Seriously BIG LONG Post

Okay this post I'm just putting down anything and everything thats on my mind. I have a lot of stuff going on in my head and hopefully this will help get it out and then I can focus on actually doing what I'm supposed to (like cleaning bathrooms and paying bills, you know: crappy stuff).

~First up is the most important thing I need to blog. Got another dream package! YAY! Do you remember how I told you guys how much I hate the Post Office? Well, they either are really mad and trying to get back at me, or I was totally RIGHT--the Post Office really DOES suck! (I like the second option better. Because in that option I'm RIGHT!) Because it took a whole week for the package to get here (ridiculous) and when it got here? It was OPENED! Seriously people, the Post Office delivered a package that had been opened and things were missing! :( Atleast not the most important stuff was gone, but the chocolate was! HELLO?! And there was a card to explain everything and a button, I'm so irritated! Otherwise, THANK YOU THANK YOU Shellie for the awesome gift! The theme this last month was "My Favorite Things", so Shellie sent me some of her favorite things. Like for example, she likes words, so there was a word theme, and the mug is because she loves hot chocolate. My kids will NEVER be allowed to touch that mug, its MINE MINE MINE!! I adore the yellow frame, I know exactly where I'll put it! I love it all and I'm once again in awe of good friends and sweet people, it just doesn't seem to happen enough but I feel like I've been very blessed!




~I'm reading the last of "The Mortal Instruments" series and I wish I could just sit around all the time and read it (I mostly do so don't feel sorry for me) but then I feel so guilty about not getting done the things that actually NEED to be done. I really need the escape sometimes though. Plus I can't focus on anything except the story going on in my head, so I should just sit down and finish it so I can move on...right?

~I'm struggling a little with being a good person right now. I know this is terrible and really wrong, but I absolutely HATE it when people say they miss their husbands because they've been gone on a business trip for a few days. I know its unfair and they SHOULD miss their husband but I just want to scream and gauge their eyes out. I want to compare it to someone with cancer hating someone who has a cold. They can't help getting sick, but it could be so much worse... I really wish I could get over myself sometimes, especially because my own situation could be a whole lot worse too. I just hate it.

~I'm also struggling with being a good mom right now. I hate that I'm the "exasperated mom" right now. Have you ever met a mom like that? Who whenever her kids are around is just exasperated and impatient and wants them to go away? I feel like that ALL THE TIME. And I hate myself for it. Everytime they ask a question, or want me to get them something or breath or whatever, I want to just throw my hands up in the air and tell them to leave me alone! Isn't that awful?! I'm trying really hard not to do that, but boy I'm really tired of being the only parent around. REALLY tired.

~When I was in junior high I had a t-shirt that had a loaf of bread on it and underneath it said "baked". Seriously, my mom bought that shirt for me. (So random, but that is totally stuck in my head. I can't believe my mom didn't get what that meant. And I'm super embarrassed that I actually wore it and people SAW me wearing it. What if I wore it to church one day?! *edit: For those of you who are better than me and don't know what baked means, its another way of saying you're "stoned" or "high", or you've been smoking marijuana. Which was as far from the truth for me as possible.)

~I also was a complete nerd in junior high... And high school.

~I may still be a complete nerd.

~I took pictures of my sweet baby yesterday, and I'm posting some for you to see. If you don't care go ahead and scroll past, this is the last bit of my super long post. Thanks for enduring that! I know it got a little rough somewhere in the middle there.