Monday, May 17, 2010

The PeePee Wars

It was a gray, overcast morning. The woman sat at her computer, checking her e-mail. The fussy baby sat on her lap. She had tuned out the whimpering and had patted and bounced and burped until there was nothing left to do. Suddenly, she felt a warm sensation on her leg. A very warm sensation and it was spreading. She quickly pulled the baby away to reveal the damp spot. She had been peed on. And it was on.

Baby one = mom zero.

It was a fairly cool day but the sun was shining. The woman pulled the carseat out of her mini van and proceeded to enter the doctor's office. She waited for an exorbitant amount of time when the doctor finally came into the room. He went about his doctorly business, poking and prodding and listening to heartbeats. The little baby had gotten poked four times and was a little angry. When it came time for the diaper to be pulled away and the doctor to check everything out, the baby had a plan. Just a moment longer, and...whizzzz. The doctor had been peed on. And it was on.

Baby two = mom feels stupid.

It was a nice day. The sun was shining and everyone was in a fantastic mood. The baby was wrapped up tight and sleeping in his play pen. The mom was cleaning up and the little sister was playing. As the little sister looked around for something new and interesting to play with, her eyes spotted something that caught her attention. What was this little piece of clothe? Its peculiar shape, its soft material, its uncanny resemblance to a little tiny birthday hat...she knew exactly what to do with it. The little girl turned around calling out to her mother. "Look mom! Look at my hat! hehehehe!" The mother yelped and quickly grabbed the object off her daughter's head, revealing the true nature of the beast. It was a pee-pee tee-pee, used to catch the pee when you change a little boy's diaper, and she had unwittingly placed it on her fair head. She had been inadvertently peed on. And it was on.

Baby three = mom... Actually I think that was a win-win that one.


  1. Pee Pee Tee Pees are the best invention ever. I hope it was washed first!

  2. Pee Pee Tee Pee? Actually, I don't know how moms get any points in this game? This is a game that only babies can win!

  3. We got Pee Pee Tee Pee's to use with Bug when he was born. I thought they totally sucked. My kid's whiz must have super pressure or something, because they never stayed in place. I think I stopped using them after getting peed on several times.

  4. Hahahhahahahaha.

    I love it. At least little baby pee doesn't stink!

  5. You actually OWN a pee-pee tee pee?


    (Funny little storyteller, I adore you!)

  6. Those little guys are so reliable- you can always expect them to do that. Awwwhhh.

  7. One thing I'm liking about my new little girl is that I haven't been peed on once.

  8. Baby's are destined to win these games... LOL
    Funny post. Loved it...:)

  9. ha ha! cute little Kimball!!! I love that he pee'd on the dr :)

  10. The moment, the very second, that my third son was born, he peed all over the doctor that had just suctioned his nose before birthing the shoulders. The doctor just had to take it too, cause those little guys are so fragile and slippery you can't even move. It was rather hilarious. I should have realized in that moment that it was a foreshadow of the personality to come. Hehehehehe.

  11. That was fun-ny. Seriously.
    I remember one time when kid #2 came our from his bedroom and said brother #1 was bugging him. So hubby #1 said, well just pee on him
    so he went back into his room and DID

    WHAT ---did you get all that.

  12. I will just say that as a nurse i get peed on more times then I click my pen.

    I'd MUCH rather get pee'd on then my other options though.

    Sad, but true.


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