And then I was CRUSHED

So I was over at Navel Gazing, (who I'm totally obsessed with) (which I think terrifies her...)(...or maybe I think too highly of myself that she even knows who I am?) and in honor of Valentine's Day, she's writing about some of her relationship mishaps.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone funnier or who has better stories than Sue about crushes or dating or relationships, she is hysterical (which she is in pretty much everything she writes--see = obsessed)! So, she invited bloggers to share some of their stories, and I thought about it and thought maybe I can come up with something somewhat funny too. Maybe.

After reading her first story about assuming she was getting a kiss, it reminded me of this kid I had the most hugest crush on in the whole wide world. I don't think anyone can top it. EVER. I met this boy in 7th grade, we sat next to each other in band class (Oooh! Band love). By the time 9th grade hit, we were actually pretty good friends and I was absolutely in obsession with him. We hung out with the same group of friends and since I had worked really hard to actually become somewhat cute that year, I thought he was starting to feel my vibe. So one day after school, I'm at my locker and he comes up to me (immediate flutters...I so love you) and grabs my hand and pulls me aside away from everyone (OH MY GOSH! HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME! HE'S TOTALLY GONNA ASK ME OUT!!!!!! BLIIIISSSS!! Black out inside my head), he looks really nervous and I have the most goofy, scared, blank look on my face while he tells me "I really like your best friend Erin, do you think she'd go out with me?" (Sound of a really big balloon losing all its air), I can't even remember how I answered him, but I was crushed--obviously.

This obsession went on and on and on. It was ridiculous to where he would act like he liked me and then get all mad and rude to me and not talk to me anymore. It was such a weird "relationship", I mean like he wrote in my yearbook at the end of 9th grade that he wasn't going to the big dance, but if he were he would've wanted to go with me. (! ! !) And then talked to me pretty much everyday on the phone that summer. You can't tell me that when you're in love with a kid that that wouldn't have kept the obsession alive. Then we went to the movies together with my friend and her boyfriend, and I'm like "Oh my gosh, we're freaking on a date together!!!" except a popular kid came up and talked to him while we were there and he acted all embarrassed to be seen with me and didn't talk to me for like 5 months after that. What a d-bag. (oh yeah, I said that.)

I could give you example after example where he would act like he liked me and then would get mad and stop talking to me. So dumb. The worst part is though, that its hard to stop obsessing over someone when you did it for six or so years, and every once in awhile I still have dreams about him. But the best part is, in these dreams its not about me being obsessed with him, its him chasing after me! (tee hee! *giggle* hahaha GFAW!! I'm sorry, it just tickles me so!)

Magic Chocolate?

I'm having a downer of a day. (So what else is new?)

I started out the day trying to do what I needed to do and then things crap it up and I'm slowly sinking down into eating more and more chocolate. Honestly, I eat so much chocolate. I got off the phone with a bill collector and my biggest urge (well, after crying) was to eat a chocolate donut. So I did. I ate the stinkin donut. Son has a poopy diaper, I eat some peanut butter cups. Daughter won't stop throwing fits, I snarf down some M&M's.

Its my coping method I suppose. Good thing I'm pregnant and am supposed to be fat, no one will know right?

The one thing that sucks is that the chocolate doesn't actually fix my problems (probably causing new ones huh?), why doesn't it do that? I thought chocolate had magical properties or something. I'm pretty sure I read in Harry Potter that chocolate will help you feel better after being attacked by Dementors or something...I think those bill collectors are much scarier than Dementors...can't I go after them with a wand and some chocolate?

And the worst part is I'm not even excited for our taxes anymore. It feels like every bit will just go towards stupid bills. And even though I know thats not true, its not even fun now to think of things I might could get. I just want the money to get here, pay things back, and not have to worry about whats in the mail or who's calling now or how I'm going to pay for diapers. Waah. Waah, waah, waaaah.

Whoever Said "Money Doesn't Buy Happiness" was Never Poor!

Since I've been married, my husband has always taken care of the bills. I mean, heck I was 18 when we got married, I wouldn't have trusted me either! But now that my husband is gone (are you getting sick of hearing that yet? Four more months of it, get used to it.), guess what? I have to take care of EVERYTHING.

There's a couple problems with this though.

I hate calling people. I don't even like calling most people I know, and now I have to call people in much more uncomfortable situations. As in calling about bills, or the stupid shirts we bought from my daughter's stupid school three months ago and they still haven't come. Not to mention the fact that there is no way I'm answering a number I don't recognize, and of course they never leave a message (not that I would call back anyway, but no message = no guilt for not answering.) Its been rough trying to push myself out of my comfort zone, really rough. Someone called today asking for my husband, I told them he wasn't here and if I could take a message. They said "oh, we'll just try and get him at home." and I said "He's at basic training in South Carolina." and the moron said "Ohhhhh, well...we'll just try him later at home." Can't say I was very polite when I started laughing and said "Alrighty then! BYE!"

The other thing I had to do was our income taxes. Boy was that a joy! I've never had to do them before, and thank the Lord for TurboTax because I would've been a big pile of goo by the end of the process without it. I do have to say though, the nice thing about doing the taxes and being the only adult around to decide how to spend it is pretty awesome. I'm so treating myself to something awesome when it gets here! I mean, after I pay back my mom and pay our bills and get the stuff we need that I've been holding out for...so something awesome after all that.

Oh February 12th you can't get here soon enough!

Crush--and Not the Soda Kind

So its been a week, one week since my husband left. And in that week I've been on a roller coaster of emotions, feeling fine to complete breakdowns. Blue's to red's. Its been a ride.

But I've gotten one overwhelming notion throughout this last week: I'm a teenage girl again.

I am obsessed with a boy. I feel the same as when I had my first boyfriend, where I couldn't get enough of him, where I would wait for his phone call and feel moody and sad when he didn't. And then elated and giggly when he did.

That is how I've felt this last week.

Seriously, its bad. I went to the grocery store, with two of my kids and my big belly looming ahead of me, you'd think that would snap me out of it, but no. I'm going down an aisle and what do I see? A bag of sunflower seeds. And the brand? "David." (Thats my husband's name if you didn't know.) And my heart fluttered and I felt sad and I missed him and I wanted to cry. Over SUNFLOWER SEEDS.

Do you remember the silly roller coaster ride of a crush? I'm right there baby. Right there. Hopefully it will pass soon and I'll be an adult again.

My Saturday, so far....dun dun dun

8:11 am- I'm woken up to a sort of rhythmic 'thump, thump' next door, which makes me roll my eyes and hate our neighbors just a little bit more. Whats worse is it dies down enough for me to start to fall back asleep before they pick things up again...this goes on for about half an hour. Me waking up by their noise, trying to fall back asleep and then eventually annoyed to all get out wondering why my life is full of cliche's. Everybody hears about if you live in an apartment, you're going to be woken by your neighbor's doing it, but it happens to me ALL the TIME. If we ever stay in a motel/hotel/whatever it is guaranteed that I'm going to hear thuds sometime in the middle of the night when I want to be sleeping. And I've come to the conclusion that these people are so loud because they WANT you to know they're doing it. It must be a sick kind of turn on or something, because I just don't know how you can make that much noise...

8:45 am- I finally drag my fat, achy body out of bed and wobble downstairs. Eat some Reese's Puffs (yum...) and go back upstairs to shower. My 20 month boy usually showers with me because there ain't no way I'm letting him roam the house alone and most likely catch something on fire. He's gotten in the habit of calling my boobs "yucky", because he tried to grab at me last week and I said "yucky! No touching!" Do you think I've scarred him? Yeah right, that gene is too deeply ingrained...

9:30 am- I check my e-mail and facebook and get stuck on what to put as my status. I type something out, find it incredibly stupid and erase it. Do this five or so more times and come up with something generic and safe and boring...

10:14 am- Have to PEE!! Run to the bathroom and sit down only to discover that the last little tushie that sat here dribbled on the seat and I've now sat in it. Oh the joy's of parenthood. Hey, atleast they're potty trained and I don't have to change another stinkin diaper...

11:45 am- It hits! Every child within a hundred mile radius wants a snack--RIGHT NOW! They're all demanding: I want this, I want that, NOW NOW NOW! And of course they all want different things. My son wants fruit snacks, which he isn't getting because he just chews them up and spits them on the floor. But everything I point to he says in a very firm "NO!" until I just pick something and hand it to him. He throws himself on the floor, kicking and saying "NO! NO!" until he looks at it and takes it anyway...

noon- I'm ready to go back to bed...

What I Meant to Say

Today is Wednesday, which means Chief is doing her "What I Meant to Say" Meme.





Let's see if I can come up with any...hmmmm...


To my children, when I say: "HURRY UP!!!"

I don't mean: "Sit there and move as slowly as possible, stare off into space or watch some more tv! Please I love it so much!"

I mean:"MOVE YOUR BUTTS BEFORE I GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO YOU TO PULL YOUR HAIR!"

(Aren't my kids lucky?)



When I said: "I'll think about it and let you know."

I didn't mean: "Please, please please keep hastling me about it and insisting until I give in. Its what I want oh so bad!"

I meant: "Get the crap away from me, I don't want to do that. And the more you ask and insist, the more I want to hurt you."



These paint me in such a great light don't they...I bet you guys are glad you only have to deal with me on here instead of real life huh? I'm actually really nice, I swear!

A Montage of Posts

So today is my first taste of having no husband. He left last night for weekend duty and will be back tonight, then he leaves tomorrow for good. Well, not for good but until June. So how have I used my time today? Well, I started out cleaning our bedroom, doing laundry, cleaning the bathrooms and organizing stuff. Then I got tired and I've been sitting here for the last couple hours eating chocolate and watching tv and surfing the internet. Bah.

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I figured out how to get compliments on how you look. Don't wear makeup for a couple weeks, and then when you want to get noticed: put some makeup on! The compliments come pouring in, its amazing!

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I need to brush my teeth.

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But I did shower today. Yay!

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We still haven't decided on a name for this baby. It is driving me crazy! We had a really hard time with the last one too, almost up to when he was born before we finally figured out what we wanted to name him. But this time I really wanted to have it done before my husband left since I'm not sure how often I'm going to get to talk to him before the baby's even born. Do you think he'll be mad if I just choose my favorite, since he hasn't come up with anything?

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I've been watching too many decorating shows. I have a really bad itch to decorate! Hopefully soon, I can get some of these ideas out of my head and they'll turn out amaaaaazing!

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I figured out that I have an opinion about EVERYTHING. And I wish I didn't. I wish I could see a person walking down the street and not have to think about what they're doing or wearing or whatever. Why won't my brain turn off?

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My son is a biter. He keeps biting or pushing or smacking other kids, (and sometimes adults--I know! Its horrible!) and I don't know how to stop it! I mean honestly, every kid goes through a hitting stage, but my girls were waaaay easier to break. He just doesn't seem to get it--it doesn't matter if we tell him no, if we show him how to be touch nicely, if we talk to him about it, if we yell and scream, if we bit him back. He. does. not. get. it. Have any of you had this problem with your kids? What worked for you? Do I need to buy him a Hannibal Lector mask or what?

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We went and saw "Avatar" the other day, as our sort of last hazah! before husband leaves, it would've been completely amazing except my husband got motion sickness watching it! Isn't that so cruddy?! But I really did enjoy the movie so much, can't wait for it to come out and watch it again...the only thing is, I'm a little concerned about myself. Is it normal for me to be attracted to the big blue cat like people?! Because I think the guy was hot. Seriously.

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Okay, okay, I know this went on way too long, but thanks for letting me get all that off my chest! Next post hopefully will not be about me spending the next two weeks curled up in the fetal position missing my husband. Keep your fingers crossed! (Actually, I KNOW the next post won't be about that, because trying to picture myself in the fetal position is pretty hilarious, since I have a nice big belly in the way of doing that...maybe I'll spend the next two weeks in a semi-curled position, or hiding in a closet. A big closet.)