Baby one = mom zero.
It was a fairly cool day but the sun was shining. The woman pulled the carseat out of her mini van and proceeded to enter the doctor's office. She waited for an exorbitant amount of time when the doctor finally came into the room. He went about his doctorly business, poking and prodding and listening to heartbeats. The little baby had gotten poked four times and was a little angry. When it came time for the diaper to be pulled away and the doctor to check everything out, the baby had a plan. Just a moment longer, and...whizzzz. The doctor had been peed on. And it was on.
Baby two = mom feels stupid.
It was a nice day. The sun was shining and everyone was in a fantastic mood. The baby was wrapped up tight and sleeping in his play pen. The mom was cleaning up and the little sister was playing. As the little sister looked around for something new and interesting to play with, her eyes spotted something that caught her attention. What was this little piece of clothe? Its peculiar shape, its soft material, its uncanny resemblance to a little tiny birthday hat...she knew exactly what to do with it. The little girl turned around calling out to her mother. "Look mom! Look at my hat! hehehehe!" The mother yelped and quickly grabbed the object off her daughter's head, revealing the true nature of the beast. It was a pee-pee tee-pee, used to catch the pee when you change a little boy's diaper, and she had unwittingly placed it on her fair head. She had been inadvertently peed on. And it was on.
Baby three = mom... Actually I think that was a win-win that one.