Nothin'. Blank. There is no thoughts in my head.

I keep starting sentences and erasing them because nothing is sounding right. Poo. I hate that! I'm about to erase this one too...

Instead I think I need a good laugh. The other night we were watching Leno, and he had on there Youtube video's done right vs. the same scenario done bad. Anyway, one was where a kid right at the buzzer threw the basketball all the way down court and made the basket to win the game!!! WOWEE! Here's the other one:



Oh my gosh I could rewind that over and over and over. Thats hysterical.

Arrrr Me Mateys!

My favorite "naughty" joke:

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender notices the pirate has placed his steering wheel in his pants, and mentions it to the pirate. The pirate responds with:

"Arrrrr...it's driving me nuts!"


Tee hee!


Whats your favorite joke?

Watch Out for My Broom!

Kids have a lot of toys. I'm fairly positive that toys breed, because I never buy toys, but when I go in my kids room, there are TONS of toys. Its insane. Where did they come from? Why don't they leave? Don't they know they aren't welcome here?

The other problem with the millions of toys, is that my kids can't/won't possibly put them all away. So they're everywhere, all the time. I hate it.

My solution? Whenever I sweep up the floor, whatever's on the floor goes in the trash can. You should see my kids scramble when I bring the broom out, all of a sudden they're diving to the floor trying to save their favorite toys before mom can sweep them into oblivion. Its awesome. A two in one, the toys get put away and my kids get some excercise.

So, how do you keep your kid's toys in check?

Cold Hearted Lunch

So I was over at Regarding Annie, whom I adore, and she was talking about school lunches. It made me think back to my childhood days when I had lunch. Except I didn't get to buy lunch at school, like EVER. My mom made us lunch, in a nice brown paper bag (I HATE those bags), she was a healthy mom and so in our lunch were pretty much the same things every day. A sandwich, an apple or orange, a treetop juice (she couldn't even get good juice like Caprisun or anything!), maybe at some point there was chips (but not even like bagged chips, like she took a sandwich bag and put some chips in there), and one cookie (homemade).

I hated those stupid lunches.

After sitting in your backpack all day, your sandwich is smashed. The peanut butter is crystallizing, the juice is warm (and its 100% healthy--blech), the chips are all smashed up and the only good thing in there is the cookie. So thats about all I would eat and throw the rest away.

I THREW IT AWAY--EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

I can't even imagine the amount of money I wasted over the years, its just too horrible to think about...

So one time, I shoved my lunch in the bottom of my locker (this is in junior high now) and I left it there (since I obviously wasn't going to eat it), and I left it and I left it and...I left it. Until the orange that was in there was totally rotten. And not only rotten, but STINKING. I was too embarrassed to take it out, because what if someone saw it?! It finally got so bad that I snuck it out one day, but seriously that is how bad I hated lunch time.

Were you one of the cool kids that got to buy lunch? (I hate you.)

Re-Do

Oh snap! I just had a post almost done and stupid blogger just deleted it! Crappy!

Well, the point of it was this:

I want to paint our old jenny lind crib, it looks like this right now:


And I want to paint it turquoise. Wouldn't that be fantastic?!

I'm totally into these colors, and this look right now:


Isn't that just so fresh and pretty?!

I decided I was going to go through all my old magazines (mostly Better Homes & Gardens, and Family Fun) and take out all the old articles I wanted to save and put them in a binder to refer to when I finally get to actually decorate something. But since I've probably gone through atleast fifty decorating magazines, I REALLY want to decorate!!!

Can I come to your house and re-decorate for you?

Take Away My Junk

I really want to move. REALLY bad.

So in order to do that, there's a LOT that has to happen. First thing up, we're having a garage sale. Hopefully next weekend.

The problem with that? My front yard looks like a couple dinosaurs came through and had a knock down drag out fight. (Its tore up.)

Would you still go to a garage sale even if there was caution tape and orange cones blocking the sidewalk (which isn't a sidewalk anymore, just dirt)? I'm just hoping enough people will take the chance so we can get rid of our couch, a couple dressers and a whole lot of GREAT crap!

De-junking makes me feel creative though, I really want to sit around and make hair bows and aprons and paint stuff.

If I was really good, I'd do both. But I'm not. Oh well.


What do you have on your to-do list?

Vent, vent, vent...

I am annoyed.

I was in a pretty good mood today, but as the day goes on, the more annoyed I get. Do you ever have days like that? Where you are so bothered you can hardly see straight?

I'm sick of people.

I'm sick of shallow people.

Don't get me wrong, I'm shallow. We're all shallow. I'm just tired of people who are supposed to be living a certain way, and act like they are, turning around and being "worldly". This isn't going to make any sense, and I probably sound so judgemental but thats not what I mean. And its not like these are people I don't know, these are people I've known for a long time.

Have you ever had a friend that says they're poor? But every time you turn around they're buying crap, and not just any crap, like shallow stupid crap?! Thats their business to buy whatever they want, but don't walk around and be like "sorry I can't donate to that because I'm poor...oh but you want to get pedicures--LET'S GO!" So frustrating!

I've just been feeling so beaten down lately. Like my whole faith in humanity is failing, because there are so many people around me who are living fake lives and its so hard to watch. I understand that its their choice to make, but why do they have to throw it in your face like you should be jealous?! I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it being like high school and a stupid popularity contest. Who cares if everyone likes you? Why do people have to be fake and act a "certain" way to impress people, so stupid!

And I'm REALLY tired of the STUPID road work going on in front of my FREAKING house! Sheesh.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

I was totally inspired by Chief's fake list of lies she posted yesterday, she kills me! But what's sad about her fake list is that it reminded me of real lies I've actually told! Sad I know, but really I think they're mostly pretty funny stories. Or horrible, you choose.

Lie #1:

When I was a junior in high school (I'm not telling you the year, I don't need to hear how "young" I am, and I don't want you to know), I worked for a grocery store name Safeway as a courtesy clerk. I bagged groceries, cleaned the bathrooms, got the carts from the parking lot. It was very glamorous. My very best friend's birthday party was that Saturday and I tried and tried to get someone to take my shift, but they wouldn't. I was NOT going to miss that party, so I called in sick and said I had food poisoning. A week or so later, I get called into my manager's office. "Melinda, did you really have food poisoning the other day?" "Uhhhhhmmmm, YES, I went to Taco Bell and got some really bad food and was throwing up all night. MMmm hmmm... thats it." Intense stares into my soul. "Now Melinda, are you sure there isn't anything you want to tell us?" I broke like a fat kid for a candy bar, "I'm so sorry! It was my best friends birthday....bawwwwl, bawwwl bawwl!!" I think I didn't get fired because they'd never seen anyone cry so hard. And just so you know it was a stupid girl who told on me. I hate her.


Lie #2:

When I was a senior in high school everyone could buy a senior t-shirt, made special for that graduating class. I WANTED one of those shirts, I did, I did, I did. But I didn't have the money for it, and my parents were cheap. Or I was too scared (or lazy) to ask them. So instead I took the receipt from my friend and rushed over right when the bell rang to the kid handing out the t-shirts and in a hurry said "here's my receipt from the office, I paid for my shirt, give it to me!" He acted a little suspicious, but hey I was cute so he gave it to me. I'm sure I will burn in hell for stealing.

Lie #3:

When I was in junior high it was report card time. Just in the middle of the year, so it wasn't like AS important as final grades. But I got a "D" in one of my classes. I didn't want the wrath of Dad, so I took a pencil and very carefully put a line through that "D" to make it look like a "B". It really looked good, my parents had no clue until later in the year the teacher called to tell them I was failing. Then the crap hit the fan.


Lie #4:

This happened in the last recent years and I still feel horrible over it because I'm an adult and should be able to handle myself. But alas, it happened and now you'll know I am a schmuck. So anyway, for a Young Women's activity we decided to play with marshmallow guns. Except when it came to that night, it was raining outside. So we thought, what they hay, we'll play inside...in the Primary room...Yeah. Smart. So we had a great time playing marshmallow wars, until we turned the lights on and realized there were hundreds of marshmallows stuck/ground/cemented into the floor. We cleaned and cleaned and cleaned, but we couldn't get all of them out. The next morning I went to the church for Humanitarian, and a sweet older woman in our ward was all "WHAT happened in the Primary room?!" And I was all like "I don't know....thats terrible...who would do that?"
Gah. I'm such a jerk.


Lie #5:

When I was in high school, the Palmyra Temple was being dedicated and all the teenagers were invited to watch early that morning as it was broad casted to the Stake Center. But we would miss a little bit of school, which was alright with us! So my mom wrote me a note to miss the first part of school and arranged for another lady from church to take me to school after. But when it came time to go back to school, some of my other friends weren't going to go. So I told the lady that I had another ride and went back to one if their houses with them. I stayed at my friend's house ALL DAY. Like I didn't come home until like seven that night. My mom was PISSED and wasn't going to write a note for me to be excused the next day. So I forged a new one. (Guy I sound horrible!) But my mom had called the school the day before, so they knew I didn't have a note from her. I think I got detention for that one. And a lot of grounding at home.


So there you go, can we still be friends? Tell me some of your lies so I feel better.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Its raining here today. It rained yesterday too. Because of the rain, we've had quite a few conversations with our Oldest about why the rain is good.

It usually starts like this:


Oldest: "I HATE THE RAIN!!!!!"

Me: "No! The rain is good!"

Oldest: "Oh yeah, rain is good because...it helps plants grow. Right?"

Me: "Yup, and it gives animals something to drink..."

Oldest: "Uh huh, and it cleans the windows on the house."

Me: "Whatever. Leave me alone."


Then there's the conversations we have with the Middle Child. Which are always extremely interesting.

Right now we have some guys outside digging up our sidewalk, I'm assuming its for the irrigation crap thats been going on for the last year or so, but who knows.

As we drive by the workers and the huge hole in our sidewalk:

Middle Child: "What are they digging up?"

Me: "I don't know."

Middle Child: "I think they're digging up an animal."

Me: "An animal huh?"

Middle Child: "Yeah, I think its a deer."

Me: "Wow. A deer."

Middle Child: "Noooo, not a deer. I think its a giraffe."

Me: "Hmmmm, maybe."

Middle Child: "Not a giraffe, its a bear."

Me: "What are we talking about again?"



And that is my life.

I love Babies!

So just wanted to share real quick some pictures I took of my nephew this last weekend, isn't he the sweetest thing?!











P.S. Thanks for your suggestions about some books, always looking for a good book to read! Oh and I forgot to put in there 'Austenland' which I just adored! Okay then, later!

Reading and Rating

Okay, I've been out of it for awhile. I apologize, I really do. Life has been a little crazy and I'm tired (as usual), and I just haven't had the energy to blog. Poo.

One of the things that has taken up my time though, is:

BOOKS!

I love to read and I've read a lot of books this year. I just finished up with 'Wicked', can't see how it could possibly be a fun, cheery musical but whatever. I also re-read some of the Twilight books because they make me happy. I read the 'Uglies' series, and also the 'Fablehaven' series (which was probably my favorite thing I read this whole year). And 'The Candy Shop Wars', which was excellent (by Brandon Mull of Fablehaven as well). Throw in there 'Atonement' and this one book a lady at church let me borrow that was really good but I can't remember the name; and I re-read the last Harry Potter book too. I think there's a few more, but thats about all I can think of right now.

So do you see a sort of trend with the books I read? They're all pretty much teenager books. And they're all teenager books because I really honest-to-goodness wish books had rating systems. Hooey does some of that stuff sneak up on you! Even teenage stuff can have garbage in it, but it was a lot worse in the "adult" books I read. And I'm not reading trashy love novels where you'd expect that kind of stuff, I'm reading about the Wicked Witch of the West, why so much sex people?! And even though for the most part the story was really interesting, sheesh why does the author have to be so dang graphic? I mean you can go places and not have to go that far.

Don't judge me that I still read the whole thing, even though it made me squirm with uncomfortable-ness. Uncomfortability? Uncomfortabull? (I know thats not a real word. Shutty.)

So I told you guys we had family pictures taken, I just got an e-mail from Tiffany and here are a couple for you to see! You can see more on her blog if you want.






You know, the only thing I'm dissapointed about is there aren't any individual shots of just ME. I was fully expecting her to be stunned over my amazing...well, stunning beauty. But no, she missed it. Whatever, I bet it would've just been awkward for her. Yeah, thats it.