Monday, January 31, 2011

Tarnish on a Bright Penny

My oldest got baptized this weekend. It was amazing. It was lovely. It was exciting. It was neat. It was long and exhausting. :)

We had such a great weekend, and my daughter just blows me away sometimes. Its good to see your kids in a different light sometimes, and realize how good they are and how amazing they are and how lucky you are to have them as part of your family. It was a good day like that. She looked so beautiful in her white dress. (I would add a picture here except I was a horrible mom and didn't take one. I will though. I will dress her back up and take a bunch of beautiful pictures of her and totally redeem myself!)

The sad thing though is that when I think about yesterday the one thing that sticks out to me is this little run-in I had with my grandpa. My grandpa is getting old, he is having a lot of health problems and over the last ten years his personality has just taken worse and worse turns, along with his health. Lately he's been falling down a lot and we're all worried about how much time he has left.

So why do I want to avoid him?

It makes me feel awful because I love my grandpa very much. I always felt like I tried really hard to take what he said and forget it and to still try to see who he really is and I always tried to do nice things for him and that he got that. But this last year since we've been home I can hardly stand it. A few years ago, he would say horrible or embarrassing things, and it would be okay because I knew he was just trying to be funny even if it wasn't. It was more of an innocent thing, I knew he wasn't trying to be mean, he was trying to make a joke. But the last year? He's trying to take me aside and tell me what he doesn't like about me.

So back to the baptism. After everything is done and everyone is standing up and hugging and I'm thanking people for coming and its such a nice feeling, my little grandpa hobbles over and I hug him and say I'm so happy he could come and what does he say to me? He tells me that he wishes I would go home and take off the silly nylons I'm wearing and burn them because I look ridiculous. I'm shocked. I'm trying to make the best of the situation and still let him know that it hurts my feelings, so I ask him why is he saying that right now when we've had such a special evening, its not the right time to be saying that. He tells me he wasn't trying to hurt my feelings but I look so ridiculous. I try and make a joke and say "Well grandpa, how about we make a deal? You worry about whats on your feet and I'll worry about whats on mine?" And he says "Well, I'm just wearing normal socks."

I just had to turn and walk away. Except after that whole evening where I barely teared up, I started bawling. I think I scared a couple people even. But it just hurt me so much that he would say that and besides making me feel picked on, he ruined that whole moment for me. And although I shouldn't let it and I should know better, that he's old and sick and his mind isn't the same as it used to be, that I shouldn't hold it against him, it still hurt me. And its heartbreaking. On so many levels, heartbreaking that I let it bother me, heartbreaking that he's sick, heartbreaking that our relationship has changed so much. Its just sad.

And I'm sad because it STILL bothers me today. It still stings that he said that. Maybe I sound vain; like its just a pair of nylons, who cares? But its just not the grandpa I know, and it hurts. It builds on other things he's said and I don't know how to deal with it. Talking to him doesn't work, he just isn't all there, so I guess I have to suck it up and keep that in mind. I just had a little thought...maybe I want to avoid him because I don't want my good memories of him tainted by these bad ones, I don't want these memories at all. When he does pass, I want to think of him in a good way, I don't want to think of these past few years that are sad and mean and sometimes awful. I also don't want to think the last few years of my grandpa's life, I spent trying to stay away from him. Its hard.

But really guys, before that situation, it was so neat to watch my baby get baptized and see her so excited and responsible and ready to grow up. Make her stop growing up please!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Beach Pictures

So here's some pictures from the beach the one nice day we've had this week, now its all doom and gloom again. Seriously, its so gray here all the time its super depressing. So even though it was pretty cold, it was great to be outside in the sun. Plus, the little boy got to get some energy out and thats always a plus! Anyway, hope you enjoy the pictures:

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Just a Quick Hello!

I know. I haven't posted in forever. I'm still tired and the baby is JUST starting to get back to normal. But I'm still tired.

I even went to bed at 8:30 last night. SERIOUSLY. I told my husband we were such losers for being in bed at 8:30, but I was getting a migraine and I just couldn't take anymore. My husband, he's just lazy.

Today is like the first day I've seen the sun shine in like a week or more. Its been raining, raining, RAAAAIIINING!

So I'm going to go shower, get the kids ready and we're going to the beach. Yup, it will be freezing. But the sun is shining and I want to take some pictures and let my son run around. It will be good and I will be happy for a break from potty training (i.e. little boy wieners).

Hope you have an enjoyable day too!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Good Thing That Baby Is Cute

My 8 month old is sick. He's had a very low grade fever that dies down during the daytime and comes back at night. You know, when we're SUPPOSED to be sleeping. And because it comes with a runny nose that makes breathing difficult, no one is getting much sleep.

Well, let me take that back. The other kids are sleeping just fine. For the most part, the husband is sleeping just fine. Its the baby and ME. Emphasis on ME thats not sleeping well. Of course I feel sorry for the baby, but he get to take naps all day while I walk around like a zombie. And really I have to be inside my own head and I really feel sorry for myself when I have to deal with myself on little to no sleep. Did that make sense? I TOLD YOU I HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING MUCH!

I get cranky when I'm tired.

I decided this morning that I shouldn't be allowed to mother before noon-ish. I'm just not a morning person and it really isn't fair to the children to have to be around me before then. I wouldn't mind sleeping in either.

If you guys are here visiting this week from Regarding Annie, thanks for stopping by, hope you stay for awhile!

For my great friends who already know me, I won a little contest Annie was having and she linked to my blog all this week. Thats what the line above is about. Don't be jealous, I love you the most.

Thanks for the links Annie, google analytics says I went from a mere 30 visits (on a good day) to over 100! Wowsers.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Sage Advice

Just a tip for you husbands out there:

If you are in the car with your wife, and somehow get into an argument where your wife asks you a question; the longer you wait to answer it, the more mad she will get. Or if she makes a really good point and you just sit there for 20 minutes without a word, she will be sitting there working out more and more points to her advantage. So be smart men. Answer right away, say you're sorry right away, think of something RIGHT AWAY, because the more time your wife has to sit and think about things, the madder she will be.

And you're welcome.


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

YouTube, I Love You

Oh wow people. I need to catch my breath because I have been laughing so hard I very nearly barfed. For real. I wouldn't be a good friend or lover of comedy if I did not share these videos with you!

I was over visiting Jillybean's blog where she had posted this video her kid's teacher had shared with them, click over there to see the first video.

And this is the second video:

And the third video:

I am not kidding you when I say I was laughing so hard there was some retching and disturbing noises coming from me. I hope you enjoy as much as I did!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Things I Notice in the Bathroom

*Why does my shower curtain say "dry clean only"? I mean come on, its a SHOWER CURTAIN, wouldn't they think its going to get wet? Dummies.

*My body wash has little "moisture bead" things, and I can not use it without popping the beads first, its like miniature bubble wrap or something.

*It needs to be cleaned.

*How does my husband get toothpaste so high up on the mirror, is he spitting up toward the ceiling to see if he can still make it in the sink?

*I would never want to write a note to my husband in lipstick on the mirror because: A--it would ruin my lipstick and B--I would have to clean it off and you know that has to suck.

*I think I'm experiencing hearing loss because my blow dryer is so loud.

*It is an evil place because my scale lives there.

Thats all I've got for today. Do you have as deep of thoughts as I do, in YOUR bathroom?

Monday, January 10, 2011

Boy oh Boy

I have four children. My first two were girls, my second two: BOYS.

Boys. Boys, boys, boys, boys...boys. Boys are a whole other creature I tell you!

From the very beginning they smell worse than girls. I'm serious! Boys like to play in the garbage can. They like to run in circles for half an hour straight. They're rough and loud and curious and have so much energy I wish I could channel it to use some myself. Reverse psychology doesn't work on them at all. If I told my girls to go take a bath and they whine about it, all I would have to say is "Fine. Then you CAN'T take a bath!" and they would be begging me to take a bath. Boys? Not one bit. I can threaten my son, "Do you need a TIME OUT?!" (my girls would be quaking) and he would be "Yes. I DO want a time out! PLEASE GIVE ME A TIME OUT!!" (yelled in the middle of church), its exasperating.

Probably the worst thing about boys though? Their boy parts. Yes. You read that right. Their boy parts. They are like OBSESSED with them. Potty training my son has been like living in a nudist resort. And I'm gonna be honest, I just don't want to see wiener's like...ever. Even if they are just my little boy's. I feel like I'm being visually assaulted all the time. I'm thinking boys' think its like their own personally handle of some sort, just something to hang on to constantly. Goodness sakes Son, its not a toy!

My younger son is eight months old now and I see him doing the exact same things as my older son. He's walking now and he is into EVERYTHING. He just learned how to open all the cupboards in the kitchen, and do you think he wants to play in the cupboard with pots and pans? NO, he wants the cupboard with dangerous chemicals that should probably be up high anyway! What is wrong with him?!

But you know what? Boys are so awesome too. And I love mine more than anything. Ya know what I just thought of--boys are like puppies! So cute and adorable and lovable and so destructive...

Friday, January 7, 2011

Why I Hate Growing My Hair Out But Do it Anyway

For two years I had super short hair. Like boy short. And I LOVED it. It was funky, it was EASY and it made me feel put together every day. No pony tails means your hair gets fixed everyday (and it only takes five minutes!). You save tons of money on shampoo and your shower time is cut waaaay down.

The bad parts of short hair:

*You don't realize how cold your neck gets--really!

*You have to keep cutting it CONSTANTLY.

*Sometimes you walk by a mirror and think you're a man.

*You wonder if you look like a lesbian.

*The grow out stage is HORRIBLE.

(Me with short hair last Christmas, I was pregnant hence the double chin)

So why do I not have super short hair anymore? I'm not really sure actually. The main reason honestly? I don't want to have the same haircut for years upon years upon years. My mom has had three haircuts her whole life. I can't do that. So its time for change.

Now that my hair is semi chin length I'm starting to get to the part where its fun to actually "style" my hair again. Things I couldn't do with super short hair. Like curling it. Or pulling it up. Or whatever. Bad parts of longer hair:

*It gets in my face all the time!! Its so annoying. Especially when I'm in bed and trying to sleep and my hair is like all up my nose, that didn't happen with short hair.

*My hair is everywhere again. When I wash my hair I swear I'm pulling it out by the fist fulls.

*It takes FOREVER to fix now. Blow drying used to take 2 minutes, now I'm in there for 10 before I even get to straighten it.

*Ugly grow out stage is well...ugly.

*My baby has hair to pull now.

(Me with my medium hair this Christmas. I was confused, hence the weird expression)

I really just wanted a change but man, growing your hair out SUCKS big time. So why do I do it? I think mostly because I'm stubborn.

Tune in later this week for how I want to cut my hair for the "in between" stage right now. I know you can't wait!! (I just love keeping you on the edge of your seat!) Please share your thoughts on hair growing out-ness, I would love to hear you hair growing stories!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

2010 Is Way Back Then

Well, its time again to take a look back before moving forward! That is, I'm taking a quick look at 2010 and telling you some of my favorite things (quick for you, this post took me FOREVER.)! If you'd like to check out past years you can see here and here.

Favorite Song:

Animal- Neon Trees

honorable mention:
If We Ever Meet Again- Timbaland ft. Katy Perry
I've Got A Brand New Pair of Roller Skates- Melanie Safka

Favorite Movie:

Harry Potter 7 (I haven't actually seen this yet, but I KNOW I will LOOOVE it!)

honorable mention:
Knight and Day
Despicable Me

Favorite TV Show:

Any of the Real Housewives

Favorite Book:

The Hunger Games (notice I did NOT say Mockingjay, I started reading this series earlier this year and just LOVED it, but the last book was pretty disappointing for me.)

Favorite Vacation:
Trip to Utah!

Favorite Outfit:
ugh. I'm STILL trying to lose the baby weight and I hate ALL OF MY CLOTHES. But what I would give to have this outfit from Victorias Secret:

(except I would keep my stomach well hidden. Ya know.)

Favorite Person(s):

Favorite Project:
painting the crib

Most Drastic Change:

Having a baby while Dave was in South Carolina for five months.


*Dream team (I was so lucky to find these girls this year!)

*Kimball David

*David coming home

*Utah trip

*fun summer

*Ocean Shores



*David being gone for five months

*crazy pregnant lady

*dislocated knee

*having a baby by myself :(

*scary neighbors (gun shots, lots of partying, police in the middle of the night. Yeah.)

Even with some of those things I wish I could change, it was a year that I will always remember, am hopefully stronger for and learned a lot from! We all have years that aren't what we hope they are, and some of the years are more than we could hope for. Its the hard that makes us appreciate the good and I'm grateful for our trials even though they're awful some days, because they help me become the person I want to be! Here's looking forward to 2011!