until the next time it needs to be done. And even if thats the very next day, it's done when it's done. But laundry? NO. You get done with one load, there's another waiting to go. But the laundry itself isn't so bad, because as my mom says, you get to throw your clothes into the magic box and they come out clean. It's the folding part that takes so much time, and it's so doggone boring! Sure I could do it while watching my shows, but I don't have too many shows I watch, so what then?

#3- Taking out the garbage. Technically, this is my husband's job. But when the garbage is so full it's spilling out over the top all over the floor around it, I get the great pleasure of taking the trash out. I don't like it mostly because it's another thing I have to do, when my husband should do it.

#2- Making the bed. I mean, sure, I like having my bed made, but seriously who makes their bed?! You, I bet. Well, the only time I ever consistently make my bed is when I'm pregnant. Don't know why. I hate it because my morning's are frantic and limited, so to stop and make the bed is just not on my priority list and by the time I have a minute to do it, it's the middle of the afternoon and then, what's the point?

And the NUMBER ONE chore I think is the stupidest/most irritating?!

#1- Dusting. I loathe dusting. It's the one job I do that is completely useless. Maybe it's not as bad in other people's houses. But my house is over ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD. A hundred! So it gets pretty dusty. I try to dust, really I do, but all it does it move things around. I bought some Pledge junk the other day, hoping it would help. Nope, lots of dust the very next day. Stupid dust particles, you are the bain of my cleaning existence!! (lots of fist shaking here)

So, what part of cleaning do you think is the worst? It's the chicken talons isn't it?

Such a Love/Hate Relationship

Okay everyone, I have to preface this by telling you, I'm one of the millions who completely love the Twilight series. Adore it! If you don't like it, whatever I don't care, I personally loved it, and I hate that people who didn't like it make those of us that did seem like we're dumb and must not know what good literature is (not everyone acts like this, but some do, and I hate it.). I read a LOT, I love good literature, classics, Harry Potter, whatever. I liked Twilight, it was entertaining to me. Anyway, to get on with the post, the movie for me was fun because I liked the books, but seriously so dumb. It just was on a cheap budget, so the actors/graphics weren't up to snuff. If you want to know a great opinion that mirrors mine, see here. The blog is Nurturing Narcissism, and I adore her, she writes well and is hysterical. She also re-cast the movie and cast the next movie--SPOT ON! I wish I could see her version of Twilight! Anyway, she also featured on her blog today this video from youtube--it's a little long, but seriously soooo funny! I laughed my butt off! So if you know anything about Twilight, you have to watch it! hehehehehehe

What happens when you don't Comment.

Well, that last post fell entirely flat.

I was firmly in denial thinking that somehow through space and time (I watched Lost again last night), it just hadn't gotten to anyone's computer, except for Wendy's. Or that there was a government take-over of my blog, sensitive information they didn't want leaked... but then... it hit me.

OOOoooohhhhhhh.... realization dawning.

No one wants the skinny chick to talk about food.

Right? Am I right? Its kind of a taboo thing, right? Well, how do you know that picture over there <------- isn't from like seven years ago? And photo shopped? Or even ME?! Does it really matter? Who cares! Skinny or fat, we all have to eat.

So, I thought I should let you know. Just in case. Some other taboo things I may or may not talk about at some point:

*government take-overs
*bathroom jokes
*your mom
*the macarena
*Dirty Dancing and how much I love it
*my mom
*hitting a kid with glasses (shockingly, not that hard to do)
*Twilight
*religious music
*boiling baby kittens
*Britney Spears

Okay, so now you know it. I'm controversial! You can either be apart of it, or fight the inevitable. You know you want to join in, loosen up and have a good time! So do it! :)

*If for some reason you just forgot to comment or didn't want to and none of this has anything to do with weight issues: I totally get it. In fact, I ASSUMED that. No hate mail okay? (why would I get hate mail? I don't know, now I've scared myself!) But we all know what 'assume' means, so I tried not to. And this is what you get, comment next time or it could get scary! hahahahahaha

p.s. I've promised myself that blogging is only going to be fun and I won't weigh (teehee) my self worth on how many comments I have or whatnot, so note the sarcasm. :) (meaning: I'm okay, I'm not upset, I still love you all!)

I Fought the Law and the Law WON

Hi, I'm the Tooth Fairy! Notice my nifty hairnet, the TAKE Program (Teeth Against Kids Everywhere) has raised their regulations and now I have Health Codes to follow.
If you want to get rid of those pesky teeth (who obviously want to be rid of your pesky children), just feed them lots of CHOCOLATE and CANDY! Don't worry, I will compensate you with measly change and laundered money.

When I first met Miss Fairy, and she explained to me what she was doing, I was a little weary but remembered hearing something somewhere of what she was speaking of. So I left her to her work and went back to more important business, but then a little bit later I stumbled upon this gruesome scene: (which looks oddly like poop pellets now?)

It seems as though the Tooth Fairy has a sweet tooth herself!! Wait, no let me explain! I was getting this candy for YOUR kids, you know to help with the losing of the teeth... OH really?! Well then how do you explain THIS:

Not quite so innocent NOW are you FairyPLUMPkins!? I don't know who that is I've never seen her before...

Oh whatever Fairy Poppins, get out of my sight--you disgust me!! And take your little mermaid friend too! You better find a better scam to steal my chocolate than a stupid teeth pulling scheme! Can't get things past ME--not when it comes to treatsies!

And that was the day I came face to face with--not one, but two--criminals... AND I WON!


(Well, I guess I should clarify so new people coming around here won't think I'm a total nut job--not that they'd be totally wrong...
So my grandma sent these dolls to my girls and they were SO EXCITED to get them out of the box!!! They tore those boxes up until they needed my help with all the twist ties and crap. When I got them out I noticed they had hairnets on. It totally hit my funny bone, just cracked me up! I kept imagining reasons a doll would need a hairnet, so I took some pictures. And so this is what you get out of it! I'm not totally crazy, I just have a wild imagination, and too much time on my hands...) :)
Submitted for "Very Funny Friday" at Navel Gazing at its Finest.