Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Nothing Against You Mr. Sandman

I am on strike. What could I possibly be striking?


I hate sleep. I mean come on, whats it ever done for me? Nothing. Nothing, I say!

Sleep is just a big time waster. And I don't like time wasters. Except for myself...and anyone else...just not Sleep.

I was noticing something though the other night. Since I started practicing hypnobirthing (where you do breathing techniques and go into a deep relaxed state) now as soon as the room is dark, I am gone. Its like a *click* of the light switch and boom, I'm out. Which would be great I suppose, except I'm scared it will happen at unexpected and unpleasant times. I'll set the scene for you: *Melinda sits in a chair filled doctor's office, reading a magazine. Or playing brickbreaker on her phone. Cut to a naughty child crawling all over the chairs, under and all over the place. Soon the child discovers a light switch just above the chair its terrorizing at that moment. With a mischievous look on its face, the child reaches up toward the switch. Cut back to Melinda as she glances over at the kid, her face contorts into astonished terror as she realizes the lights are about to go out. Cut back to naughty menace flipping the lights off. Darkness. Theres a loud crash as Melinda crumples to the floor. One long moment of silence before snoring ensues. End scene.*

See?! Sleep is a scary, dangerous thing! So I'm boycotting. You can't make me do it!!

Other bodily functions I hate: see this post here.


  1. When it comes to sleep v. not sleeping, I am on the side of sleep, even if non-sleep has brickbreaker on it's side.

  2. 2 quick questions:
    A) Can one practice hypnobirthing if she is neither pregnant, nor planning on becoming pregnant in the near future?

    2) What kind of crazy mad woman are you? You don't like sleep?? WTF? It's like I don't even know you.

  3. I am having an affair with sleep. I don't care if I'm cheating on my husband with it.

  4. Me and my association with sleep is FICKLE. One minute I sleep wonderfully, and the next night I am sooooooooo awake.
    sleep is a buggar

  5. Girlfriend, with or without hypnobirth I do that.

  6. Don't strike against sleep.
    He's mean and he'll bite you in the behind. :)


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