Tuesday, February 10, 2009

My Husband, the Six Year Old

Every once in awhile my husband talks in his sleep.

This started right after we first were married. The first time I remember him talking in his sleep, he rolled over and said ever so sweetly, "The perfect snowflake..."

I was shocked! I looked over at him, saw that he was completely asleep and proceeded to bust up laughing. Its hysterical when he talks in his sleep!

Over the years, I've come to realize that when my husband's asleep, I think in his mind he is somewhere from six to twelve years old. I know this because he talks like a little kid, in this soft, high pitch, sort of whiney voice. Its cute and hilarious all at the same time!

Some nights I can tell he's going to talk, usually he's gone to bed early and I've stayed up late to um....I don't know, blog or something. (duh) I've also tried really hard to have conversations with him, and I could really do that if I could just stop laughing long enough to actually talk to him...

This is my favorite "conversation" we've had of all time:

Husband rolling around on the bed, moaning.

Me: Whats wrong?!

Husband: (remember, this is in a little kid whiney voice) My tummy hurts!

Me: *cracking up* You're tummy hurts?! (Oh and keep in mind, I talk to him like a mom talks to a baby, very cooey) :)

Husband: Yeah, my tummy hurts bad!

Me: *snickering* WHY?!

Husband: I ate rocks!

Me: *shaking with laughter* You ate rocks?!

Husband: Yeah, BIG ONES! Eeerrrrrrmmmm... (rolling around again)

Me: *trying not to pee my pants* Big ones huh? Are you okay?

Husband: Yeah, I want my mommy!

Me: *peeling laughter all over again* Really. Who's your mommy?

Husband: Grrrrrrrrrr (rolls over)

Me: *hehehehehehe* Husband?! Husband?! Who do you love?

Husband: I love my mommy.

Me: *immediately stops laughing, eyes narrowing* Who ELSE do you love?

Husband: I love Melinda...

Me: *Grinning again--that's right sucka* Do you love oldest daughter?

Husband: Mmmm hmmmmm, we play toys!

Me:*BAAAA HAHAHAHA* OH yeah? What kind of toys?

Husband: I like baseball.

Me: *Duh, he loves baseball. Rolling eyes.* Where are your toys?

Husband: At home, in my toy box.

Me: *deep breaths in and out.* Oh, you have a toy box?!

Husband: Mmmmmm hmmmmmm, a BIG one!


I can only last so long people. Then I have to wake him up and tell him how hilarious he is. He usually looks at me with sleep in his eyes, nods and rolls over. A little annoyed. But I love it. I totally love it.

I used to talk in my sleep, but now I'm not even sure I know what real sleep is anymore. To talk in my sleep would require actually going into REM mode or whatever, and since I barely close my eyes before some child is awake and crying, I wouldn't know what REM even is. But you know, its all worth it if I get to talk to Husband while he's asleep...

Some other time I'll tell you other reasons where my Husband acts like a six year old. :)


  1. My husband tells me I talk in my sleep, but I don't think we've ever had conversations. He snores, so we're even.

  2. "The Perfect Snowflake" I tried to say that in a high little kid voice just now and I made myself laugh.

    Oh my gosh that is awesome!

    My sister in law likes to ask my brother in law questions when he comes out of surgery and is totally out of it. Its highly amusing.

    oh and chad talks in his sleep too. but in portuguese. so I try to remember what he is saying so I can ask him later but I always forget.

  3. My hubby talks in his sleep sometimes, too. It always makes me giggle, but it's never quite so funny as what reading this was for me! HILARIOUS! My husband would NEVER let me get away with posting something like this! Ah, MAN! I am still laughing!

  4. My husband talks in his sleep too, I also have conversations with him also. Hilarious. but now one of my daughters and my son talk in there sleep too. must be in the genes.

  5. That's hilarious. My daughter talks in her sleep. I'll have to try talking to her one of these days. . .

  6. Wow, you could have fun with that!! You should tape it sometime--then post it HA HA HA. very good story ..you "perfect little snowflake" ahhhh, that sounds so sweet. (he surely must have been referring to you. My husband is pretty hysterical himself with the "puff" he makes all night long..like he's blowing out candles. I always tease him. Who's birthday party were you at last night..big eye roll. (he has gorgeous brown eyes so it's worth it)

  7. Very funny story! you should video tape it. Or whatever it is they call it these days . .

  8. HAHAHahaha, I've heard that story a couple times and it NEVER gets old!! I used to try to get Brenda to tell me stuff in her sleep, and I have had a full ten minute conversation with you in your sleep!!


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