Whooey, why does life have to be so hard? (Don't answer that, I know why life has to be hard, but... WHYYYYYY?!?)
We're trying to move.
Like I really want to move. I want to be near my family, I want my kids to know their grandparents, I want to be home.
My husband wants to be a cop.
So he applied for a job back home, flew up there for the testing, passed the tests with pretty good scores, AND...didn't get the job.
When we were going through this whole process, I kept telling myself I would be fine either way, I knew it wasn't a sure thing that he would get the job and that was okay, we would deal with however it turned out and blah blah BLAH!
I didn't realize how much I was hoping for this job until we were told no.
And I do want it, I DO. I really do.
So now what?
We have to re-look at all our plans, what the next step is, where we need to go with it now.
I knew it wasn't going to be easy, that rarely good things just fall into your lap, but I was really hoping it would, dang it!
I also know that the Lord will help us figure this out, and maybe we just need to show Him that we really do want this and we're willing to work for it, not just sit back and hope He makes it happen.
So I guess thats what we'll do.
But I'm scared. I'm scared to put myself, my family, everything, out there and take a giant leap of faith. I want security, I want to know it will all be perfect and I don't have to risk anything. Poo.
Well, here's to stupid "life" and here's to making hard decisions...
...and here's to trusting in the Lord.