Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Its a Wonderful Day in the Neighborhood


Is been awhile.

I'm going for a record of starting each blog post apologizing for not blogging enough, so you know.

I just haven't felt like I've had anything to share lately. I've been doing stuff here and there, I've got stuff going on but I haven't felt like blogging really. Whats got me here then, compelling me to blog?

Nothing like barf to get your "juices flowing". (Wow. That was so gross, the visual I gave myself with that!)

Anyway, the barf thing. I went outside yesterday morning to throw something in the recycle can, and there on my front porch (that I share with the neighbors, as their house is attached to my house) was barf. Someone had thrown up all over the porch and then they had. left. it. there.

I was mortified. I was disgusted. I was shocked.

I went back out a little bit later to get my mail. Still there.

Pick my daughter up from school.


At this point, my mind is completely blown.

I mean, I shouldn't be too shocked right? These are the people that smoke like its the sixties, put their trash in MY trash can, throw parties every weekend until the wee hours of the morning, have who knows how many people living there, have a huge white poodle that growls at my kids, and conveniently wake me up every Friday night at 2:30 for a reason I'd rather not share. But BARF?! I just don't get it.

Who seriously barfs all over in front of their own front door and leaves it there?! I even heard the kids come home from school, walk past it, and still NOTHING HAPPENED. Here's the problem (you know BESIDES that there's a bunch of barf outside my door), my daughter was going to go to a friend's after school, and then her mom was going to drop her off. On MY front porch. That porch, the one with the BARF EVERYWHERE. So when my husband got home from work yesterday at 5 PM (he said the barf was there when he left for work at 6 am), I made him go out there and spray it off.

Because apparently not only are our neighbors rude and inconsiderate, they're also incredibly disgusting and unsanitary.

It boggles the mind, it does. Good thing we're going to move. As soon as we find a place to live. And then pack EVERYTHING up (by myself most likely). Bah.

Do you have neighbors that drive you crazy?


  1. Yes. My neighbors have tried the modest route and are no longer naked, or having sex, in front of their open windows. I mean, terrible, right?

  2. There is a long list of reasons why I want my own house...and crummy neighbors is definitely one of the tops reasons! (Especially neighbors that smoke...that is my NUMBER ONE pet peeve. I really cannot express how much I hate cigarette the park, in front of the grocery store, wafting in through my screen door. I HATE it.) Anyway, I hope you find a new place soon!

  3. No wonder you are so tired! How in the world do you ever get any sleep? Now your whole creepy night story with your sliding door takes on a whole new meaning! Run. Move. Pack up and get out of there!

    Seriously... I hope you can move soon. Neighbors like that would be enough to cause me to commit a crime that would put me away for a LONG LONG time.

  4. Yeah, I do that all the time. I pick a random neighbor, eat a large meal, go over to their house and puke on their doorstep. And then I hide behind a bush and wait to see their reaction. Totally normal.

  5. I have neighbors that are just the opposite! They have a beautiful yard and are outside maintaing it 24 hours a day. Doesn't sound bad, right?!

    They nitpick EVERYONE else's yard. They complain about a stray piece of garbage or trees they don't like. They leave horribly mean letters. They call the police. They confront everyone about everything. I'm pretty sure if they were living in your house right now your next door neighbors would already been in jail for "public vomitation." For real. They are awful and it makes living here a joke sometimes.

  6. Oh yes yes, I have had my share of barf neighbors over the years. Living in the country is so nice, as NO neighbors to irritate you. (but on the down side, NO neighbors to talk to)
    I would have totally got the dry heaves trying to clean that up.....let alone just look at it.

  7. You need to make some fake puke and dump it right in front of their door. Here's a fake vomit recipe I just made up:

    Pour two cups of water and one cup of milk in a mixing bowl. Add two slices of wheat bread and let it sit for 2 minutes. Then stir until it's nice and disolved and sludgey. Add 1/4 cup of canned diced carrots, one drop of pink food dye, 1/4 cup of cooked noodles coursely chopped. Stir until nastly looking. Set out in the sun for 4 hours on a warm day.

    Now it's ready to dump on the porch! The great thing about this recipe is you can play with it and make it your own. Get creative!

    Is that helpful? :-)

  8. wow - those are some rude a$$ neighbors. I'd move too; our neighbors were a pain but now there is an 8 ft tall fence between us :D

  9. I've seen it all, neighbor-wise. Except for barf. You're special.

  10. Gross!

    I had some partying kid neighbors at one point. I had a conversation in which I told them that the next time they partied that I'd be over with pamphlets. AA pamphlets. Church pamphlets. I'd share the glorious promise of freedom from addiction, death and hell with them and their friends. I'd make absolutely certain they had the world's most uncomfortable party. (At some point in their past they'd been members.) Very, very effective. The parties happened elsewhere from that point on. I would have done it but I am glad I didn't have to.


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