Monday, January 10, 2011

Boy oh Boy

I have four children. My first two were girls, my second two: BOYS.

Boys. Boys, boys, boys, boys...boys. Boys are a whole other creature I tell you!

From the very beginning they smell worse than girls. I'm serious! Boys like to play in the garbage can. They like to run in circles for half an hour straight. They're rough and loud and curious and have so much energy I wish I could channel it to use some myself. Reverse psychology doesn't work on them at all. If I told my girls to go take a bath and they whine about it, all I would have to say is "Fine. Then you CAN'T take a bath!" and they would be begging me to take a bath. Boys? Not one bit. I can threaten my son, "Do you need a TIME OUT?!" (my girls would be quaking) and he would be "Yes. I DO want a time out! PLEASE GIVE ME A TIME OUT!!" (yelled in the middle of church), its exasperating.

Probably the worst thing about boys though? Their boy parts. Yes. You read that right. Their boy parts. They are like OBSESSED with them. Potty training my son has been like living in a nudist resort. And I'm gonna be honest, I just don't want to see wiener's like...ever. Even if they are just my little boy's. I feel like I'm being visually assaulted all the time. I'm thinking boys' think its like their own personally handle of some sort, just something to hang on to constantly. Goodness sakes Son, its not a toy!

My younger son is eight months old now and I see him doing the exact same things as my older son. He's walking now and he is into EVERYTHING. He just learned how to open all the cupboards in the kitchen, and do you think he wants to play in the cupboard with pots and pans? NO, he wants the cupboard with dangerous chemicals that should probably be up high anyway! What is wrong with him?!

But you know what? Boys are so awesome too. And I love mine more than anything. Ya know what I just thought of--boys are like puppies! So cute and adorable and lovable and so destructive...


  1. That is funny, because I much prefer boys to girls!

  2. You know what the BEST part of having boys is? After they are a little older - they want to go with dad!!!! So dad gets to take them to the hardware store, to get gas, to do boy things - that usually means away from the house or outside. That means more breaks for mom! I love having boys! :)

  3. LOL!!!! Gizmo isn't old enough to act much like a boy yet, but Bug is every stinkin' boy stereotype crammed into one two year old body! lol. One day I caught him completely naked putting a key ring around his wiener! Boy.

  4. Ditto.

    Except in reverse.

    My youngest child and only daughter may not be destructive like my sons were, but at four years old she hurts my feelings and causes drama and refuses to let me help her make ANY of her decisions. She has a melt down every hour on the hour.

    She hates, no...loves, no...HATES her friends and doesn't even want to play with them. Until I cancel the playdate and then she's in tears that she MISSES them and just wants to see them again and I'm "THE MEANEST MOMMY EVERRRRRRR!"


  5. OH my gosh that was so funny...YOU not wanting to see anymore weiners!!!!! starts from such a young, the obsession with their "parts".
    Having raised 4 sons myself......I have some good weiner stories to tell...just not now.
    makes me laugh.
    I remember once my sister and I had our 2 sons (only 5 months apart) in the tub together..and my sister said to me, Gosh Wendy, your son's thingy is so big comared to MY son's he could probably throw it over his shoulder.
    that always still makes me laugh.
    Boys are their own bred for sure..........and you KNOW you love every minute of it.

  6. I know EXACTLY what you mean. We are living through potty training HELL and that little thing is out all the time. Much more often that I would like it to be.

  7. Yep. You just described my two boys. And they like their boy parts too. It's like you've been secretly watching them.

  8. I will take boys over the drama queens any day!!! They are so much easier and as for the wieners...they are born obsessed and die obsessed. You did know that, right?! My grandson had a balloon the other day and said to me, "Grammy...this looks just like a wiener...I swear it does!"

    This post just made me LMAO!!! Thanks, I needed that. You are the best and I like the hair either way!

  9. Ha! I'm your opposite. What am I supposed to do with these prissy little girls?

  10. Hahahaha! Time and time again when I tell someone (usually a curious stranger) that I'm having a fifth boy they say "You're lucky. Boys are so much easier to raise than girls!" or "I have 2 sons and 2 daughters and the boys were just so much less stressful."

    I think right now, when they're little, the energy and destruction are physically exhausting. But I've decided that since every person that tells me that has already raised their children, they must mean OVERALL that the boys were easier. I think it has to do with girl's emotions, and tenderness, and parental protectiveness in overdrive over daughters. So think of it this way: its just going to get easier! Hopefully. :-)

    Sigh... little weiners. yes, it's a handle. And a toy. And a rocketship. And silly putty. And ultimate fascination. Just wait until your son tells the woman next to you in Sacramant meeting that his penis "just got big big BIG". Hopefully you'll be as lucky as I was that that woman had raised sons herself and found it funny rather than offensive.

    Sigh... again.

  11. I had 3 girls and then a boy. You are right on the money! If you can keep a boy alive til his teen years, HE WILL SO MUCH LOWER MAINTENANCE THAN GIRLS. Seriously, no drama over every dance or activity, no spending outrageous $$ for clothing/make up/hair. Just make sure you get a Costco card because they eat tons.


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