Monday, October 19, 2009

Deep Thoughts...

So sorry I haven't been around, I feel like I'm running around with my head chopped off, but things are starting to come together. Doesn't moving suck?! I really hope the next time we move someone else will do all the work. Here's hoping.

So even though I really shouldn't be wasting time, I did wanted to blog for a minute about friends and how that all works when you're moving. This was just something I noticed the last week or so, you let me know if this has been your experience too. So I think there are two kinds of friends when you're moving away, the friend that takes every chance they can to spend time with you before you have to go and the friend that totally drops you because you're gonna be gone soon anyway. Its interesting, and I totally understand both sides of it. The friend that just lets go as soon as they know you're leaving, I think, does it out of a sort of self-protection. It hurts to have the friend leave so instead of spending time together thinking about how much you're going to miss them, you just separate yourself from them so its easier. Do you think thats right? Or are they just not a real friend and don't really care you're leaving?

Its been really funny for me to see though, its probably easier for me because I get to go back home where I have plenty of family and friends I look forward to seeing; so it doesn't hurt that much. But still some people surprise me with their reaction. You know whats sad though? Really thinking about it, I would probably be more of a "separator" friend. Good thing to think about.

So what do you think? What kind of friend would you be, and have you had this experience?


  1. I've definitely had this experience with friends moving away, and I've always been the friend who stays in touch and makes sure they are doing OK.

  2. I have inadvertently been the separator friend. My hubs reformatted our computer hard drive after we moved home from Oregon and as a result I lost touch with everyone I knew there- not that I left a lot of good friends behind.

  3. I think I have been both in the past. It really depends on the friend. Ironically, the people that I'm closest to I tend to spend every last minute with. But the ones that I'm not that close to I tend to back off. Ironic, isn't it?

  4. I've done both. It is an interesting observation. I'm a not a phone person so I rely on emails and fb and blogs to keep in touch with friends that have moved on. Friends that are in the process of moving, I think sadly it depends on whats happening at the moment in my life. I knwo I'd like to help out but if it's a stressful week I can see myself making excuses.

  5. They just didn't want to help you pack...

  6. You are insightful. I've experienced both but have never put it into words before.

    I'm more of a friend-holder-on type of person. When i have a friend, it's the real deal. I go to all lengths to still keep in touch, too, even years later.

    I've done a lot of head scratching over time with people I thought were friends who've acted more casual about what I thought was really a friendship. It has been heartbreaking, but I've learned a lot, too.

    Or maybe I'm just a sap. Or a clueless socialite. Or just a friend.

  7. So, where'd ya move to? (I am the kind who helps them pack and spends as much time with them before they go--but once they're gone, I rarely keep in touch unless they're my bestest friends. Blogging makes it a whole lot easier. See, you moved, and I'm still here.) (buffing my nails on my sleeve . . .)

  8. I am with Heidi ---did I miss you telling us WHERE you are moving too and why.
    I would spend every second with a friend I knew was moving away. Then I'd cry my eyes out. But I would want to BE with them.
    I have learned some lessons myself about "friends" over my move and recent "life" decisions. OMG --I hope to never have to go through that again. It is very very hurtful to find that those you thought were your friends ---for 25 years -------were more eager to Judge and well, not be much of a friend at all.
    I think YOU are the type of person who will have friends no matter where you go.


I'm mysteriously judging whether or not you're going to comment or know you want to.