Life Problems

I was at the beauty supply store Saturday evening, like most stores they play music for everyone to hear. I was browsing the hair color when "Another One Bites the Dust" came on. I was most likely singing along.

Just around the corner from me a couple of the gals who work there were trying to figure out who sings the song.

"Is it Michael Jackson?"

"No, I don't think its Michael Jackson."

The words promptly burst from my mouth: "ITS QUEEN."

"Oh yeah, its Queen."

"Yeah I didn't think it sounded anything like Michael Jackson...blah blah blah...I'm an idiot." (I may have added that last bit. Maybe.)

I mean, I knew our country was bad off but I didn't know it was THAT bad! I just don't know if I can live in a world where people don't appreciate Queen...    *sob*

Validation is a Two-Edged Sword

I like validation. Validation is important, not just to me but for most people. I took a relationship class once at BYU Education Week and they said the key to good communication was: validate, validate, validate! I don't know why, but I *need* people to understand where I'm coming from and what I feel. I just do.

BUT sometimes validation is not a good thing. For example, when we lived in Utah we lived in my husband's grandpa's very old house. It was a tiny house, built in 1904, it had two bedrooms and one teeny tiny bathroom. With brown carpet. And what I mean by that is nasty brown carpet IN the bathroom. Don't worry, eventually we got rid of the carpet, but I remember having a conversation with two of my cousins: one was saying that she thought I'd done such a cute job on our little house (it was pretty gross when we moved in, the person living there before us was a bachelor and smoked), and I was saying something like how much I hated that little bathroom. The one cousin said "Oh no, its just fine! You've made it so cute!" and the other cousin started laughing and said "Yeah, not my favorite bathroom! hahaha!" And I remember thinking, yeah I know I just said I hated it but I didn't want you to agree with me. *big tear drop, sad face* (side note: I LOVE that cousin, and I get she wasn't trying to be mean, I get where she's coming from too, it still hurt though.)

So in some instances validating people is not a good thing. I hate it when you admit to something, you've already acknowledged it and someones like "You really DO do that!" Thanks, yup, already aware.

So, here's a list I thought of that you should NEVER validate someone on:

*"I always look so fat in this shirt."

*"I know I sound selfish, but..."

*"I'm really bad at..."

*"I'm a bad parent."

*"I struggle with..."

*"I'm not very nice."

*"I'm ugly."

*"I hate my hair."

*"I know this is silly to be upset over but..."

*"I have issues with..."

*"My teeth are yellow."

*"My nose looks like a rats."

*"I have muffin top."

*"I need to lose weight."

*"My husband's a jerk."

*"My kids are naughty."

*"I know I sound crazy, but bobby pins are important to me..."

Please, don't agree with someone on these kind of statements. You are not doing anyone a favor, you are not "helping" them be a better person. Usually someone says those kinds of things for you to tell them that its not true and they really are a great person. So, unless you are that person's sister and they are really truly asking you for advice, then just don't do it.

Don't. Do. It.

Adventures in... What Was That Word Again?

When you can't sleep at night, a lot of things go through your mind:

1. Go to sleep, go to sleep. GO TO SLEEP. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY LET ME SLEEP!!

2. Then you might get your ipod and look at every single Facebook status update and read each comment and look at every picture you can possibly find.

3. Sure that was boring, but not enough to put you to sleep.

4. You *think* about going downstairs and getting on the computer but no matter how bored you are, there isn't any way you would go sit in the freezing, scary downstairs where a murderer is probably waiting for you.

5. Whats that word for when you can't sleep?? Narcotic...omnipotent...aahh...ihhh something?

6. Did we have something garlicky for dinner? Why does my stomach feel so upset?!

7. Pass gas.

8. Oh yeah, we had CHILI for dinner. Duh.

9. Realize you are an idiot for staying up past midnight every night for the last two weeks. You'd think that it would make it easy to fall asleep earlier than normal since you've been exhausted. But no. Your body's all "Ha ha! Its not midnight yet, you can't sleep!!"

10. You check the clock every couple minutes. Nope, not asleep yet.

11. "I'm sexy and I know it..." replays over and over in your head.

12. Impotent...Armania...incontinence...

13. Start to finally doze.

14. Your husband rolls over and throws his big fat, heavy, hairy, fat arm on your back and startles you back awake.

15. Curse the day you ever got married.

16. Armoire? Insipid? Start to doze again.

16. Your baby wakes up crying.

17. Curse the day you ever had children.

18. Get baby and bring them back to your bed, hoping to get some sleep.

19. Baby coughs in your face every few minutes.

20. Punch yourself in the face so you can finally sleep.

21. Oh yeah: Insomnia!

Because I Just Can't Let This Go

Okay People.

I will be honest with you. I can admit that I have a somewhat obsessive personality. Sometimes its just whatever, and sometimes its really hard to deal with. Something gets under my skin and it just itches and itches and ITCHES until--I don't know--I've scratched it until it bleeds? (Thats metaphorical. I don't actually scratch an itch until it bleeds. Usually.)

So I've talked before of the addictive qualities of Pinterest. One of the things I've seen repinned quite a few times is this one lady's hairstyles. So I clicked on the link and started browsing through her hair blog. When I came upon this post.

Let me just preface this by saying, NO I am not a professional hair stylist. So YES, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut-- BUT I can't. In my defense I've been using bobby pins for a LONG time. I've done countless prom hairstyles, I've done people's hair for fun events, weddings--for both bridesmaids and BRIDES. I DO know something about hair and bobby pins whether I went to school for it or not (besides I'm POSITIVE there is not a section on the correct side of bobby pins...).

ANYWAY, if you didn't read the post, she says the the CORRECT way to wear bobby pins is the wavy side down. Where she came up with that is beyond me. Look at the package, the wavy side is UP. Why would they put it that way if it wasn't supposed to go that way in the first place? There is a little thing on the end of the wavy side that sticks up, why would you stick that into your head? It works to stick your thumbnail under that thing and open the pin up, you couldn't do it the other way. If you look at any product that has something stuck to a bobby pin, its on the WAVY side. Indicating that that is the RIGHT SIDE UP.

GRRRRR.

Okay. So now, IF she had said "Hey peeps, do you have a hard time keeping a bobby pin from sliding out your hair?! Guess what?! Put it in upside down and it works so much better at staying put! Awesome huh?!" I would have been like: cool beans.

Its just the fact that she said its SUPPOSED to go that way, it was MADE to go wavy down. Then I start reading the comments, SURE that someone was going to say, UM NO. And of course not, there are hundreds of people with their "minds blown they've been doing it wrong their WHOLE life!!!" and I don't know why it bothers me but it SO DOES.

So I left a comment. Just basically saying what I told you in a much shorter version, like: just needed to say, bobby pins really *are* meant to be zigzag side up, if you'd meant it as a tip to help people I would think thats great but it bothers me to say its wrong to put them in the other way...kind of thing.

And she left a comment back, saying in her professional experience everyone who does hair does it zigzag down and it works so much better, but keep doing it the way I feel like...

Uhhh...okay?

And so I went and looked at pictures of people with their hair done up where you can see the bobby pin, and you know what?! I COULDN'T FIND ONE where it wasn't zigzag side up. Huh. Interesting. (This is from Goody's website and this one too...AND also there's this...and I may have possibly looked up more...)

And so I replied again. Saying that it wasn't about what works better, it was about the wording of which way was actually correct. I also told her I thought she did great hair and I thought it was great she shared tutorials on how to do hair--because I'm not a total jerk.

So please, PLEASE validate me. Not whether or not it works better either way but do you think Goody made bobby pins to go zigzag side up in your hair or zigzag side down? (I don't trust big blog mindless readers who will comment on every stinking post with "I LOVE IT! THATS THE MOST BRILLIANT THING I'VE EVER SEEN!"even if its the stupidest thing I've ever read in my life, just because that blog is popular and they want them to like them. I DO trust you guys, who are awesome and honest. So do the right thing and tell me I am actually correct and she's a big fat doodie head.) ;)

Also, yes I know this is incredibly pathetic and ridiculous. I KNOW. But like I said, I can't stop scratching until it bleeds, so this is what I have to do to feel better, alright? help me.