Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Kissy Lips

I'm just going to keep riding this love boat until I can't think of any more stories; maybe I'll even come up with some nice ones and not all embarrassing. But not this time, this story is still on the embarrassing end.

When I was a Junior in high school, I started dating a boy who I will (un)affectionately (actually I don't care either way. Meh.) call: Man-Whore. The goal of this boy was to date as many girls as possible, and to get as far as he could before he had to talk to his bishop before he dumped them. I was oh so fortunate to be one of his victims. The very first time I met him was at my best friend's birthday party. He was very forward. I mean VERY forward. It was the very first time I'd ever laid eyes on this guy and he was grabbing my butt and sticking by my side like you wouldn't believe. We were all hanging out in someone's car listening to music when all of a sudden someone shut the door and the lights went out. And all of a sudden Man-Whore had his mouth on mine. It was pretty much my first real kiss and I had no idea what I was doing. A few seconds later the lights came back on and everyone else in the car was all "OOOOHHH!" and I was totally embarrassed. But it went from there into a relationship. He was my boyfriend for two whole months after that (the longest he had ever dated anyone--what a loser). Our whole relationship was pretty much just making out. In fact, the highlight of our relationship was when we made out so much that I got a fat lip. Yes, a really big fat lip.

You see, I had braces at the time, and I suppose the friction or something caused the braces to rub my lips pretty much raw. Explain that to your parents ha? "Uhhh, mom? I think my braces are rubbing against my mouth...yeah." My mom couldn't just leave it at that though, we had to go to the doctor and get medicine for it! And then to have to face the Man-Whore, I thought he would for sure break up with me. But no, he thought it was AWESOME! He thought it was so awesome that he had kissed a girl so much she had a fat lip from it, SO AWESOME in fact he told his dad who also thought it was SUPER AWESOME! (I wonder where he got his man-whorish behavior from, hmmm?)

So yeah, good thing that ended sooner than later right? Stay tuned for another installment of "Melinda's Sad Run-ins With Boys."


  1. LOL - This was a crack up but I do remember quite a few Man-Whore's myself from school. I totally wish I would have had that name back then - Good one!

  2. Ha! I loved that he became your boyfriend and rubbed your lips raw!

  3. Gosh my comment didn't seem to go through - so I'll try again.
    Miss Kissy Lips. (funny)
    I remember my First french kiss ---I was so shocked -- I thought I'd end up pregnant. I was so naive.
    Glad you dumped his sorry "A"


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