This same thing happened last summer too; everyone else goes off and actually has stuff to do and they're busy and having fun and don't blog, while I sit here like a big blogging loser.
I miss reading everyone's blogs. Not that people aren't blogging at all, just the frequency goes down a lot. Mine has too, but thats just because I'm boring and have nothing to say.
Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about "who I am."
You know when you first are getting to know someone and you get to the part where you're telling them about your family, and its like 'my sister is the crazy one, and my brother is the responsible one, blah, blah, blah' (I wasn't saying those were true for my brother and sister either way, just an example). Well, I want to know what people say about me. I WANT TO KNOW! Even if its bad, I want to know what they think. And then I can either change and be better and even more ridiculously perfect...heh heh...or I can defend myself and tell everyone they suck. I don't know, I just want to know! Ya know?!
Why is it so hard to see ourself? You can get a pretty good feel of who a person is after you've known them for awhile (sometimes right away if they're easy to read), but what is it about ourself thats so hard to get? Is it that we don't want to admit to our faults? Do we not see the things that we don't want to change? I don't know, but I'm trying really hard to see it, and all I'm getting is a headache.
So, do you want to know what people say about you behind your back or are you happy being blissfully ignorant?
p.s. Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" is one of my all-time favorite songs. For real. :)
I think it depends. I want to know who will stab me in the back, and know if I shouldn't trust someone, but I don't think anyone likes to hear mean things about themselves.
ReplyDeleteOh, my gosh. For reals, the difference between kid toots and adult toots . . . Gah!
ReplyDeleteThis is an issue that's been on my mind as I do the dating thing. Ugh. It's awful to try to figure out who someone is if they aren't that open or comfortable with themselves. I would love to know what a guy liked and didn't like about me after a first or second date! I doubt I would change it. I already know from my sisters that most of what people don't like about me isn't something I want to change. The things I want to change, I'm working on and you'll just have to be patient about. But the rest of it? Take it or leave it. And there's the door.
ReplyDeleteI just wish people would tell people more often to their face or in a note what they think of them. I think it could literally change some peoples outlooks on life.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time the good stuff is said at funerals and I always think - did this person know he/she was thought so well of by people. Did he/she know how they changed or touched someones life?
I wish people would say more often. It is kind of one of the fun things about blogging. If you do a post about something you are really passionate or proud of you often get positive feedback that makes you feel good about yourself.
BTW YOU ARE AWESOME!!
People always say that I am the "crunchy" one. That can be either good or bad. Some people think it's cool because I breastfeed way past a year. Some people think I'm nuts because I want to eat my placenta. But, that is how pretty much everyone describes me....at least, I think!
ReplyDeleteBlissfully ignorant for sure.
ReplyDeleteAnd I blog in the summer! It is when I do my best blogging. You should try it more often.
I think I tend to lean toward "Blissfully Ignorant." I try my very hardest to be a good friend and sister in law and primary teacher, blah blah blah...and honestly unless someone has some major qualms about my behavior or personality, I'd rather they keep it to themselves.
ReplyDeleteAlso. I'm so so so so tired of trying to please everyone. I am who I am, take it or leave it.
But don't leave it. Because I want you to like me. :)
PS Last week a new friend in my neighborhood said we had a mutual friend...someone we'd both been in wards with in the past. She knew instantly who our friend was describing when she said, "Yeah, her name is Sheryl...she's kind of larger than life crazy...?"
ReplyDeleteIs that GOOD? I mean larger than life is okay, but CRAZY?!
Thanks.
I think blissfully ignorant is better. My Hubs once said to me "Honey, you just assume everyone wants to be your friend" and I looked at him incredulously and said "You mean everyone doesn't"?
ReplyDeleteThing is, I believe there is very little we can change about our personality/wiring. We can try to suppress who we are but that will only make us miserable and fool no one. We can CONTROL our behaviors and reactions but we can't change our personalities. And I don't want to change mine so if someone doesn't like me, me knowing might make me feel bad about the stuff I can't/won't change.
As for what *I* think about you- I think you're strong, funny, thoughtful, impatiently patient and just an all around awesome person.
PS- I am a validation junkie and I pretty much assume everyone else is too! LOL!
It is so hard to look at yourself... I did hair for about 12 years and could tell people what they needed to have the best looking hair. But for myself no way I couldn't do it, to hard to see your self!!!
ReplyDeleteI only want to know what people think of me if its nice!!
"if you wanna make the world a bettah place, take a look at yourself and then make that change!"
ReplyDeleteYeah I freaking love that song, but at the same time, I'm pretty sure I don't really want to change. I think most other people should.
Being blissfully ignorant is the way I'd go, in a heart beat. I'm much too wimpy for it to be any other way.
ReplyDeletePS: I was feeling some summer blogging weirdness today, too. I smiled to see it in your post! I'm blogging, and realizing everyone else is at the beach! What the heck???? :)
I'm pretty sure I know exactly what they say... at least what my fam and my SILs say. And although what I am 98% positive of what my SILs say hurts a bit -it is true and deserved. And I'm working on changing myself and in time their perceptions of me.
ReplyDeleteThat's all.
I used to care what other people thought about me but now I just don't give a...care. My headache was there all the time now it's just there when I have family around. That is one of the things I love about being old...I am who I am, not everyone likes everybody. I do hope no one hates me or thinks I hurt their feelings...that bugs me and I heart you! Crazy summer and spring for that matter! I miss everyone!
ReplyDeleteOkay, unrelated, but I had to come by and tell you that the Twilight picture I put on my blog - I totally missed what it said on the sign! No way would I have put that on my blog. Thanks for pointing it out to me for I have removed it.
ReplyDeleteYour very best blogging friend in the entire world and universe,
abe
Oh sweet, sweet, little Melissa. I am almost 59 and still haven't figured out "who I am". Seriously, it drive me nuts. It is like I DON'T KNOW MYSELF. sometimes. I haunts me.
ReplyDeleteNO....I probably don't want to know what people say behind my back as I DO NOT HAVE THICK SKIN. I am offended, hurt by the very slightest thing.
You'd think by now, I'd just not really care.
But I remember when I first met you, how cute you were. how petite. I knew from the get go that you would be a fun gal to hang out with...even though you were young enough to be my daughter.
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF OK