Wednesday, May 7, 2014

I'm a Realist Gosh Darn It!

So uh...I recently discovered GOMI. Have you guys been there?? Do you know what Get Off My Internets is?

Basically its a site dedicated to snarking and complaining about all the big blogs out there and what you don't like about them. I got turned on to it through NieNie Dialogues instagram account, she had some fluke with her name being changed and people were going CRAZY about it and then there was a fake instagram account that was making fun of her and it was horrible and pretty hilarious at the same time...because I'm sort of a bad person.

See, if you're a really positive person, who only sees the best in people, who always looks at the bright side, who never complains or gossips or is negative: you won't get this.

I wouldn't say I'm a positive person, but I also wouldn't say I'm a negative person either. I would describe myself as a realist.

Let me explain more: I grew up with a mother who HATES dishonesty. I don't care for dishonesty much myself but I feel like this emphasis on honesty in my young life and growing up, put me in a position to feel like when you pretend someone is nicer than they are, its a lie and I don't like it. Does that make sense? Have you ever had someone say something flat out rude to you, and you KNOW exactly what they meant, but when you tell someone about it they're all like "Oh I'm sure they just meant this, or they were meaning it in this way!" And in your head, you're just like "no, they weren't. They were being rude and we all know it."

I'm not saying I don't want to see the good in people, I'm not saying I don't WANT to be more positive, but I feel like I just don't want to delude myself about people's intentions and by doing that get hurt by them because I refused to see that they weren't a nice person and now they've done something horrible. Really am I making any sense??

Anyway, the point of all this is (there probably isn't a point but...) sometimes I really do just want to snark on people. Because people do things that are annoying and sometimes you just want to feel validated that you're not the only one who feels this way. So when I started reading GOMI (for the most part) I was like I SO GET THESE PEOPLE!! (disclaimer: there are definitely people who take things too far and are much too nit picky and I don't agree with them, I just get the need to talk about things that annoy you without feeling like a completely horrible person.)

I also want to say something about blogs and people's blog personalities. I hope everyone realizes that what you are seeing on a blog is NOT that real person. I lay things out here and they are honest to me, but still it is only a slice of who I am, and sometimes not the slice I always want people in real life to see... ;) So while you MIGHT be reading a blog of someone who you THINK is genuine, odds are: not really. I have friends that I know very well in real life and their blogs are a very much put together display of what they want people to see. There are things on their blogs that are so opposite of what they say and do in real life it astonishes me that they don't feel fraudulent. But they don't see it that way, they see what they want to see and they put out there what they think their lives are like.

So I guess I feel a little less bad complaining about a person who's not even completely "real"-- just an image of what they want to put out there...but I still feel kind of guilty...I'm complicated.

Anyway, if you have tons of time to go through all the forums and find the blogs you like to read and sometimes love to hate and read some of the hilarious things people think of them, I won't judge you since I've spent a ridiculously amount of time on there...its kind of addicting...

But really, how do you feel about this kind of thing? Are you the forever optimist? Are you super negative? Or do you think you're just being real?? And can the optimist, pessimist and realist get along??


  1. hi Melinda ! i didn't know GOMI and i think it's impertinent , sassy and it helps us to "put every thing in place " as we say in France !! we are only humans with all our goodness and our flaws , i don' t feel guilty of my feelings about blogs ; people know exactly what they do writing to the web and to the world ! have a good day !!

  2. Sometimes though, I think being a realist is just an excuse to be overly snarky. Discounting everything that has some meaning to another person. So what if their blogs are completely different than one you know in real life. Perhaps it's a safe place to be the person they *want* to be. Nothing wrong with that as long as it's not causing nuclear bombs to go off. Just a thought.

    1. I don't use anything as an excuse to act a certain way, thanks though, although I'm sure you can describe lots of people who use things as excuses to act certain ways. I actually care a lot about people and their feelings. But that doesn't mean I can't call a spade a spade. In fact, I wish MORE people would just lay things out and be HONEST instead of playing games and always trying to be something they're not. I know lots of people who are negative and they know it and everyone knows it and they own it. Cool. I also know lots of people who are negative and everyone knows it and they would be astonished to be described that way. *shrug* I would rather tell you straight up what everyone in the room is thinking, but all in good humor and not mean spirited. Thats my preference, it doesn't have to be yours, but I'm still gonna notice it.
      So what if their blogs are completely different than real life?? So what? Why have a blog then? It's a made up story, its not real, its not just sugar coated, its completely false. When someone says they love their mother in law so much on their blog but every time you talk to them its on and on about how much they hate them, isn't that frustrating to you?? Sometimes, I just want to call people out, but I don't because you're right, its not causing nuclear bombs to go off and doesn't REALLY matter. I *know* that. So thats when I call my sister and we discuss it so I can get it off my chest and still be friends with these people (thats what that site is like to me). If you're not the type of person who is slightly obsessive and has a hard time letting things go (no matter how much you want to and try), then I guess you wouldn't know what thats like, I don't know how to explain it. My husband doesn't let people get to him, just lets it go and moves on and I WISH to all get out that I could be that way, but I'm not, even though I work on it the best way I can. Not using that as an excuse, just being real. ;)

  3. Honesty is the most important thing in life. I like your ruminating on this topic! You are right in many mane aspects!


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