Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Have You Ever Felt Like That?

You know when you get new toothpaste and you're just not feeling it? We just got some Crest with SCOPE! and I just don't think I like it. Because well, I don't like the taste. And I don't feel like it gets my teeth as clean as our last toothpaste.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I don't like that.

You know when you're sitting there with a friend chatting and they suddenly interrupt what you've been talking about to point out something weird about your face? Like the other day, my friend pointed out how one of my teeth is fairly small (she works for a dentist, so I get why she might notice these things). And you know when its okay that they asked it, except you hadn't ever thought that your tooth was weird and now you have just discovered something else not to like about your face?

Do you know? Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I don't like that.

And do you know when your husband says he's going to switch the laundry over, but when you go to look for some nice clean underwear in the dryer, its not there, because your husband never really did switch the laundry over? And then do you know when you go to get the very large pile of laundry, you drop a piece, and when you pick it up, you drop about five more pieces, and when you pick those up, you drop a couple more pieces, and you spend about five minutes finally getting it because you refuse to just make two trips?

You know THAT right?

Yeah, I don't like that.

And you know when you get a pimple on your nose, how badly it makes you feel like you're in junior high? And then you walk around feeling young and silly and naive and thinking about junior high and all the stupid boys you loved, and how stupid you were and cringe at all the dumb things you did and said?

I hope you don't know what I mean.

Yeah, I don't like that.

And you know when your son won't keep his hands out of diaper for less than five minutes out of the entire day, which causes him to pee all over the place out the side of his diaper? And he starts spitting at you every time you tell him to get his hands out of his diaper? And then when you tell him to not spit, he laughs at you like you're just the funniest thing in the whole world? And you have dreams at night that your sweet baby is going to grow up as a big jerky pervert and you worry constantly how to fix this problem?

Please tell me you get that guys!

Yeah, I really don't like that.

And you know when you haven't posted on your blog for so long that when you finally hit "new post" it sends you to some new fangled place thats totally different from the last time you blogged and you're confused and then feel guilty you haven't blogged in like two months?

You probably don't know what that feels like, because you're all good bloggers right?

But yeah, I don't like that.

And you know when you're scared you're going through menopause and it really freaks you out because holy crap you're way too young to go through menopause?! And you have no energy, and feel emotional and crazy all day long? And you can barely drag yourself to do anything besides mindlessly stare at pinterest or facebook? And it seems like no matter how much sleep you get, you're still dead all day long? And you wake up and its freaking snowing outside? And you really need to go to the grocery store, but who wants to do that anyway? And you have no patience for anyone and everyone and then you have no patience with yourself because there's no one left to be impatient with?!?!

Yeah, you're right, I don't know what you're talking about...


  1. If I had a friend point out a weirdness on my face mid-sentence, I'd smack her.

    On another note. My tooth, the exact same one you have circled, is dead. Super dead with a root canal and all kinds of problems so it's three shades darker than all my other teeth so when I get a picture taken it looks wonky and stupid and I photoshop it every single time.

    Yeah, I don't like that.

  2. Yeah. I know. On all of the above! :)

  3. ha ha. Glad you're back. that last one sounds more like pregnancy than menopause. Except there wasn't blogging or pintrest when I was pregnant, so I don't know about that. I know how it feels to be old now though.

  4. Your post after two months is way cooler than mine. My favorite is where I can SEE my new zit in my peripheral vision, on my nose. Awesome.

  5. We dislike so e of the same things, only I really might be going through some premenopausal junk. Boo!

  6. ha ha...that was so funny. and YES I have missed your blog posts.
    I don't Like That.

    your last paragraph had me laughing a lot....cause oh yeah, been there DOING that.
    and the dropping laundry all over...I think we can all relate there.

    I've missed ya.

  7. I love this post! Hahahaha!

    I always use Colgate Total. Its the only one that I think does the job. And when I am forced into using a different one, because my husband bought a different kind or something, I always feel disappointed in the different kind. COLGATE TOTAL. They should give me some money for that free advertising I just gave them.


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