Three Oh!

It's my husband's birthday this week. And its not just any birthday, its the big 3-0!

And you know what? I have thought of nothing to do for him. Nothing. Its not because I don't love him, or I don't think about him. I do, I definitely do. Its more like my life is so jam packed that if its not glaring at me TODAY, right now, this very second; then it gets shoved back until its right at the forefront and I HAVE to focus on it.

But now I feel really bad, what do I do?! What do I get him?!

Whats worse is he wanted to go to a movie that day and we can't even go because I have a staff meeting. Garbage I tell you, garbage.

So what kind of people are you? Are you big celebraters or do you not make a big deal out of birthdays?

And also help me out, what should I do for the guy?

To be or Not to be...Alone

My husband's been out of town since last Thursday. I know that doesn't seem like a very long time, but its felt like E-T-E-R-N-I-T-Y! (about how long it took me to type that <---- out)

Probably normally it wouldn't be so bad, but this last week was CRAZY busy and I hurt my back digging out an irrigation ditch (oh man did that suck!), so I had zero energy to get anything done while my husband was gone--ZERO.

I think I may have gotten a little depressed or something, since I ate donut holes and cookies and PB M&M's for breakfast yesterday, which started at noon. (You think I'm joking don't you?)

But I see the light at the end of the tunnel because the man is coming home tonight! YES! Not that that changes much, since he'll go back to work and I will as well, and it will be all crazy all the time, but hey, atleast he'll be home.

With lots of extra laundry he'll bring with him. And he'll expect me to make dinner (because I didn't all weekend, seriously) and he'll want a little back from a trip "attention", if ya know what I'm sayin'.

Dang, maybe I should've enjoyed the alone time a little more.

Oh you know Oscar Mayer has a way...

Why is it that food you thought was so fantastic when you were a kid is so disgusting now?

Like raisins, you know the ones in the little red box? We used to eat those all the time just for a snack, I wouldn't eat raisins now because chocolate is my snack of choice.

And hot dogs, I mean most people like a hot dog every once in awhile at a barbecue or something, but as a kid, hot dogs are like AWESOME! Not so much anymore.

Or american sliced cheese, yuck. Or corn dogs, similar to hot dogs yes, but seriously corn dogs. Or spaghetti-O's! Seriously disgusting people!!

And the ultimate nasty kid food I can't believe I ate:


BOLOGNA!


Have you eaten bologna lately? I work at a daycare, so I am a connoisseur of these nasty kid foods, most of them I can stomach, you get hungry enough and you will eat it. But bologna? Nope. I can't do it. I try, honestly every time bologna sandwiches come up on the menu I think, "Maybe this time it won't be that bad!" so I take a bite. And then I gag, and then I spit it out. Because GROSS! And what is that ring around the outside anyway?! Nevermind, I don't want to know.

What are some of the kid foods you loved that you can't stand now?

The only thing that is a kid favorite that never gets old is PIZZA, everybody loves PIZZA! :)

(After writing BOLOGNA so many times, I now have the Oscar Mayer song stuck in my head:

My bologna has a first name, its:
O-S-C-A-R

My bologna has a second name, its:
M-A-Y-E-R

Oh I love to eat it everyday, and
if you ask me why I'll saaaaaaaay,
'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way
with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!

Costco Carting

So I went to Costco yesterday. After I was done buying a huge box of diapers and eating some pizza with my kids, I left the supercenter and pushed the gigantic cart to my mom van, unloaded the goods, buckled the kids in and then there it was...

...the cart.

I usually try and park near one of the cart return things because I feel like a jerk leaving it in the middle of the parking area. But yesterday I was at Costco, and ya know, I just don't think they have cart return things anywhere in their parking lots...yeah, thats it.

So I put my cart in between my van and the car next to me, and felt like such a loser doing it, especially when this guy walked by and totally gave me the stink eye. But here's the deal, I feel like if I leave my kids in the car while I walk ALL the way over to return the cart that someone is going to either steal my kids or steal my van, or steal my groceries or steal my kids and groceries and my van all at once.

See! I can't return that cart! BAD things will happen!

And there's my dilemma. I think they should put a sensor or something on them and have them return automatically, how about that?!

So do you always return your cart?

Dear Stomach Flu,

I regret to inform you that I am no longer in need of your services. Well, to be honest, I don't regret that at all, especially since I never requested your services in the first place. But seriously, get out. Get far, far away from me and never return. I feel the need to give you some advice and I'm going to be brutally honest, alright? People don't like you. They don't like you because you make them puke like there's no tomorrow. Nobody likes that! If you don't change your ways, you will never have a single friend. Please change, I beg of you. And even if you don't change, atleast get away from me. You, my not so friend, are a disease. And I mean that in the most literal sense.

I hate you from the depths of my soul, in fact, I loathe you,

Pukey Pukerson


P.S. I hope you die a miserable, miserable death by...antibiotic or some such medicine.

Puke, and Periods and Play--OH MY!

I'm so excited guys! :)

Except I'm NOT excited too. :(

I'm excited because a group of my girlies are heading up to Park City for an overnighter, isn't that so super fun?! Yes I tell you, YES!

I'm NOT excited because Wednesday night I was up all night barfing, resulting in a full day yesterday of not being able to get up off the couch for more than two minutes. So I still don't feel quite recovered and I don't want to feel crappy on this get-away. Sad yes?

Plus I get the great intense pleasure of "riding the crimson wave" starting this morning on top of feeling like...well, we'll just say poop.

I need some magic medicine or something to get me feeling normal, I should invent that or something. Or maybe I'll just go take some tylenol and have a flippin' fantastic time tonight! Whoo!

Oh man...

I don't know why I do this to myself. I think deep down I must have this need to talk, to share my opinions. Maybe I was stifled as a child...right, that must be it.

When I'm reading a blog and it asks you something right there at the end, I think they really must be talking to ME and I must answer! Then something comes up where I wonder why...why did I answer?! It will only cause me sorrow and grief right? Its happened before and it just may happen again. Like today even.

I commented on a post over at Venus vs. Mars about sex! I KNOW! What was I thinking?! If any subject could be considered "touchy" that would be it, and there I go all spewing my opinions like the vomit no one wants to be around. Poo.

Oh well, it's out there. I just hope no one sends me hate mail. Hey, I know! Go over there and share your (very much agreed opinion with mine) and help me out okay?! Stand up for me if anyone is mean, make me feel like I'm not about to hurl! It will be awesome! You know you want to! Right?! PLEASE!! (How's that for pathetic begging? Not so great? I'm sure I could do better...NO? Okay, then just go over there already!)

Thanks guys, you're the best!

Popular Schmopular

What is it about cliques?

When I was in high school--just like any high school--there were the popular kids, the nerds, the goth, the average kids; you know: CLIQUES.

Did you guys like high school? I don't want to say I didn't. But I didn't. Sure there were lots of things I liked about high school, good experiences, etc. etc. What I didn't appreciate was having to be "cool" for people to be nice to you. I never fit in any sort of group. I had really nerdy friends, I had really popular friends, I knew kids who were jocks, my best friend was absolutely gorgeous; but I was not one of the popular kids.

And I so longed to be one of the popular kids. SOooooo longed for it.

Now that I'm "older" and much more "mature," I realize...WHO THE HECK CARES?! Being "popular" is very much overrated.

One of my Young Women asked me when girls grow up if it changes. I hated that I couldn't 100% positively say OF COURSE IT DOES! Because a lot of women don't change. And the catty, mean, back-biting crap doesn't stop. In fact, sometimes it gets worse. And I have to wonder, why?

This may be SO cliche but, "can't we all just get along?!"

Well, can't we? And now, share your thoughts, please.

Could they BE any more Annoying?! (voice by Chandler Bing)

People are annoying.

And I wonder...why are the annoying people so drawn to be so annoying right around me?! Garrrrrr, its frustrating.

And it really wouldn't be that bad (or atleast AS bad) except they catch me off guard and I have to react after they leave. Do you know how much that sucks?! And do you know how ridiculous I look stamping my foot, clapping my hand to my forehead, rolling my eyes, cursing under my breath all alone? Pretty stinkin' ridiculous.

But what's even worse, is when I gear up for a response (you know how it is, you play it all out in your head--"they're going to say this, and THIS is going to be the most awesome st comeback! YES! Finally!") and it's like they sense it and are all extra polite/sweet/careful/non-annoying/grrrrrrr and you lost feeling in your limbs for nothing (you know because of the adrenaline)! So frustrating.

You know what else is annoying? Mosquito bites. Possibly the most annoying things on this planet, although I may know a few people that could rival them.

Strike a Pose

I love America's Next Top Model. Love it.

The consequence of loving and watching so much ANTM though?

First off, your daughter will ask you to watch the "Hot Model Show".

You comply, and it leads to this:







The girl was working it.