Make It Stop

I am a somewhat obsessive person. Or I have an addictive personality. Its like if there's something I like its ALL or nothing. If I have a new friend that I love I want to see them ALL the time. If there's an Italian Soda I like, I drink one every day. Until I realize I can't do that anymore.

Take blogging, I look at blogs ALL the time. I may not blog as often anymore but thats because my life sucks and is boring.

So anyway, the point is that I am wrapped up inside my own head ALL the time. I am constantly thinking about and obsessing over EVERY little thing. I can't turn my brain off for the life of me (or would that be the life of me if I did?) and sometimes it gets old. Sometimes I would like to just not care about every little thing. I would love to just stop thinking for five minutes. I'm telling you my mind is thinking about something and how I feel about it like every second of the day. I worry about my kids, I think about issues I'm having, could my baby be any cuter, what that person is wearing, how I shouldn't have yelled at my kids just then (yes, just now), what groceries do I need, why is this sweater so itchy, is my daughter okay at school without me, how I need to stop wasting so much time but really why since I have NOTHING TO DO ANYWAY, why is that person so annoying, why am I so annoying?!?!

It just never ends, and if it bothers me so much, it has to bug other people right? My constant analyzing and talking and sharing how I feel. It gets old right?

But you guys, I don't know how to stop! How do you stop your brain from thinking? How do you change the way you react to things when you've been reacting that way for like ever? I really honestly try so hard to let things go, not worry what other people are doing because who cares, and just be happy; but eventually I fall back into obsessing about everything.

Do you think they medicate for this sort of thing? Don't worry, I'll just be obsessing over here while I wait for your answers. :)

Heated Dreams

I was having the craziest dreams last night! CRAZY!

The most weird/vivid dream I had last night was that my baby's arm fell off. Yeah. It fell off. Minimal blood, it was just like detached. So we took the arm and we stuck it in a diaper (one we took off him, it was used yes), because that was going to preserve it until we could get it reattached. Then we got ready to take him to the hospital, when someone said maybe we should call an ambulance because they would be faster. So we did. And this all took place in a random, very small apartment. The paramedics came and we were all crammed in this apartment. And then it ended. Seriously. It was a weird dream.

Do you ever have dreams that while you're dreaming, you're thinking "this is a weird dream"? I was doing that last night.

Then the next dream I was eating lobster.

Then the next dream I was talking to Ree, the Pioneer Woman. (I love her a little bit.) And we were like best friends and she had a cage with all these sweet little puppies and we were talking about dogs and she thought I was the cutest little thing, so she picked me up and we ran around in a circle for a minute while she asked me what she should name her chihuahua. It was magical. Or maybe just weird, come to think of it.

I have weird dreams.

I think its this heat, its getting to me.

We need a fan.

Badly.

Do you guys have weird dreams? And do they stick with you all day? Because mine sure do. Do you have a fan I could borrow?

Guacamole...

So I have this little friend. Actually "friend" is the complete wrong word to use, more like horrible awful little menace. Yes, yes, thats more like it.

Awhile ago I noticed a big red bump on the side of my collar bone. I thought, "hmmmm, I don't remember that being there before...but I think its a mole that my son scratched...yeah, I think thats it." So I thought this red lump was a mole that was a little irritated. (Just to recap, if you didn't get that from my thoughts already.) So I was a good little Melinda, and left it alone. Until it didn't go away. A few weeks later and it was still there, same as the day I first saw it.

Now if you know me, I'm a zit popper. If you're not a zit popper you'll think I'm disgusting. But if you ARE a zit popper, you'll understand the self-restraint I had in those few weeks to not touch that thing. More in character would have been for me to mutilate that thing until it desired to never live again!!! So I got annoyed with the thing not going away and it looked like to me, less like a red mole, and more like a blood blister. And my thinking was that if there was blood in there, that it really wanted to come out. Right?! And then it could finally heal and go away.

So I took a needle and I popped it. And to not be completely graphic or whatever, it bled. A LOT. And I may have poked it a few (many, many) more times.

And now?

Well, now its angry.

I swear every time I look in the mirror its glaring at me, festering and irritated and threatening my family. I'm a little scared of it.

So my sister and I named it Paco. Except I don't think thats how you spell it, I think Guido is also very fitting. I don't know why, it just works.

What I really think honestly (now that I've left it alone and bothered it, I've come to this conclusion because I'm super smart...), is that with all these raging pregnant hormones that once I'm not pregnant it will go away. Really! I think its going to work...

Or else I'm going to have to go to drastic measures. Like actually seeking professional help.

On a few different levels...

Costco Carting

So I went to Costco yesterday. After I was done buying a huge box of diapers and eating some pizza with my kids, I left the supercenter and pushed the gigantic cart to my mom van, unloaded the goods, buckled the kids in and then there it was...

...the cart.

I usually try and park near one of the cart return things because I feel like a jerk leaving it in the middle of the parking area. But yesterday I was at Costco, and ya know, I just don't think they have cart return things anywhere in their parking lots...yeah, thats it.

So I put my cart in between my van and the car next to me, and felt like such a loser doing it, especially when this guy walked by and totally gave me the stink eye. But here's the deal, I feel like if I leave my kids in the car while I walk ALL the way over to return the cart that someone is going to either steal my kids or steal my van, or steal my groceries or steal my kids and groceries and my van all at once.

See! I can't return that cart! BAD things will happen!

And there's my dilemma. I think they should put a sensor or something on them and have them return automatically, how about that?!

So do you always return your cart?

CHEATER!

I love my husband--a lot!


Okay, I wanted to say that first thing, just to make it clear. I REALLY REALLY love him A LOT, got it?!


So, I have to admit something. I used...to...watch...


...OPRAH! I'm so ashamed!!


Now maybe some of you like Oprah, but for lots of different reasons I just don't care for her anymore. But I USED to, a lot. One day I turn on Harpo, and she was talking about cheating husbands. I've actually known quite a few people with a spouse that's cheated on them. So I'm a little paranoid anyway. On the episode, (and the people I've known) the spouse had NO IDEA there was any cheating going on. They talked about different signs and what to look for. Now, my spouse and I have talked about cheating a lot, it's one of those things that I just can't get past. God bless the people who can, they are much more forgiving than I am, but I just know I could never get over that. Anyway, once I've been hurt, I build walls. I'm not going to walk around all vulnerable to get hurt. I'm just protecting myself.



One of the ways I protect myself is to be untrusting.


It's not that I don't trust my husband, I just don't want to be one of those people that think it will never happen to them, just to be blindsided by it and fall into the resulting coma (because you know you go into a coma if you are cheated on, duh.).


The point? My husband all of a sudden changed his Facebook e-mail to a new one. It seems like to me, that if you put in a new e-mail you get a new account. But the old one's still there, so does he have some sort of secret account?! (Don't worry I'll be talking to him when he gets home tonight, for sure.)


So, I decide to play detective. And by detective, I decided I would just type in his name and see if another account showed up. And guess what ladies?! ANOTHER ACCOUNT DID SHOW UP!


I see his normal account right at the top of the search list, okay check. The next account says his name too, and the same place of where we live. That must be it right?! There's a picture of like four guys all buff with their shirts off, and I see the face on the middle guy is pasted on (I can't tell if it's my husband's face, because really those pictures are SMALL), and I'm like really nervous now! What if it IS his?! So I click on the account.


The info on the profile says he's looking for women, some of his interests and hobbies, all kinds of stupid crap. And I'm starting to get a little freaked out. So I click on the picture. PHEW! It's not him, it's some real other guy who lives in our area by the same name--ironic much?!


But I'm going to keep looking until I can talk to the man, because who actually comes up with a cheater account under their own name?! Sheesh, I'm not THAT dumb...

Do you have trust issues or is it just me?

Exclaim!

I was up tossing and turning all night (actually that was my son, I was just part of the awakeness), thinking about blogging and what I wanted to post about. Since it was 5:30 am, a lot of strange subjects came to mind: steak (YUM!), my last experience at the E.R., my busy schedule this week...And then one subject stuck out. Which I will share now. And you will read now.


Dear Exclamation Point,

I feel I must apologize to you. My blatant overuse is intolerable. You see, I'm a very excitable person and your punctuation seems the only way to go. Even when I speak aloud, I hear you in my voice, emphasizing what I want to convey. I'm sure you need a rest from the constant usage, but I have to be honest, I can't see this taming down anytime soon. Please forgive me for my obsession with you. Really, I think you rock. (!) Truly, I do.

With adoration,
Can't Stop With Excessive Exclamations

p.s. !!! !!! ! !! !! Phew, had to get those out!

Don't Freak Out!

Hey, if you're new around here thanks to Shelle, come on in and make yourselves comfortable. But not too comfortable because I'm out of here! Now stop that, you don't need to cry! It's gonna be okay, I promise! Because I'll be back tomorrow anyway. :D

I have a quick "thing" I gotta go to, but don't worry about me it's not like I'm sick or anything. Oh wait...I AM sick. I have a horrible cold right now. I hope I survive the night--or atleast I hope the people staying with me will survive, with me on cold pills. :D

Until tomorrow then, try to be okay. I told you, I PROMISE I'll come back. I know you can do this! BYE!

Ode to Blemishes

An Ode to Blemishes: A Tale of Pain and Suffering

Pimple, pimple on my cheek;
It's been an hour but feels like a week.
Every movement conveys your disapproval,
but all I want is your removal.


You fester, you ooze;
I think I need some booze.
I squeeze and I pop,
but the hurting just don't stop.

It's been awhile since I've had such a hurty,
I wonder if I'm just too dirty?
I shower daily, I swear I do,
Maybe I shouldn't be using that goo.

Every move I make, I feel the pain;
but in no way are you starting to wain!
Please leave me alone and just go away,
and really please for more than one day.

Kristina mentioned something about a boil,
but don't worry, I am still loyal.
I don't mind you have a blemish,
removing MINE is my only wish.

Why oh why did it have to be the cheek?
Every step makes me even more weak.
Laugh and point at the freak,
Who talks of zits on her butt cheek.

Was this a little too much info for ya? Naw, I didn't think so!

*p.s. I finished Miss Delacourt! It was so awesome, I will write a "formal" review later on--I promise! But I have to be honest, I thought this poem was hilarious until I started reading Miss Delacourt, and then I thought "I'm such a twit! A cad! A chit! Very not up to snuff!" Oh well, it's what I got.*

Cleaning Shpleaning

You know, as a wife and mother I have responsibilities, assignments--special duties, if you will. I try to take my charge with grace, poise and accountability. But sometimes, only every great once in awhiles's mind you, do I feel the weight of my obligations.


Oh, who am I kidding? My "obligations" are the equivalent of a ten-year old's chores!


I am a maid.


If I didn't have children, I don't think I'd mind the cleaning so much, but for the love of all that is holy, I cannot keep my house clean for two minutes. They follow me around in their tasmanian devil spin (emphasis on devil), reaking havoc all the way.

So here for your pleasure, is a list of my top five (top? maybe bottom would be better...) most useless, stupid, redundant, mind numbing chores in my opinion:



#5- Clipping the chicken's talons. I can't say it isn't lively, but you know they do have large talons.


#4- Lighting the candles at night. It gets dark, I know. But still, the monotony of it all.


#3- Braiding the horse's hair. Okay, I'm a hair girl myself, I learned to braid when I was quite little, but you have no idea how horrible the horse's are at staying still! The want to trot and giddy or whatever it is they do must be very strong.


#2- Official bottle warmer. It doesn't matter what I have going on, if the baby needs a bottle, I must warm it. The process being: either rubbing the bottle between my hands, or sitting on it. So drab.

#1- Patching toe holes. And it's ALWAYS the big toe! Well, sometimes it's the pinky...

Don't you hate those chores too?! I know, they're so degrading and stuff. Alright, alright, here's my real list (I know, I think I'm so funny! tee hee):

#5- Emptying the dishwasher. And I specifically mean the emptying part. I hate it because it means once its empty, it has to be loaded. I can't just stop at the emptying. It's like two chores rolled into one. Sucky.

#4- Folding laundry. Laundry in itself is a horrible, horrible thing. It's never ending! Atleast with cleaning the toilet, or mopping the floors, you're done with it until the next time it needs to be done. And even if thats the very next day, it's done when it's done. But laundry? NO. You get done with one load, there's another waiting to go. But the laundry itself isn't so bad, because as my mom says, you get to throw your clothes into the magic box and they come out clean. It's the folding part that takes so much time, and it's so doggone boring! Sure I could do it while watching my shows, but I don't have too many shows I watch, so what then?

#3- Taking out the garbage. Technically, this is my husband's job. But when the garbage is so full it's spilling out over the top all over the floor around it, I get the great pleasure of taking the trash out. I don't like it mostly because it's another thing I have to do, when my husband should do it.

#2- Making the bed. I mean, sure, I like having my bed made, but seriously who makes their bed?! You, I bet. Well, the only time I ever consistently make my bed is when I'm pregnant. Don't know why. I hate it because my morning's are frantic and limited, so to stop and make the bed is just not on my priority list and by the time I have a minute to do it, it's the middle of the afternoon and then, what's the point?

And the NUMBER ONE chore I think is the stupidest/most irritating?!

#1- Dusting. I loathe dusting. It's the one job I do that is completely useless. Maybe it's not as bad in other people's houses. But my house is over ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD. A hundred! So it gets pretty dusty. I try to dust, really I do, but all it does it move things around. I bought some Pledge junk the other day, hoping it would help. Nope, lots of dust the very next day. Stupid dust particles, you are the bain of my cleaning existence!! (lots of fist shaking here)

So, what part of cleaning do you think is the worst? It's the chicken talons isn't it?

Feeling WEIRD

Okay, I really have nothing to post about.

NOTHING.

I feel like I'm spiraling out of control into a deep, dark pit of despair. Or something like that. I'm not dramatic at all, no way!

This is like the weirdest week ever. Not really ever, but it is seriously weird. And not because of anything particularly, it's just different from normal and it's throwing me off.

There's no school, no getting up early to get Oldest ready. My boss is gone, so I have added responsibilities, which is find, just different! I'm not teaching preschool because its Spring Break!It's snowing right now! OUR BIRDS' HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

Yeah, see, its totally weird. Told you so.

You know what else is throwing me off?

FACEBOOK

I know I've posted about Facebook a few times already, but this is a little different. Okay, its not that different.

I'm really weirded out by all the people I knew in high school. Not that they're bad or mean or whatever, its just seeing them and talking to them pulls me back into those memories and I don't know about you, but high school brings back strong memories. And its a little painful for me. Or atleast it makes me feel self conscious, or weird. Or REALLY weird.

A girl I knew back then just posted pictures of me and her from our last year of Girls' Camp. Besides the fact that I look totally dumb, it just makes me feel....yup, you guessed it...WEIRD!

I'm feeling good that I have such an amazing grasp on my thoughts and emotions, and I think just being aware of how it makes me feel will get me through this. *shifty eyes*

I'm so glad I don't need a therapist...yet.


How do you guys feel when you see people from high school? Let's see, could it be: WEIRD?! I sure hope so.

Tag! You're IT!

Alrighty guys, I got tagged by Rachel at Trapped Between a Scream and a Hug. Go over there and check her out, she's great!
So here goes:

STEP 1: Respond and rework. Answer the following questions on my blog, replacing one question that I dislike with a question of my own invention.

STEP 2: Add one more question of my own.

STEP 3: Tag eight other bloggers.

1) What is your favorite day of the week? Frimaturday.
2) What is your biggest fear? funerals or going pee.
3) What was your worst subject in school? Math definitely.
4) Who did you hug last? Husband's family goodbye.
5) What websites do you visit when you go online? Facebook--but never myspace--and my blog list mostly.
6) What was the last item that you bought? Chick-Fil-A, we ate fast food ALL week.
7) If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? I would go to Italy, Greece, Mexico, Hawaii, New York, even Vegas again, SO MANY PLACES!
8) What is your favorite book? My all-time favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird. I also ADORE the Twilight books, and Anne of Green Gables and I love the Little House on the Prairie books, I really enjoy reading, anything from blogs down to conversation hearts! ;)
9) What was the longest car ride you ever took? From Washington down to Reno, down to San Diego, back up to Washington. It was a long drive! :)
10) What was the last movie you watched? P.S. I Love You--so cute and so sad!
11) If you had a whole day to yourself with no work, commitments, or interruptions, what would you do? Since this is a magical day indeed, I'm adding no money constraints either; so I would get a big group of girlfriends together and go to a spa, get our nails done, our eyebrows waxed, and pick out hot outfits and go do karaoke or dancing or something totally fun! So awesome!
12) If you were to win the Powerball, what would you do with the money (besides invest it)? Invest it?! HA I wouldn't do that anyway....I would rid the world of man leggings.
13) In your opinion, who is the most significant person in history and why? Jesus Christ. (How could I change that Rachel?!) :)
14) If you had a choice of places to live, where would it be? Washington, or paradise! :)
15)What's an item on your property you can't live without? Well, I don't own property, but I couldn't live without my family, everything else is all replaceable. Even though I would be REALLY sad without my clothes and shoes and jewelry. :( And I'd be really sad without our urinal/humidifier.
16) What are your hopes and dreams? To just always continue to improve, always work on being better, and that my kids will be happy and live good lives. :) Oh, and to be blog famous.

So now I'm tagging:
Anyone who wants to do it! :)
and
my sister. Kristie, do it or you're dead to me.

(Oh Rachel, sorry I didn't follow the rules very well, I didn't delete a question--I liked them all just fine--and I didn't tag eight other bloggers. I'm a rebel like that. Oooh, living on the edge! But of course apologetic about it. Thats why I'm passive aggressive <-----see #5)