Saturday, May 2, 2009

It's a Monster!

I look icky.

If you were in my house RIGHT NOW, I'm pretty sure you would run away screaming. Really, I'm not a pretty sight.

Here's why:

~My nose looks the equivalent of rotten tomato. It looks like a tomato exploded on my face. I have used an ENTIRE box of tissues in one day, blowing and wiping and blowing until the skin beneath my nostrils is completely cracked and raw. You don't understand, I HATE sniffers and I hate snot. So a blowin' I will go.

~I have a hickey on my chin. (Hickey? Is that how you spell that? Whatever.) A HICK-EE! My son is teething right now and likes to put anything and everything into his mouth. Yes, including my chin. I had no idea him sucking on my chin for two seconds would leave a hickey. But it did, and I look like a weirdo with a pervo husband.

~I got very little sleep last night, so my cute crows feet now look like old woman wrinkles. It's so very pleasant.

~My right breast is bigger than my left. I'm weaning my son (thats breastfeeding talk for the rest of ya'll), and the milk in that side just WON'T DRY UP. And it's painful. And making me appear lopsided.

So there ya have it. I'm a freak. Hopefully tomorrow I can get my mojo back and look fantastic, yes?! Here's hoping...

And how do you look today? Flippin' hot right?!


  1. please don't go out, you might scare young children!

  2. Yes, but scaring the children is the only perk of looking like this...

  3. Those chapped noses really hurt too. Sorry you are so under the weather. Take care. And I am a snot-hater too. The worst thing about working with little kids is seeing so much of it!

  4. Sounds like a fabulous day! Get better!

  5. OH NO Melinda, put a freaking bag over your head ok. (j/k) I'd love you anyway with the dried snot on your face, hickey from son ( or so you say??) and wrinkles the size of grand canyon (don't take me there girl) we love ya anyway.
    it's a good excuse to just BE and not do your hair, makeup or even shower.

  6. Feeling about as good as you look! For your nose if you wash it off about every other tme you blow it won't be as painful. Weird, I know but it works!

  7. The pervo husband comment has me crackin up! I'm sorry your face hurts but I'm glad it could make me laugh. :)

    Good luck with the weaning. For some reason with my last it took forever too. Not fun.

  8. I don't want to kick you when you're down, but I agree with Debbie. The whole hickey on the chin thing is pretty hilarious.

  9. Milk it honey! Stay in bed and make everyone wait on you hand and foot, send them all to church while you ditch. Oh, and fake asleep when they call you. Oh and cry, that doesn't work for me but it might for you...

  10. I'm so not surprised! That baby is a lover!

  11. I'm always flippin' hot. ;)

  12. I made the mistake of leaving for 3 days when I weaned one of my children (she was almost 2 1/2). Oh my aching breasts!!!!! Never, never again will I cut "cold turkey"--even though she didn't nurse a lot, it hurt a lot to stop!

    I'm sure you don't look too hideous--just a bit lop-sided ;)

  13. My son used to do the same thing to my chin, only he didn't stop when his teeth came in and he would bite my chin.
    He's 8 now, and thankfully, over that phase.

    Hope you get feeling better.


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