Well thank you so much to everyone and their great advice on my last post! It was really nice to hear your point of view and what you all do, it helped a lot, really!
So this is kind of where I'm coming from. I feel conflicted. I spent this last weekend on a sort of retreat for the older teenagers in our Ward. Okay wait, I'm just going to spell this out and not hold back anything. Sometimes I just give ya'll basics because sometimes I don't want you to know EVERYTHING about me (shocking I know, since I can share about my bodily functions and anything else you never wanted to know...). So, I've been with-holding information from you, and I'm sorry (and since I've built this up so much once I share you'll wonder what the big deal was, I'm sure).
So anyway, I'm laying it all out there (and if you're not Mormon, you probably won't get most of this, sorry). I'm the Young Women's President. Yup, I know, it's shocking. So I spent last Friday and Saturday up Provo Canyon camping with the Priest and Laurels in my Ward and Stake. It's a retreat we do every year with them, a time where we can have fun, play games, hear great speakers and stay up way too late. Every year they have an awesome speaker (two years ago it was THE Brad Wilcox--he was amazing), and we also hear from our Stake President. They talk very openly, even bluntly, to these teenagers about issues they may face, problems, how to be strong, how to be righteous--it's so wonderful I can't even tell you. And while I was sitting there, I kept thinking about this blog. Sad, I know. Not that I wanted to blog about the retreat, but that through my blog, I was not uplifting anyone, I wasn't showing anyone what a good person or example I can be. And I felt really sad. Thinking more about it, I know my mom would be totally ashamed, she's just not that open with silly/somewhat awkward things, she doesn't think it's appropriate to talk about a lot of the stuff I have here. (I will say, she is a little prudish, and I wouldn't/would never/couldn't pull things back to the level she has, but I understand her point as well.)
So anyway, like a lot of you said: Why do I blog? Who is my audience? What's the point?!
I'm not sure. I blog because it's fun! I blog because I enjoy making new friends! I blog because it gives me adult contact with people I really like and that keeps me sane!
But, is it not good? I don't know. If my Young Women read this, I don't think most of it would bother me, they'd probably tease me and say I'm silly. Which they already know. But if their parents read it? I might never be able to look in their faces. If my Stake President read it?! Oh, I'm mortified just thinking about it.
Not because I'm ashamed of the person I am, because I was being quite honest in my posts and letting the "me" shine. But mortified because I should be someone better, how can I ever be a "great lady" if I'm so inappropriate? I can see myself through two different eyes, one being silly and trying to be popular, the other being spiritual and possibly inspirational.
Sorry this is super long and somewhat depressing! I guess I'll have to find the balance (something you guys talked about as well), I still want to be funny and silly and REAL. But I don't want to be offensive, rude and inappropriate. And maybe sometimes I'll throw in a little bit of...uh..."wisdom". Who knows if I've got any of THAT in me!
Thanks for listening, and I give you kudos if you read all the way through that crazy talk!
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Melinda, I say this with all sincerity, but I truly do not know what you are talking about. I don't think you are inappropriate at all. I think you are real and honest, but not in a bad example kind of way.
ReplyDeleteI read enough "perfect" blogs to last me a lifetime. I think it's refreshing to read blogs of Mormon women who are completely normal. I think that sometimes we get into this trap of thinking that if we're not sharing our testimony every week, we're a bad example.
I will let you know that I've actually had many emails from non-members, asking about the church, and they told me they emailed me because they felt like I was approachable, wasn't going to preach to them, and wasn't going to judge them.
And if YOU'RE inappropriate, then maybe I really should be banned from the Internet!
First off, you are probably an AWESOME YW Prez!!! Second, this is going to be a long comment.
ReplyDeleteAnyway...I actually just had a "discussion" with my husband last Friday about blogging. He is a very reserved kind of guy...and I'm fairly open. I wanted to put up a picture of me breastfeeding...he thought it was too sacred.
I understand where you are coming from. It is hard to know--am I helping others? am I offending others? does it make me feel better to blog about this? could someone benefit from this post?
During the discussion with the hubs, I literally cried because I feel like I don't have IRL friends that I can really talk to, and who really understand me. I'm super crunchy, and all of my friends think I'm kooky. It's hard. But online, there are young moms who are just like me. They are REAL. It makes all the difference to me to know that there are women out there (who get pimples on their cheeks) that I can understand and relate to.
I think you're great! And remember, your stake president probably laughs at the silly things that happen in life, too!
Thanks guys, you make me feel so much better!
ReplyDeleteKristina, in no way should you be banned from the internet! I'm just focusing on certain people that I know would think bad of me if they read some of the stuff I've written. And I don't think that what I've written is bad, I think its more that I don't like to dissapoint anyone. Does that make sense? Thanks for sharing that people have e-mailed you, that really does make me feel better!
Mallory, I really get what you mean. Sometimes I think bloggy friends are better than real friends (sometimes, but I have awesome friends!) only because I can be "ME" and it's like the people who like my personality come to me. And thats fantastic!
I never claimed I wasn't dramatic. haha I'm just a person that feels a lot of emotion, and I'm trying to learn not to let it take me so far up and so far down. :) (Obviously, not working with this post!)
I don't think you're inapropriate. I think that the media matters. If you were giving a talk in church, then, yes, some of your material would be considered inappropriate. But here in bloggy land the rest of us bloggers want to read about REAL people, and not, like Kristina said, PERFECT people. We want to know that we are not alone out there with our huge red noses and our gripes with our husbands. And how do you know you're not doing any good? You are a wild and crazy girl and you are doing it without sleeping around and drinking and all that other fun stuff. Maybe that is the light that you will shine on someone and they will think, "Hmmm, she doesn't need all that to have fun. Maybe I don't either."
ReplyDeleteSorry this is so long, but do you understand what I'm saying? I think it is always important to try and be better, but I don't think you need to be perfect every step of the way.
I agree with what everyone has already said, and just wanted to add: I'm a mormon woman too. Does that mean I'm expected to blog about spiritual things? I hope not. I blog because it's fun for me and I like to make people laugh at the little things. I'm not good at laying the spiritual stuff out on the table. It just makes me uncomfortable. Does that mean I don't feel it? Nope. Other people are wonderful at inspiring people. I'm sure you have lots of wisdom being the YW pres and all. Me however: Not really. I'll just leave that to someone else. Your blog isn't who you are as a whole. It's just something you do.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, since you're the young women prez (holy cow, woman! You must be so busy!) I do understand the feeling of responsibility you have--yet you need an outlet. I don't think anything you say here is a problem but I do understand why you might feel like your blog persona is pretty different from your young women president persona. I'm not saying you're fake--quite the opposite. This is clearly a side to your personality and it feels good to express it. This is a safe place to do that. If you are still worried about your YW reading it or whomever, you could maybe change your blog to something more anonymous or one they don't know about. If they don't know about this one, than I wouldn't worry about it at all.
ReplyDeleteWell I am new here, but I am with Kristina. You have not been over the edge at all, and I think the YW can read it! And since I am going to stalk you 'cause you are my new BFF, (it is sad that we think so much alike), and not to sound all spiritual or anything...but WHO chose you to be YW Prez? Yep, I think he knows you pretty well and my moto is if that little red flag goes up in your head about something you write, don't write it...just sayin'...Keep it real, I think you are great!
ReplyDeleteI think everyone else has said just what I wanted to say but I wanted you to know I stopped by. :) I think you're super and ditto to everyone else's stuff. Keep it coming.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, think it is "appropriate", & don't think you need to be "embarrassed" about any of the content. It is you--the real you. I think anyone that knows you (in "real" life) will love this blog too.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't change a thing :) BTW--I almost blogged about the forest that was growing on my legs, but didn't have the guts to take a picture of my legs before I shaved ;0
I have only been reading your posts since we met ten days ago (smile), but I think the fact that you are reflecting shows some real maturity. I wouldn't worry too much. What I have read so far are genuine thoughts from a spunky, cute young mom.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kristina P & Homer Queen! There is nothing inappropriate about your blog, but then again I'm a pretty silly person too!
ReplyDeleteI think you should write whatever moves you. If you feel like writing something silly, then do it. If you feel like writing something spiritual then do that too.
If you write something and aren't too sure about it, save it to draft, think about it and then delete or post it. The bottom line is be yourself.
Mel- Sorry I've been gone so long. I had inlaws in town. Explains so much right!!! First of all I agree with everyone else. you have never been inappropriate. you've been real. and not like bad real and we are trying to tell you that you are real so you don't feel bad. One thing I've learned from moving out of Utah is that everyone there is under such a magnifiying glass. and its hard to live up to that scrunitny. You are a real, fun, loud, awesome kind of girl. are you going to say/do things that you might cringe at after you say/do it. sure. everyone does. but the difference is that you are not trying to be a fake good person. you are trying to be a real good person. and real good people are the best. Don't be so hard on yourself. you don't do drugs, you don't sleep around, you don't drink, swear, be hurtful and mean to others around you. You are a great person and a great example. I love being your friend and I'm sure all the people who know you feel the same.
ReplyDelete