My Saturday, so far....dun dun dun

8:11 am- I'm woken up to a sort of rhythmic 'thump, thump' next door, which makes me roll my eyes and hate our neighbors just a little bit more. Whats worse is it dies down enough for me to start to fall back asleep before they pick things up again...this goes on for about half an hour. Me waking up by their noise, trying to fall back asleep and then eventually annoyed to all get out wondering why my life is full of cliche's. Everybody hears about if you live in an apartment, you're going to be woken by your neighbor's doing it, but it happens to me ALL the TIME. If we ever stay in a motel/hotel/whatever it is guaranteed that I'm going to hear thuds sometime in the middle of the night when I want to be sleeping. And I've come to the conclusion that these people are so loud because they WANT you to know they're doing it. It must be a sick kind of turn on or something, because I just don't know how you can make that much noise...

8:45 am- I finally drag my fat, achy body out of bed and wobble downstairs. Eat some Reese's Puffs (yum...) and go back upstairs to shower. My 20 month boy usually showers with me because there ain't no way I'm letting him roam the house alone and most likely catch something on fire. He's gotten in the habit of calling my boobs "yucky", because he tried to grab at me last week and I said "yucky! No touching!" Do you think I've scarred him? Yeah right, that gene is too deeply ingrained...

9:30 am- I check my e-mail and facebook and get stuck on what to put as my status. I type something out, find it incredibly stupid and erase it. Do this five or so more times and come up with something generic and safe and boring...

10:14 am- Have to PEE!! Run to the bathroom and sit down only to discover that the last little tushie that sat here dribbled on the seat and I've now sat in it. Oh the joy's of parenthood. Hey, atleast they're potty trained and I don't have to change another stinkin diaper...

11:45 am- It hits! Every child within a hundred mile radius wants a snack--RIGHT NOW! They're all demanding: I want this, I want that, NOW NOW NOW! And of course they all want different things. My son wants fruit snacks, which he isn't getting because he just chews them up and spits them on the floor. But everything I point to he says in a very firm "NO!" until I just pick something and hand it to him. He throws himself on the floor, kicking and saying "NO! NO!" until he looks at it and takes it anyway...

noon- I'm ready to go back to bed...