Saturday, January 31, 2009
When I was 12, almost 13, I started Jr. High. Unlike Middle School, you go from seventh to ninth grade (instead of sixth to eighth). It all started in seventh grade, the very first day of school. I had always wanted to take band but didn't in elementary school (something about no talent, discipline...whatever.). So I took band as an elective in seventh grade (they can't stop me now! Wheee!). The first day, we were able to choose what instrument we were to be playing. I really wanted something pretty and small. What I REALLY wanted was to play the flute. But I had never in my life played a flute. The way the band teacher helped you pick an instrument was by letting you try out a couple and see what you liked. I got in the long line of every other girl, all wanting to play the flute and waited my turn. When I got there, the teacher held the mouthpiece up--in his hands--and told me to blow. That's it. I had NEVER played, any tips Band Teacher sir?! So I blew and nothing happened. He told me to go try something else. My mom had played the french horn, and at the young age of 12 I still adored my mom, so I tried that out. I rocked the french horn. So I became a horn player instead of a pretty flute player.
When I got to my seat the next day, in the horn section, I sat next to the cutest, most adorable, I was now completely in love with, also played the french horn, boy! I mean it, it was totally like kid love at first sight! I adored him, and he tolerated me. After awhile though we were really great friends. Even, he was my best friend. I would talk to him on the phone, I sat next to him every stinkin day, and just obsessed over him year after year! This continued on through Junior High. I don't think there's a person who knew me that didn't know how much I loved this guy. When we hit ninth grade, we got to be pretty close, like I said before. At the end of ninth grade, they have a Ninth Grade Dance (yes, that was what it was called. And yes, I grew up in a bland, bland world.). I was only fifteen and not allowed to date, but I snuck a date in anyway. I really REALLY wanted to go with Mr. French Horn, but no he didn't go at all. (Plus he didn't ask me.) At the end of the year, he wrote in my yearbook something to the effect that he had wanted to go to the dance with ME, and that he wanted to hang out, maybe go to the movies... OH MY GOSH!! All my dreams coming true!!!
That summer after ninth grade, I had a babysitting job. I babysat for some people from church all day long. I would talk to Mr. French Horn pretty much every day. And after I talked to him, I would watch Dirty Dancing. I LOVED that movie. That summer I watched that movie every. single. day. By the end of the summer, I stopped watching the whole thing and only fast forwarded it to the parts I loved best (yes, this was before DVD's!). Here's a great montage:
Oooh tingly I am now....
So anyway, to finish the story: Mr. French Horn was just "too cool" for me, he could never stoop to date someone as lowly as me. Although he flirted with the idea all the time (not me, just the idea.). We went on a movie date once with a friend of mine and her boyfriend, and we were seen by some really "popular" kids and he didn't talk to me for like a year after that. I know I was so stupid to be stuck on him for so many years, but he was my real unrequited love.
I'm so glad I'm married to an awesome guy and I don't have to deal with stupid high school crap anymore!
Okay, gotta go watch Dirty Dancing now!! *so excited!! squeal!!!*
I'm still a little traumatized by the whole affair.
There were a few hitches in the plan. And by "hitches" I mean COMPLETE AND UTTER HORRIBLENESS!
#1. Biggest problem of the day: Husband told me--HE TOLD ME!!!--that he worked today at noon. So I planned the party from ten to twelve. I planned it that way so he would be here and could help for atleast most of the time. I SPECIFICALLY planned it around HIS schedule!!!! I just wanted to make sure that was clear. So last night, I'm talking about party plans and whatnot and he says "I don't work at noon, I work at nine. AM." I could have KILLED him!!!! >fuming<
#2. I didn't go to bed until 1am. I can't sleep when I have something going on the next day. There are things I don't want to forget and so I write them down. I go lay down, and POP, there's another thing I don't want to forget or some other idea. It's horrible. Not a lot of sleeping going on with me last night.
#3. Second daughter had a horrible night as well. I don't know if she was having night terrors or what but she kept waking up crying and screaming and was inconsolable. Add that to the already short on sleep/super stressed out night, I was not a happy camper.
#4. No husband helping=evil mom. I had things I HAD to do before everyone got here. Like frosting the cake and getting games ready and mopping the floor. If it wasn't my son screaming, it was second daughter. SCREAMING. CRYING. WAILING. GNASHING OF TEETH. And that wasn't just the kids. That was a lot of ME. My daughter spilled milk all over the floor. Usually stuff like that doesn't bother me, but at that moment I thought a blood vessel in my brain was going to explode. It was a scary morning for my kids. (And a little unnerving for me as well.)
#5. Um, I don't think there were any other huge problems, but I hate not ending this on #5. So yeah...
I kept trying to tell myself in my head that once the party started it would be fine! It would all work out. I just couldn't grasp it with all the screaming. It felt very hopeless for awhile. And then the thought hit me to call my friend. Even though by the time she got here there wasn't much left to do, just the thought that someone was coming to be here for me, was so relieving. I can't begin to express how grateful I am for that relief.
The party was great, it didn't feel like it lasted forever, it didn't feel awful or stressful. The boy only held on to my leg and screamed a couple times, but we got through it! Why all the stress?!
But isn't that what life is like though? Stressful and hopeless and full of screaming, but bearable (and even enjoyable) because you know there is someone there for you. Someone who can pick you up and carry you the rest of the way.
Now I'm going to dust myself off (shower), think about the lesson I learned (no more birthday parties EVER), and have a very enjoyable rest of the day! Wishing you the same!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I was firmly in denial thinking that somehow through space and time (I watched Lost again last night), it just hadn't gotten to anyone's computer, except for Wendy's. Or that there was a government take-over of my blog, sensitive information they didn't want leaked... but then... it hit me.
OOOoooohhhhhhh.... realization dawning.
No one wants the skinny chick to talk about food.
Right? Am I right? Its kind of a taboo thing, right? Well, how do you know that picture over there <------- isn't from like seven years ago? And photo shopped? Or even ME?! Does it really matter? Who cares! Skinny or fat, we all have to eat.
So, I thought I should let you know. Just in case. Some other taboo things I may or may not talk about at some point:
*Dirty Dancing and how much I love it
*hitting a kid with glasses (shockingly, not that hard to do)
*boiling baby kittens
Okay, so now you know it. I'm controversial! You can either be apart of it, or fight the inevitable. You know you want to join in, loosen up and have a good time! So do it! :)
*If for some reason you just forgot to comment or didn't want to and none of this has anything to do with weight issues: I totally get it. In fact, I ASSUMED that. No hate mail okay? (why would I get hate mail? I don't know, now I've scared myself!) But we all know what 'assume' means, so I tried not to. And this is what you get, comment next time or it could get scary! hahahahahaha
p.s. I've promised myself that blogging is only going to be fun and I won't weigh (teehee) my self worth on how many comments I have or whatnot, so note the sarcasm. :) (meaning: I'm okay, I'm not upset, I still love you all!)
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
I feel like such an animal! Just picking and pulling apart the yumminess....mmmmmm.
And of course I'm thinking about all the times I've been told how bad the skin is for you. Okay? But then why is that the part that TASTES SO FREAKIN GOOD?!
I know my ponderings are super deep and all, and that this question has NEVER been asked before. But why is it that the things that taste the very very BEST are so bad for you?!
I've considered a few explanations for this.
All the deceased mother's in the world have come back to haunt us. "Eat your veggies Dearest!! NO? Then I'll make all the yummy stuff cause you to be fat and miserable!! Mwaaa hahahahaha!"
It's a government take-over. They make bad food taste good, so we will eat more and more of it, and soon they'll put little computer chips in them and take over our minds.
It's a government take-over part two. The government doesn't want our country to become too over-populated so we eat crap and die younger.
Fast food corporations hate farmers. Their dads beat up their dads and its a full blown war of foods now. (We can see who's winning yes?)
Some evil genius somewhere has a really SICK sense of humor. And if I ever find him I'm going to poke him in the eye, kick him in the shin and run away quickly... Oh and I think he wants to take over the world, or the government.
I'm really not sure which one it is or if its all of them together.... What are your theories?
Fill me in while I clean the grease off the keyboard.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Guess what? I have a hive right on my left wrist! And it's itchy! It just popped up like twenty minutes ago and I keep subconsciously scratching it. I don't know about you, but I get hives all the time! All of a sudden my leg will itch and I'll scratch and before you know it, HIVES. Yes, I have lots of allergies if you were wondering. I usually can just put some bag balm on it and it will be better.
You know, bag balm. Do YOU have some at your house? Its fantastic! My family growing up always had a huge thing of vaseline to use, but after I got married my father-in-law introduced me to the miracle that is Bag Balm. AND since moving to Utah, I hear of more and more people and their uses for it.
Uses like chapstick. Yes, I have big lips (the better to kiss you with my dear!), and they split and crack all the time. When they're too bad for carmex to help, I go for the bag balm.
Minor scrapes and abrasions. I work at a daycare, so with the amount of handwashing that goes on I get VERY dry hands. I could use the bag balm just for that, BUT I also get little paper cuts and nicks because of the dry hands. And right away I put on the bag balm. Also we use it instead of neosporin, works fantastically.
Diaper rash. When our daughter was born she got a yeast infection pretty bad, before we knew it was a yeast infection, our doctor's office told us to use bag balm for diaper rash! The freakin pediatrician, a DOCTOR, told us to use bag balm! We were like COOL, even our doctor knows how awesome bag balm is! And you know what?! It really does work!
Breastfeeding. Do you know how expensive a tube of lanolin is?! Well guess what bag balm has in it? The same stuff as what you use for cracked nipples! Seriously! Sure you could just take what they give you in the hospital, but that little tube is the size of my pinky toe and whatcha gonna do when that runs out?! Get ya some bag balm!
I already told you about itchy skin and rashy stuff. But probably the funniest thing I've ever heard bag balm used for was from my husband's grandpa. We were having a good ol' conversation about how wonderful bag balm is (surprise surprise, his grandpa LOVES bag balm), and he was saying different uses for it and said something about "piles". I was like what the heck? So later I was reading in a birth book about hemorrhoids, and that sometimes its called "the piles". EWW. But anyway, I guess some people use bag balm for THAT as well. Hey, just wanted to show you the versatility. Sorry if it went a little too far.
So run out and get some people! Its in the pet section of the store, because if you REALLY wanted to, its actual purpose is for cow's utters. Ha, who has cows and puts bag balm on COW's nipples when you can put it on your own! Ha! ha ha ha! Silly silly people...
oh p.s. If you're wondering how long it lasts, we've had our green can o' magic for about five years and are only maybe a fourth of the way down, and my in-laws have had their can for forever. Just sayin'. Oh, and ignore the smell when you put it on, I promise it doesn't last more than a couple minutes.... *shifty eyes*
Monday, January 26, 2009
Why am I so tired?
Well, the little baby boy that lives here and insists that we feed and care for him, has RSV. Ick. He can't breath and is all mucousy. Plus he has ear infections in both his ears. And eye infections in both his eyes. The kid is a mess! I wonder why he chose to stay here when our capabilities are obviously lacking in the sicky department? Well, he's stuck now so we've put him on a strict medicinal diet. Two drops in each eye, morning and night. Also, ear medication, morning and night. Steroids morning and night too. Extensive snot sucking before eating and sleeping. Oh and the best part: THE NEBULIZER. We are now the very proud owners of a nebulizer. If you haven't had to deal with one (THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS!!!!!), its a little machine for babies that is the equivalent of an inhaler. You put some medicine in a little doohickee, and turn it on and vapor comes through a little mouthpiece that you ironically hold in said baby's mouth. The nebulizer will be used every three to four hours all day long, oh and once in the middle of the bloody night. So since Friday night I've been up at three thirty or so for the twenty minutes it takes for the medicine to vaporize. (Except for last night and Saturday night, where his dad got up...so YES, technically I've only done it Friday night...and well....SHUT UP! I don't want to hear it!! I'm FLIPPIN TIRED!! I've still had to get up the rest of the night to deal with the hacking and the coughing and the crying and the feeding, so there! Sorry, when I'm really tired I have random outbursts of yelling accompanied by obscenities.) So, son had another Dr.'s appointment this morning to check on his progress and will have to go back AGAIN on Thursday. That will make three times in less than a week. And guess what?! It's oldest daughter's birthday on Friday! A birthday in which we PROMISED to give her a real fantastic princess party and have yet to plan it or give out invitations...it all goes back to that lack of sleep thing, I can't focus! I try, but no thoughty's coming outty. Alright, well complaining over. Until I feel the need to complain again. Who know's when that will be, but it WILL happen again I'm sure...
p.s. Sorry about the lack of funny, its just one of those days. Had to get it off my chest. Thanks for that!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Okay, let the fun begin!!!
1. I'm little. Like 5'2", scrawny, weak, somewhat pathetic, kind of LITTLE. When I was a baby I would projectile vomit all over EVERYTHING! My mom would take like two changes of outfits just to get through church. My parents had crappy insurance at the time and the doctor was like, "She's gooood." (said in the voice of Nacho Libre, if you don't mind.) But I firmly believe that I'm such a runt because I had a stomach problem or something! No one else in my family is this measly.
2. When I was six I took gymnastics. (Oh this one gets WAY better than THAT!) One night on the way to gymnastics right after my younger sister was born, I was in my cute little leotard and we turned a really sharp corner and I hit the door, and the door popped open and I fell out of our moving car. Right on my head. This could go on and on with all the details, but more importantly and to tie in with the one above, I once had a friend's mom ask me if that was why I was so short--BECAUSE I FELL ON MY HEAD. I don't like that lady very much...
3. I'm girly, in the sense that I love clothes and shoes and hair and jewelry. But I'm NOT girly, in the sense that I HATE stupid girly stuff, like gossip and hating girls over guys, back stabbing and just generally being prissy. Don't like that. Plus, I love outdoor things like camping and playing sports and I don't wear make-up usually except to church. Get it? Girly/NOT girly.
4. I've lived in Washington, Utah, California and then back up to Washington. So I say I'm a Washingtonian because I was born there and lived most of my life there, but it would be a lot cooler if I could say I was from Long Beach--woot woot! (Unless you've actually been to Long Beach and then you're thinking, "Honey, thats the ghetto. Compton is a scary scary place!")
5. I think people take themselves too seriously. (Me being one of those "people" sometimes too...) But if you can't have fun and be happy then why do it?! And if you don't know how to take a joke, we most likely won't get along very well. Not that you would know, because I'm super passive aggressive. As in, I would NEVER confront someone willingly or want to get in a fight, but I totally have little man syndrome where I think I'm tough but we all know about the little thing, refer back to #1.
6. I got married when I was 18. And yes, it was for LOVE. I just happened to meet my husband when I was still in high school and engaged the night before I graduated. CRAZY, I KNOW! It didn't seem so crazy when I was a stupid teenager. (Not saying I regret it at ALL) But I do look back and think how immature and naive I was, and people should have given me a little bit of a break! ;)
7. My daughter has one eye thats blue and one eye thats mostly brown/little blue. What? Thats not about me?! Oh, but my eyes are only hazel, thats not interesting! Okay then....the first time I got stitches I was like two. I'm super accident prone, but knock on wood, its been awhile since I've been seriously hurt. (I've had probably 30+ stitches altogether, and dislocated my knee around 8 times) BUT I've never broken a bone! Yay for me!
Okay, thats it! Hopefully you've learned something and you'll still be my friends, or whatever, I guess. Don't start that catty stuff, you know how I hate it! ;)
Friday, January 23, 2009
If you want to get rid of those pesky teeth (who obviously want to be rid of your pesky children), just feed them lots of CHOCOLATE and CANDY! Don't worry, I will compensate you with measly change and laundered money.
When I first met Miss Fairy, and she explained to me what she was doing, I was a little weary but remembered hearing something somewhere of what she was speaking of. So I left her to her work and went back to more important business, but then a little bit later I stumbled upon this gruesome scene: (which looks oddly like poop pellets now?)
It seems as though the Tooth Fairy has a sweet tooth herself!! Wait, no let me explain! I was getting this candy for YOUR kids, you know to help with the losing of the teeth... OH really?! Well then how do you explain THIS:
Not quite so innocent NOW are you FairyPLUMPkins!? I don't know who that is I've never seen her before...
Oh whatever Fairy Poppins, get out of my sight--you disgust me!! And take your little mermaid friend too! You better find a better scam to steal my chocolate than a stupid teeth pulling scheme! Can't get things past ME--not when it comes to treatsies!
And that was the day I came face to face with--not one, but two--criminals... AND I WON!
(Well, I guess I should clarify so new people coming around here won't think I'm a total nut job--not that they'd be totally wrong...
So my grandma sent these dolls to my girls and they were SO EXCITED to get them out of the box!!! They tore those boxes up until they needed my help with all the twist ties and crap. When I got them out I noticed they had hairnets on. It totally hit my funny bone, just cracked me up! I kept imagining reasons a doll would need a hairnet, so I took some pictures. And so this is what you get out of it! I'm not totally crazy, I just have a wild imagination, and too much time on my hands...) :)
Submitted for "Very Funny Friday" at Navel Gazing at its Finest.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
And I'm still lost.
I was really hoping this season would start clearing things up a little bit. Um, a little bit more.
I mean, its actually is answering some questions, without causing seventeen more to be asked (hallelujah!). But it's still pretty unclear how things are ever going to be worked out and what the whole FREAKING POINT OF THE ISLAND really is. Inquiring minds would like to know. I mean ME, I would REALLY like to know!
I don't watch a lot of TV, so I want to make sure I'm not wasting my time watching this never ending, brain boggling, time warping continuum drama/love story/suspense thriller. (Is that enough adjectives for ya?)
So we've come up with a plan! Every Wednesday we're heading over to my cousin's to watch Lost on their humongo screen TV, and discuss whats going on! I'm super excited about it too!
And I suppose if it gets too confusing, we'll just play Rock Band.
And thats what we call a win/win situation people.
(okay technically the show isn't even over yet, but I like to multi-task. Is that so wrong?!)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I can't stop giggling!
It's because Shelle over at Blok Thoughts mentioned me in her post today!
(I obviously love attention, but thought I'd point it out for you in case you didn't realize it.)
So, tonight is our Young Women's activity and for some reason my girls (who are in "charge" tonight--charge is in quotations, because we all know I'm in charge. I have to do all the work, they just pick the idea. Moving on.) decided they wanted to play in the snow. And for an even odder reason I said YES. (odder, heh. Thats funny.) WHAT WAS I THINKING?! Its freakin' cold outside, like 10 degrees, dude! I don't know if we can even do anything in the "snow" because its all frozen solid! Dang the cold. Dang my push-overness. Dang. Dang. Dang.
I think I have a plan though. They wanted to do a "Winter Olympics" type of activity. So what we'll do is: take some cardboard, see, and build a snow fort with it, then cover it with snow, are you seeing it, sit inside it, build a fire, and keep warm! I suppose we could just stay inside though...
Now for those of you who are wondering things like:
What does that have to do with Personal Progress?
Isn't there some sort of theme or something they're supposed to go by?
What is the point of that activity?
Do YOU want to be in my calling?! Work out the details on your own time! Judging is bad! Stop that! We have callings to GROW, if I were already perfect I'd be translated!!
Hey, just kidding guys. Just kidding! I actually have a fantastic activity worked out, I just wouldn't want to spill it on here for people to STEAL. Because I know for a FACT that there are people out there just waiting to snatch up my fabulous ideas...
So anyway, wish me luck that I don't lose a toe or something huh?
Monday, January 19, 2009
Which doesn't really bother me, but I suppose it should? See here.
So, I am SO bored...
After I finish this post, I've vowed not to get on the computer again today. Unless I REALLY need to. Like to order a new bra or something. But NOT to blog, or read blogs, or anything blog related! I VOW!
I'll try, but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough...
So guess what?! I finally got Mario Kart for the Wii! Wheeee! (Get it? Wii, Whee!) The only problem with it though, is my six year old wants to play too, but watching her makes me car sick! She's so back and forth and crazy I have to look away. (Plus she totally sucks at it, its very sad...I beat her EVERY time!) (That was a joke people, I would never be that cruel to my own daughter, of course she sucks, she's only six! Hello!)
I'm trying to think of something--ANYTHING--to write about so I don't have to get off here, but alas I'm drawing a blank. I never could do anything on command, dang it!
Alright....I'll go........but I'll miss you!
Oh, if you haven't seen yet, go check out the give-away at Mormon Mommy Blogs. Awesome, awesome stuff over there!
AND, I really got nothin so see ya later!
I think I need a nap. I'm getting a little loopy from the lack of sleep.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Secrets like.....sometimes after I finish nursing I forget to snap my bra back in place and walk around with it unhooked for hours. Although I don't have big enough bosoms for it to matter, plus my shirts are tight enough to hold things in place...
Anyway, some of the secrets over there seriously scare me! I'm not meaning that in a judgemental way at all! Just the pure ballsy-ness of it all (even though its anonymous), to admit some of that! Whew! I could get stuck over there for hours reading everyone's secrets, I can't even add my own by the time I'm done because I'm so exhausted from reading everyone's problems! And yet, its addicting.... do you think thats because I'm naturally a nosey person?
So I went shopping earlier and totally made out in the discount department! I got two pairs of shoes for $30! I know their going to be horribly painful and when I'm a little old lady my feet will look like this:
But I'm willing to suffer now so I look HOT!!
I also got some stuff for half off the sale price at DownEast! I LOVE that store! When you click on the link, that green shirt she's wearing, I almost got it, but they only had XXL. Dang them. But I did get a couple cute shirts and a dress too! Yay! There's not too many things that can make me happier than good deals on clothes! mmmmmmm.
Except Smart Cookies!
See those flowers in the corner up there? BEST SUGAR COOKIE ON THE PLANET!! Oh my, they are heavenly.... LOVE them!
My son's been really sick the last couple days, he has a fever and goopy eyes and has been sleeping a ton. He's only 8 months and its his first bad cold, I feel so bad for him! I also feel really bad for me because I've gotten .3 hours of sleep the last two nights. I wake up looking like a beast, its pretty scary. But tonight will be different, well probably not, it may just be worse.
Can you tell I'm lonely? My husband works on Saturdays, it makes for a long day. I don't know why. But now I need to go switch the laundry over and do the dishes before he gets home and thinks I've done nothing but sit in front of the computer all day!! Eek! Move it, move it, move it!!
Friday, January 16, 2009
So my very second post on here I talked about MySpace and a friend deleting me--see here if you need updating--it really wasn't that long ago guys, sheesh. :)
So anyway, I was on my Facebook account and THAT VERY SAME FRIEND added me to her friend list!!! WHOA!
Now, before you start calling me a hypocrite about saying MySpace is bad and then I go and reveal I'm on Facebook, let me clarify. Hmmmm, how to put this simply.... MYSPACE BAD. FACEBOOK GOOD.
No really. MySpace IS bad, there's raunchy sayings everywhere you go and the f-word is like every other thing you see. Plus its just a place for people to shamelessly whore themselves. Maybe that seems a little harsh, but it's true. Facebook, well Facebook is the mature version of MySpace. I mean, my DAD has a Facebook account, and he's a Bishop. So it can't be that bad, right?! Besides, on Facebook you get to poke people! WHeeeeee!
So anyway, I was shocked because it was just a couple days after I posted that, that my friend requested me. I could've fell over, the karma of it all. And you know what I did?! I DENIED HER! MWAAaa HAaaa HAHAHAHahaha!
NO I didn't. Of course I accepted her friendship. I don't hold grudges. I let things go and don't hold on to them for years. I don't know what kind of people do that....certainly not ME......
But...but....I really DID move on from that. I just thought it would be funny to post about. Do you think she reads this?! The timing of it all is just so weird. I'm so confused and ...... yeah. Has anything like that ever happened to you? Tell me about it so I don't feel so weirded out.
It's been a long running problem. Since I was a little kid. And I just can't get past it. There are three things I absolutely hate that I have no control over.
1. Sleeping: I HATE sleeping! Think of all those hours wasted! All the time I could've gotten things done (i.e. reading blogs), cleaned my house, read books--WASTED! Just laying there, not even feeling rested when I get up. I hate it.
2. Eating: it's not that I don't enjoy food, because heaven knows I likey the foody. But I don't like HAVING to eat when I don't want to. I'm busy doing other things (i.e reading blogs), and I don't want to have to take time out because my stomach is screaming at me to EAT ALREADY!
3. Bathrooming: it never seems to fail when I'm right in the middle of doing something important (i.e. READING BLOGS) that I have to go to the bathroom. The baby's crying, my toddler's spilt milk all over and I'm trying to fix the CHAOS, but no--let's put that all on hold to pee. It always comes up at the worst times.
When I was in elementary school (and middle school and high school...) I would wake up in the morning, relieve my bladder, go to school, HOLD IT ALL DAY, take the bus home, RUN down our dead end road (to our second to the last house) in a dead sprint before I peed all over myself. Ask my sister. After awhile I would just start skipping and sing "Skip, skip, SKip to my Lou" all the way home trying not to pee my pants. It was my pee pee song. ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. When I was like ten or maybe even eleven, I had an accident. I walked home with our neighbor boy, and when we got to his house I knew I could not hold it in one more second. I couldn't. He started walking through his yard to his house. I stood there and stared after him. Legs tight together like a tin soldier. He kept checking back to why I was just standing there, staring at him. The look on my face must have shown that something was not right, because he never said anything, he never came back toward me, he just looked at me eyes wide. And I just let it go. It was too painful to hold anymore. I turned a couple inches at a time, following his movement toward his house, so he couldn't see the evidence. After he went inside (he probably had nightmares about me that night "Was she possessed?! Was she frozen in place?! What was she DOING?!"), I turned and ran the rest of the way home. (Did you know that pee on your legs is kind of stingy/itchy? Too much information? Oh, sorry.) Don't worry I got everything changed and in the laundry before anyone knew. Although I'm sure my mom isn't that stupid, I bet she figured out what was going on.
So you see, its a problem I've struggled with for years. I just hate peeing. I hate the monotony of it. I hate the time it takes away from me (i.e. okay, you get it! By the by, I do do other things occasionally...hehe I said do do!).
If you have a secret you want to share, you can head over here. And even better, its ANONYMOUS, so you don't have to disgust people like I just did. Yay!
UPDATE: Maybe someday they'll make one of these for women and all my problems would be solved. Atleast my bathroom problems.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
What do I give, you ask?!
Well, if you must know, I have THREE blogs--THREE! How many blogs do YOU have?! That takes a lot of time people! (Even though the craft blog I have hasn't been updated in weeks, and is still sporting a "fall" colored theme...) And I go to other people's blogs and read them, and laugh with them, and get uplifted by them--its exhausting! I gotta tell you, its a lot of effort I go through for perfect strangers.
Plus, I work! (part-time) And thats rough! I give a little piece of my sanity every day I go into work. Because those children are stealer's, they take all the patience I have AND drain me of energy! Every day I work, I give up being normal. (Atleast every once in awhile I get some sanity/love/patience back when they do something great! Phew for that.)
Every Frimaturday, I donate money to overgrown house plants. They're too big to stay inside, yet not outside material. Its a very sad case, and like I said, I'm a giver, so I donate. Good thing Frimaturday's don't come around very often though, because those plants demand a lot of money and I'm poor!
Probably the most awesome thing I give is to my kids. Whenever my kids' have poopy diapers, I change them! I do! It may not happen right away, but eventually that poop will be removed. Without sounding too conceited, I think thats pretty spectacular! As far as the giving department goes, I don't know if you can get much better than that.
I just wanted you to know what kind of person I am. A giver. Thats all you need to know, I give.
Now give me some freakin' comments people! For the love... :)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
So I get to my crazy job today, already not feeling so hot because I was crazy yesterday and stayed up way too late reading...ummm the scriptures (not at all crazy people's blogs!). Plus all of a sudden I have a crazy cough and sore throat, so I didn't sleep very well at all. But anyway, I get to work today and the carbon monoxide alarm is going off. And HAS been going off since 6:30 this morning. Of course no one knows what to do, because that would require intelligent thinking I suppose. My boss was called and she just told us to open all the doors and windows. Okay, but its 30 degrees outside!! The part she didn't realize was that even after we turned the alarm off, it still would beep--loudly--EVERY THREE MINUTES!! Oh how annoying that stinkin' alarm was! So my boss went shopping and picked some stuff up and finally made it in to see if we were all dead or not, and then called the fire department. The fire department comes to test the daycare and see if there is actually a problem or the alarm is just malfunctioning. Of course it was just malfunctioning, BUT we still had to take ALL THE KIDS IN THE WHOLE FREAKING DAYCARE out into the freezing, ice ridden playground. Somehow as I was going in to get my gloves I was commandeered to take a baby because one of the other employees "Had to do something." So I was outside with five babies and one other employee. The kids were freezing, they were crying, they're little pudgy fingers were bright pink. It was sad. And, oh yeah, crazy! The girl that "had to do something", decided that in all this panic she felt pretty sick and needed to be tested by the really hott looking fireman. (I don't know if he was really hott, but that made a lot more sense to me to be tested than feeling sick.) And she "says" her levels were really high, and then proceeded to go in the bathroom and "throw up." I'm not saying for sure that I don't believe her. But I think it was all in her head. Anyway, the more important thing is that I COULD HAVE DIED! TODAY!
Faced with my mortality, I'm hyper aware of everything in my life I have not accomplished as of yet.
*My wardrobe is NOWHERE near complete.
*I can't play Expert on Guitar Hero yet.
*I haven't purchased Mario Kart for the Wii.
*I need to invent that Automatic Poop Changer.
*I haven't said "sassafrass" nearly enough.
*My blog has not become famous or made me a millionaire.
*I've never had a hott fireman examine me.
*I haven't had "the noodle dream." (We've watched Kung Fu Panda a little too much...)
*I still have .2 KB on my i-pod left to fill!
*I haven't found my one true bosom buddy.
*I KNOW I'm supposed to win that dream home from HGTV, I KNOW IT!
I'm sure there's some things missing from my list....IMPORTANT things....but I just can't think of anything else and my head's starting to hurt. Maybe its the monoxide!?! Uh oh, where's the hott fireman now?! I guess I'd better go find him.
Monday, January 12, 2009
It is SO COLD out right now! I mean DUH, its winter--but I'm so cold!! My feet just can't warm up and I'm about to just start walking around in full on long johns people (yes, only long johns, because that is dang sexy!). For the most part I don't mind change in weather, there's usually something pretty awesome about every season. I like the winter just fine, I just don't like being cold! I like playing in the snow, but I don't like being cold! I adore the way the snow sparkles, but I HATE getting stuck in our freakin' driveway! (Bet you thought I was going to say I don't like being cold! Neener neener HA ha! I'm so tricky...) So every night I crawl into bed in my footed pajamas, curled in a tight ball trying to keep as much warmth near me as possible. And I dream. I dream about summer and the heat and the beautiful sunshine (and how I won't appreciate it when its here, and I'll post about how freakin' hot it is...). And I started dreaming about summer's when I was a kid.
One wonderful summer, when I was in my pre-teen years, the neighbor's and I were really into building things. First off, I need to explain that my parents own just about three acres of property. We lived on a dead end street with a total of five neighbors (all old people except for two of them). The people right at the end of the street were rich and had a huge house, they didn't play with us. But the people right next to us had three kids, all around the same age as my older siblings and me. The neighbors we played with had like three or four huge chicken coops, huge, more like long barns. Long barns filled with CRAP! Old stuff and hay and farm stuff and just a bunch of junk--filled to the brim! So we would take stuff out of there and build other useless stuff with it.
We built this fort, that had TWO rooms, oh yeah we were awesome. We even put a lock on it and kept a key for it so no one would get in! We also had blackberry bushes EVERYWHERE. So we would crawl through the bushes, making tunnels until we would find a spot where the branches weren't so close and it would open up into a "room." It was magical! Like our own private world where no one bugged us and we could do whatever we wanted! We'd bring food and toys and whatnot and play out there in the bushes for hours.
One day I decided I REALLY needed a swing. My parents have a bunch of apple trees and some cherry trees, but on one of those trees not a swing to be found. So I went out to one of the crap holders--I mean chicken coops, and found some old rope and a piece of wood. I threw that rope up over a high branch and tied it in a knot. Then threw another piece over and tied another knot. Then I stuck the board into the loops and sat down.
I fell right on my tookus! The rope had come untied and dropped me like Oprah on a diet! I would *like* to say I gave up my endeavors, I would like to, but I can't. I tried over and over and over to build a stinkin swing! Falling on my butt so hard I swear I broke my coccyx, but I WOULD NOT give up!!
Okay after awhile I gave up.
I could never get that stupid swing to work for me (and now you know I'm sort of like a fly trying to go out a shut window--over and over and over again...)! So NEXT time I EVER make a swing again, it will look something like this:
Also something I'll be dreaming about...
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Wal-Mart.....its funny how low my standards have dropped since moving to Utah (that sounds so wrong doesn't it? Oh well). I didn't grow up here, I grew up in the evergreen state (Washington to you non-evergreeners). After we'd been married for a few years we moved here to Utah. I had some preconceived notions about what it would be like here. Like: it would be lovely and happy and we'd all hold hands and skip around singing hymns and giving service. Not that its not lovely and happy, but people aren't as friendly as I had thought they would be. The first time I went to Wal-Mart I grinned stupidly at every person I passed, because 'Hey, I'm Mormon. We're in Utah, you MUST be Mormon too! YAaaaaaAAY!' I was dumb that way. After a couple people giving me very confused looks I stopped grinning at everyone, and realized 'Hey, this is a grocery store, they just want to get their food and leave. And so do I.' So I got over it.
Other things about Utah are fantastic though! Like the billboards! Oh yes, the billboards. They're all about "Temple Square" or "Missionary Mall" or "Knee Shorts: Modesty!", its great! I really didn't notice it until we visited my sister in Vegas, where all the billboards are ">< >< ><" (did you get that? It's code...) or "Thunder from Down Under" or "$2.99 Buffet at Caesar's Palace!" And I was like 'Oh dear, we ain't in Kansas (I mean Utah) anymore!!'
There are downsides to Utah though too. Like the lack of....ummm.....different cultures? Let me explain. About six months after we first moved here, we went back to Washington for Christmas. And the very first thing I noticed after we got off the plane was black people*! I'd grown up around lots of different races and never distinguished, but all of a sudden I realized that down in Utah I just hadn't seen very many other colors than white. :) (*I'm really not trying to be offensive, more funny than anything really, but it's what I noticed and I'm just being honest!)
Something else I hadn't anticipated about Utah (not that it isn't obvious, I just never thought of it), they have to make up callings because they have so many active members! In Washington, we struggled to fill callings; here, they have a calling for handing out the hymn books in Relief Society! Its AWESOME!
So, back to Wal-Mart. In Washington, you did NOT shop at Wally World unless you looked like this:
But here in Utah, Wal-Mart is the shiz! So I've conformed to the trend because....well, because its cheap and I'd rather spend money on clothes and Arby's.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
I have some bad habits. Not REALLY bad habits like smoking pot (oh yeah, I did just say that!), but bad habits nonetheless. I feel like I should share so if you too do these things, that are slightly wrong but not bad enough to change, we can know right away if we're compatible as friends. :)
~I chew ice really loud. I love eating ice, it makes me happy, and I love the crunch, crunch it makes. If you hate ice chewers, I'm sorry but I'm really bad that way.
~When I walk down a sidewalk, I CANNOT step on a crack, I just CAN'T! I also may count my steps in between each crack, but I try to do that silently, in my head.
~If my husband and I are in the bathroom talking (its quiet in there!), I can't help but stare at myself when I talk. Not because I'm vain, but because I'm freakishly scared thats what I LOOK LIKE WHEN I TALK!?!?! How scary...
~I make up my own words, and I don't care that "funner" is improper, you ALL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS! So just get over it already and use it too! :)
~I say fart, against everything my mother raised me to be I say it, because I'm sorry "toot" just doesn't do it for me. Oh and I still think farts are pretty dang funny.
~I sometimes pick my nose...WHAT?! You know you do it too!
~Sometimes I squeeze my kids so hard they cry. Not because I want to hurt them or be mean, they're just SO CUTE!! (I want to pet them and squeeze them and love them and call them George!)
~When I see those empty wrapped presents on display at stores or out and about, I secretly have to go shake them, JUST to make SURE they're really empty. I don't know why.
~I love to dance around really stupidly, I mean REALLY stupidly! It makes me feel like a kid and silly and just helps me lighten up from all the stress of life. I mean it, REALLY STUPIDLY, like jumping all around, doing the running man, and Ice Ice Baby--its wrong.
~I punch people a lot. No, I don't get in fist fights (only in my dreams). They're really love taps, because if you say something funny I just have to hit you. Especially guys, its a very bad habit! So when my husband is being annoying or says something dumb, I have to just punch his arm. AND I CAN'T STOP MYSELF. I've actually been working on this for years, but if I REALLY like you, you might just get a "love tap."
~"Brat" and "Monster" are terms of endearment for my kids. Try saying them in a loving way, "You cute little brat..." or "Hey Monster, come give me a love." I just don't care for honey and sweety in the same way. :)
Thats it for now, I'm sure I'll think of TONS more when I can't sleep tonight. :)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Please don't ever do that to me.
p.s. Myspace is the devil. Its BAD! Never, EVER, join myspace! I'm just looking out for YOU! Okay, that's it for now.
I LOVE blogs, I love reading them, I love laughing at the clever bloggy things they say, I love tearing up over a good blog lesson shared. After awhile it hit me! I've found my crowd! The blogosphere is my ideal social situation; I can visit with my "friends" whenever it works for me. I don't have to talk on the phone to see how you're doing because YOU come to ME! Its personal enough to feel like I know you, but not personal enough to feel awkward and self-conscious. I love it!
So here's my contribution to the blogging world, hopefully I can make you smile and share a little of my own blather and we can all be happy in our own little world! Plus my in-law's read my other blog and maybe I don't want them to see every side of me! haha This is strangely freeing....