First situation: At the shoe store my 4 year old has to pee, I go to the lady at the counter and ask her if they have a bathroom, she tells me no (after ignoring me for a couple minutes until I finally say EXCUSE ME) and then proceeds to ignore me some more until I ask her where the nearest bathroom actually is. Its down around the corner, in the rain and I'm fat and pregnant. When I get BACK to the shoe store she asks me if I found a bathroom alright? What I say: a quick nod. No words at all.
What I meant to say: Are you kidding me that you don't have a bathroom anywhere in here for a little kid so she doesn't pee all over your floor?! Where do you freaking go when YOU have to pee?! And don't patronize me after ignoring me, you're freaking lucky I have a giftcard here or else I WOULDN'T HAVE COME BACK!
Second situation: A huge group of teenagers are walking in the middle of the street I'm driving down. I'm going slow and waiting for them to move out of the road, when one of the girls right by my window yells at me and tells me to move or stop or some other stupid crap, I say through the window: Are you kidding me? You need to get out of the road!
What I meant to say: Listen here idiot teenager, what you're doing is illegal and I really should just run you over. If I wasn't worried about going to jail I would do it happily. Jay walker.
Last scenario: When the lady at church called my 18 month old a "nuisance" I stood there with my mouth agape.
What I meant to say: I will kill you dead.
Yikes! I am scared!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think that is why I set my blog up for sarcasm. So, I can say whatever I want, and nobody is supposed to take me seriously or worry about how negative I am, because I'm SUPPOSED to write "Lamentations" on my blog! :D
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I know what you mean about being on a blogging slump lately. I'm right in the middle of pregnancy induced feel-like-I'm-gonna-puke-every-second-sickness. I have hardly even been READING blogs...let alone keeping up with my own on a regular basis!
hahaha, i liked the second then read the third and laughed out loud! I like the idea of the post, I think I could have a lot of "What I meant to say.." moments:)
ReplyDeleteah sorry you got the bummers!
ReplyDeleteI would put the new shoes on and kicked her sphincter
Thanks for playing with me even though you have the poopies
The only person allowed to call your child a nuisance is you. I firmly believe that.
ReplyDeleteI think mine sounded bitter too, but oh well. Yours are great. I can't believe someone called your child a nuisance!! I love what you should have said. Excellent!!
ReplyDeleteDon't you just LOVE rude people. Someday I am going to get the guts to say things like that! Go ahead and tell the lady at church to SHUT-UP! What is it about church members who think they can say anything to you!
ReplyDeleteLOL @ kill you dead... hahahahha
ReplyDeleteOh man I wish you would have said all that stuff too. next time Mel next time!!!!
ReplyDeletecan't wait to hear what the bambino is!
Haha!! You are so funny... really. It's one of the reasons I read your blog. I like this whole "What I meant to say" thing. I think I'll try it. :-)
ReplyDelete-Kara
Good job I thought you were funny!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes all stores have bathrooms for employes unless it's mexico!!! That would make me so mad!!!