So I'm back again, how's it going? For me? Its going....well, its going.
I was making a menu for the month, and realized I only have two weeks before my husband leaves for basic training and then he'll be gone for five months. Ugh. It hit me not well.
I've been having a recurring thought lately. It just keeps popping up. Maybe its on my mind because everyone's making resolutions and goals and its making me reflect. Maybe not. Who knows?
So what I've been thinking about is all these things I'd like to have and do and be. As in, I would love to sew quilts, and paint and craft. I'd also love to buy a house and decorate it. I would also love to go on a REAL vacation, you know, a really AWESOME one. And while I think its great (and necessary) to have goals and look to the future, I also think we're very much a generation of NOW. We can't be satisfied with SOMEDAY. We can't be happy until we are perfect and have everything we dream of RIGHT THIS SECOND.
I'm trying really hard to tell myself, its okay to not have those things right this second. You can work towards those things later. You don't have to know how to sew and quilt and craft right now, you have years and years and years to do those things. You can be a world famous author when you're fifty, why do you have to have it now?
Right now, you're life is raising children. Improving the things in yourself you can control. Not wasting every minute wishing and dreaming for something you can't have! I need to find joy in the moments and be happy with what I have. All the while I can still make goals and want things, I'm not saying thats bad, I'm not saying we should be complacent and give up hope for better things.
I think it comes down to being thankful and finding joy in what you do have.
Its hard though, really hard. How do you guys do it?
Fall Into Sweets
3 hours ago
I yell out "Carpe diem!" at random moments. OK, not really. Mostly I just review the fundamental eternal importance of the mom gig. And I try to fit snuggles in as much as possible. Nothing keeps me in the moment, loving the now, quite so much as huggling the littles (and the bigs too).
ReplyDeleteI am so like you. I have such a hard time not planning. And when I do find myself really living in the moment and appreciating my children, at the back of my mind there is this little voice saying, "stop playing hide and seek and go wash the dishes!" It is really hard. I'm still working on it. . .
ReplyDeleteI had a therapist once tell me I need to just take each day one day at a time and see how I felt in that day. Don't worry about all this stuff a year from now that I don't have control of anyway.
ReplyDeleteMy sister an I have a saying:
ReplyDelete"This is not the time in my life when I can _________".
Sometimes we whine about it to each other but always it's there. We CAN have it all- just not at the same time.
Sounds like you have your self "in order" as things in life do have to be kept In Order. We can't do everything now. For many reasons. You can make out a plan --your "bucket list" of a sorts, and get to them when it becomes "time appropriate". And before you know it, many of your dreams will come true. And, sadly Melinda, some remain just dreams. And that is ok too......cause just Having them if ahlf the fun.
ReplyDeleteand one time I had a primary teacher tell me she could not handle my child in primary class. I was devastated --and seriously wanted to punch her in the face.
It is hard to get out of the "instant gratification" mode, but I will take a few minutes for "me" (not "Mom")--like run away to the bathtub, get on the computer for 10 minutes, take a quick walk, or read a book.
ReplyDeleteI also have found if I make a list of things I think "need" to be done, and then carefully examine it, and cross off things that can wait for another day; then that helps me see things in a better perspective.
Plus, my husband is super understanding & supportive. He is constantly reminding me that we have little kids, a super small house, & not enough space for everything. "One day our house will be cleaner--but that one day doesn't need to be for quite a while"
so kick off your shoes & put your feet up for a while :D