Monday, December 12, 2011

Sometimes This is How I Feel

*shuffles in, peaks around the corner, bows head*

Hey guys...

Just a few random things to let you know that yes, I am in fact still alive. I'm freaking out about getting the homemade Christmas gifts I planned, actually out of the planning stage and done. And by freaking out, I mean watching every episode of The Vampire Diaries I can squeeze into my day. And sometimes The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The two shows are surprisingly alike, just based on drama. And sucking the life out of people.

I did get my Christmas decorations up, hallelujah for that.

I was on my period this last week and decided I would be completely happy to have my uterus removed altogether. I don't need it right?! Also, I'm pretty sure whoever designs feminine hygiene products is a man. A big, fat, stupid, hairy man that has never bled a day in his life and has no idea what "absorption" means. Because that crap does NOT work.

You know, kids really are disgusting. You ever walk into a room and see something sitting there and you can't even explain WHAT THE CRAP that is? I have to periodically go in and clean my kids rooms (yes, after they've done it themselves REALLY GOOD--according to them), and it so disgusts me with what I find. Why the crap is everything shoved under the bed? A used tissue wadded up under something? Something I can't even begin to describe? Check. I feel like I should call my mom and apologize for ever being a disgusting child.

I realized the other day that the only time I feel like blogging is when I have something to complain about. Thats bad. So when I was a teenager and my mom would hear me gossiping to my girlfriends for hours at a time and tell me that that was wrong and when I was an adult it wouldn't just go away--she was right. Not that I sit around and gossip, just meaning that I'm a complainer and I like to talk about complainy, whiny things. That those things are the things that I like to think about and talk about and analyze kind of things. Things. There were a lot of things in that last sentence. But the point is that I complain a lot and I guess I don't like that.

I was thinking how awesome it would be when all my kids are in school and how much more stuff I would get done during the day, and then I realized that I would probably be just as lazy as I am now. That wasn't a complaint I swear.

So much stuff to avoid doing...but I should probably get something done before my youngest wakes up from his nap and before I have to pick the other two up from school, at which point everything goes to pot. So yeah...thanks for the little chat...

*neck hurts from talking into my chest that whole time, shuffles away*


  1. You make me laugh... a lot. I so agree with everything you said. I'm constantly wishing that my kids weren't so dang little. I dream of the day that they're all in school. But then when they occasionally go somewhere with their dad or another relative I spend my free time laying in bed playing games on my phone.

  2. Dude, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has been epic. Sort of uncomfortable to watch, yet, I can't turn away.

  3. ha ha....I loved hearing all the complainy things...cause I was just glad to HEAR FROM YOU.
    Hey, best part about getting older and menopause..IS NO PERIODS. whooopee.
    Loved the line about vampires and beverly hills housewives...sucking the blood out of each other. That was great.
    You may feel whiny right now...but you haven't lost your sense of FUN and humor. Big hug girly.

  4. Have you checked out the diva cup? I ♥ it.


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