True Friends

I've got some things on my mind and I'd like to talk about them. I don't think there's anyone reading this blog anymore and thats okay. Sometimes I just need to say exactly how I'm feeling and know its out there in the void, that maybe someone will read it and understand what I mean.

I read a stupid little whatever article about five ways to know if you have a true friend. It was basically fluff. Stuff like, they accept all your weird quirks and will tell you if you have a booger in your nose and stick around when you're going through hard stuff. And while I agree that those are nice things to have in a friend, I don't think those things make a TRUE friend.

I think a true friend is someone that can call you out on your crap. I don't mean they are mean to you, but when you're asking for real advice with a problem, they can gently and tactfully help you see your part in it too. I don't think a true friend just blindly agrees with everything you say. I think they might challenge your thinking, help you see other sides, grow and become better. I think a true friend is someone who will listen to anything you say and let you say it, but will also help you move past it. If they see you're doing harm to yourself or others will not just idly sit by and say its not their problem.

I think true friends resolve things. If your friend does something that hurts you, a true friend doesn't pull away and ignore them and avoid them, you work it out. And if the other person is a true friend, they will listen to you and say they're sorry and you will all move on. Instead of holding a grudge and staying angry and letting that drive a wedge between your friendship. True friends work on their problems.

True friends aren't play things to be tossed aside when things aren't convenient or easy or always fun. I know we hear this kind of thing a lot: if a friend takes anything from you are any sort of weight to you, they aren't worth it and you need to get rid of them. And sometimes that is true, and sometimes people are worth fighting for even when they aren't perfect. Because wouldn't you in your imperfections, want your friends to fight for you? True friends don't see the worst in each other and understand that people make mistakes, and usually aren't maliciously out to hurt you on purpose.

True friends are honest with each other, you can share your deepest fears or thoughts with a true friend and know that they will understand. Or even if they don't, they won't hold it against you. A true friend might get annoyed with you sometimes, but they can still see all the good things in you and know that you are worth all of it, even the annoying parts. ;)

True friendship is hard. True friendship takes work. True friendship is worth it because after you've been through all this hard work, you know you have a friend you will never give up on and will never give up on you. One that makes you better, that makes you laugh, that gets who you really are and will always be there for you--and that is priceless. How can something like that just be easy? It isn't, and maybe instead of skipping around from person to person always looking for whats easiest, we should invest in the people around us and try to understand where people are coming from. And maybe that person you thought was just another person, will become someone you can't live without.