Saturday, March 27, 2010

Return to Sender

I hate the U.S. mail system. I loathe it, maybe even.

I've been annoyed with the post office since we moved here, because apparently giving them a forwarding address doesn't mean they'll actually forward your mail. Because, you know, that would mean they would have to be organized or something. So tons of our mail still ends up at my in-laws and I don't know how much of our mail is still in Utah as well. Also, you have no idea how much mail we get from like the last five previous tenants of this house. Seriously. And I wonder if Shawn Arce is a real person, or if its a code name for the bills he doesn't want to get. Like Chanandler Bong. (Please tell me you know what I'm talking about here, you guys do watch Friends right?!)

So I have a very secretive secret thing I'm doing and you'll find out soon enough, but I had to mail a package yesterday. It HAD to be sent yesterday--at the LATEST. And of course, I waited until yesterday to send it. So I get to the post office, and of course the line is ridiculously long. And of course my son wants to run around like a terror, and of course I won't let him so he's screaming. I mean literally SCREAMING. And does anyone say anything, or politely pretend like its not super annoying? NO, the dumb fat guy in front of me actually turns around and stares at me all rude like. My face is bright red as I struggle to hold my son and distract him from screaming anymore. And all the while I'm standing there nobody says anything to me about the nice brown box I'm holding with the WRONG kind of tape on it. I waited in line for 30 flippin' minutes and when I finally got up there the lady says "I'm sorry I can't accept this box with this kind of tape on it." And I'm like "are you kidding me?" and she's like "you can buy some tape from us." At which point I gave her the death glare, snatched up my box and stomped out of the stupid bleeping post office with everyone staring at me like the punks they are.

And then I started crying. And called my sister to wail for awhile.

Then my mom came with some tape and mailed it for me.

Here's my question though, why the h@*l do you need to have clear tape?! Seriously, why the crap does it even matter?! And don't you think they should put that up somewhere so people actually know that?! Maybe I'm stupid and its like universal knowledge that you have to have clear tape, but I just don't understand WHY. And really could they not have just helped me out? A hugely pregnant women struggling with her three kids, waiting for half an hour, they couldn't have thrown me a bone? I seriously hate them right now. The last month of pregnancy is a scary, scary thing, don't you think?

p.s. I'm super crabby right now. (Shocking isn't it?)

p.s.s. I think one of my rib's is out of place, or cracked or something...has this happened to any of you with your pregnancies? Did they do anything for you? I need some help because I am so at the end of my rope.

p.p.s CURSE YOU POST OFFICE!! *fist shaking!*


  1. Awe... Melinda, I am so sorry that those post office people are so mean! And they are! I have experienced their meanness on occasion! If I was there I would have totally put them on their place for you! At least you have awesome family to help you out!

  2. What the F.

    Okay, so I also had something to send the other day and I had it all packed and ready to go but just had to seal the top flap and put the person's name (scrawled oh-so-cutely on Springtime orange paper) on the front. In the past, I have ALWAYS just been able to have them tape up the top, but nooooooo! They don't do that anymore. So I had to BUY A ROLL of tape from them for nearly $4 (a much bigger roll could have been purchased at a dollar store, ps) and do it myself while I too was glared at!

    The best part? My revenge. When they asked if there was anything breakable or perishable I LIED. Twice.

    Take that, USPS.

    (My hugs and kisses to you and your ribs!)

  3. PS. It's MS. Chanandler Bong. :)

  4. Well skcoe took my comment of MS. Chanandler Bong so I have nothing else to say. PS - skcoe, you're awesome:)

  5. OK Don't go postal on us - Ha Ha - Sorry I just had to do it!
    Seriously though - Our Post Office is nice and the people there would have got the right tape for you and helped you I have seen them do it time and again for people.
    That really STINKS that they could not even give a little human kindness - Especially to a pregnant woman with kids she is trying to hold still.
    I would write the postmaster a letter-Seriously!

  6. I am thinking, the whole broken rib thing...WASN'T THAT ADAM'S FAULT.
    isn't that in the scriptures somewhere??

    I hate the post office too. You should have hollered to them that there was a bomb in there so back off.
    I know, not a good time to get arrested. Forget I said that.

  7. A couple of my fetuses shoved their feet up under my ribs. It hurt for weeks after they were born. I would take my hands and sort of squeeze my belly until they shifted a bit. It helped. But not much. The last month a pregnancy is horrible. It's the only thing that would make you longforhopeforwishfor labor to begin.

    The post office is staffed by truly sadistic people. Except for my old mail carrier, Wendy, who is near perfect.

    Hope you have a happy birth-day soon.

  8. STUPID SUCKY POST OFFICE. I feel so defensive for you right now. Help a poor pregnant girl out people!!! GEEZ. I also happened to be mailing a box recently, and I used clear tape, but not because they told me to, but because it's what I found first. Stupid stupid stupid post office.

    Also, Ms. Chanandler Bong was the name revealed on the episode when the boys and girls were playing Ross' quiz game (not to be confused with Joey's game show, Bamboozled) when the girls lost the awesome apartment and they got the yucky boys apartment.

    Also, the ribs thing SUCKS. I'm surprised Sheryl didn't mention it, but one of her ribs is still out of place from her first pregnancy, although I don't know if it still hurts- you'll have to ask her about remedies. Also, I have a friend that actually SPRAINED her rib, not during pregnancy, but still, that's pretty freakin' weird that a person can sprain a rib. Weirdness. Wanna know how she did it? Doing a cartwheel for her kids! HAHAHA.

  9. Ia it insensitive of me to post that someday when you read this post and remember "The Incident" that you'll laugh? You'll then be really glad you aren't pregnant and that those years are behind you- and you WILL laugh. I promise. But not today.

    Today, that whole situation sucked and so I say "I'm sorry!".

  10. Hey did I mention that one of my ribs is still out of place from my first pregnancy?

    Just wondering. (Wink to Michelle.)

    My son used it as a "pushing off" point for all his tricks. it felt like he was curling his little monkey toes around it all of the time!

    His best trick was pushing against it during delivery...I really thought I would die at some point and was out of breath until he was born. It doesn't hurt any more, but it sticks out and is super hot.

    The End.

  11. I would have cried to!! And then I would have called my mom to come and help me!!!!

  12. Pushed my hubby down the stairs while I was preggos. I would have decked the guy in front of me!!!

  13. Hey, thanks for commenting on the Cheese blog!

    I see that my cousin-in-law (Babes-In-Boyland) is commenting on your blog. That's cool!

    Although I felt your pain in the post, it made me chuckle. Who is this old Post Office stare jerkface and what is the heck is his problem?! And why the heck do they care about the stinking tape?! I just saw some show where these people owned a business that they mailed balls through the mail. They'd just stick on a stamp and sent it through the mail.

    So big balls are okay to send through the mail but if you have the wrong tape, you are out of luck? That's just not right. [shaking head in disgust] THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!

    BTW, I am an official "follower" of your blog now. I hope you don't mind the occasional rambling babble in your comments like the one above.

  14. The post office is generally not a pleasant place to be. I am so lucky to live in a small town with AWESOME employees who know me and all my family by name. It's incredibly awesome and they throw me bones all the time. I wish you could have the same kind of post office. As for the rib, my oldest permanently changed the shape of it, flattened it right out with his head. So sorry! It does not feel good, does it?

  15. I loathe going to the post office. I rarely send packages because of this. I have learned, however that it is TOTALLY WORTH IT to find a UPS store and go there. Even though it is slightly more expensive, they are NEVER busy.

    And I think I've heard of someone's ribs getting out of place during pregnancy. You should call your dr. and check.


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