I'm tired of being poor. I really REALLY am.
Before I go into this, I will start with a disclaimer: I know there are people in worse off situations than I am. I know that I should be grateful for what I do have. I KNOW. Believe me, I know.
Its just sometimes I get so tired of worrying about how we're going to pay this bill or where the money's going to come from to pay for this that just came out of nowhere. And I'm tired that every penny has to go to something responsible. Maybe sometimes I want to buy something fun, maybe I want to buy some clothes, maybe I want to be frivolous for two minutes without regretting it. Maybe I don't want to have to worry if its going to be okay to go out to dinner or to the zoo, like normal people get to do.
I shouldn't look at other people and compare their situations to mine, but it is SO HARD sometimes. Its like all these people are right there in my face constantly with their big houses and their money and I WANT THAT. I WAAAAAAAANT IT.
People are so judgemental towards people who don't have money too. If I told you I was on food stamps and you saw me at the store buying soda and chips, you would think I'm being irresponsible or wasting that free money right? Well, gosh dang, I can't buy anything, you're going to begrudge me some freaking chips too?! Do I get any sort of indulgence ever?
Honestly, I want to be rich because I want it to just be easy for awhile. There are a bunch of other things already that weigh on me, and I would like the money weight to be lifted.
That would be nice.
Okay, pity party over. I feel like I go through highs and lows where I'm okay with our situation and I realize that money isn't whats important in life, but then when things start to pinch I want an easy solution. And of course, nothing I come up with to make extra money is ever going to be instantaneous and solve all our problems, so I'm stuck feeling overwhelmed by it. Someday I'll figure it out. Or else we'll get rich and I won't have to. I really hope its the second thing... ;)