Why Buses Aren't in My Economic Plan

I think the best (HA!) "embarrassing moment" story I have (I have lots, this is just THE BEST), is about riding the school bus.

Did you ever have to ride the school bus? That in itself should be embarrassing enough, but NO, it gets way better from here!

How about having to ride the bus in HIGH SCHOOL?! How about that? Do you think THAT is embarrassing enough?

HECK NO!

How about when you're in high school, you have a swimming class (which I will have to talk about more another time...), which is your last period of the day, so you have to shower and change and all that and RUN for the bus so it doesn't leave you behind? With your hair dripping wet and smelling like chlorine?

STILL not enough?

Okay, how about one day, you're rushing for the bus after said swimming class, its about to leave! Oh no! Start bookin it--as in sprinting with your wet hair streaming behind you, backpack bouncing on your back--toward the bus. You see it. You're running.

Can't. Miss. That. Bus!

You get there just before it pulls away, oh sweet relief!

Simultaneously as your foot touches the bottom step, the bus door starts to close...

You are stuck in the bus door. Half of your body is outside the bus, still stranded out there in purgatory. The other half, including your head, is INSIDE the bus. Not a pretty sight really.

The bus driver is shocked and inhales sharply, "OH!" and finally opens the door back up to let you inside the hell hole. You take the three steps up into the main frame of the bus and see Super Hott Guy sitting right in the front seat laughing hysterically at you.

Take the walk of shame to the back of the bus, hanging head.

Insist to your parents, you WILL be starting driver's ed. right away!


So whats your most embarrassing story?

I'm on One Today, but Not in a Funny Way

Its been one of those days where my patience is running thin. I'm trying not to let loose and scream at people, but those people aren't making it easy on me, yaknowwhattamean?! Most of the people who are giving me a hard time don't exceed 44 inches high and only have a few years of life to their names. But does that really change the fact that I'm TIRED and stretched to my limit and really, really TIRED?! No, no it doesn't.

In other news, The Boy is starting to walk! At a week from turning 10 months he's taking steps all by himself! Very exciting! And I just love that unsteady, just learning how to, old man walk--so endearing!

Other good news? I ate a french dip sandwich for lunch and managed not to spill a single drop...uh, on my shirt. Other places were dripped on, but not my shirt! HA! You can't beat me au jus, no matter how good you taste!

It snowed here yesterday, or was it Monday? Ah yes, Monday. Just thought I'd share. (I am seriously tired of winter, please Spring won't you come and stay awhile?)

I have some sort of meeting or appointment or something for every single night this week. With my calling this happens sometimes, what can you do? I'll tell you what, NOTHING. You can't do anything! Unless you go on some sort of strike and picket outside the Bishop's house, I suppose you could do that, but seriously it snowed the other day! Brrrrrr!

Alright, randomness out. Peace. Word to your mother and some such nonsense.

SAHOWMA's UNITE!

Okay I might really be screwing myself over here but I just can't stop myself. Something has been on my mind lately (and by "on my mind" I mean, REALLY BOTHERING ME). I'm going to try really hard to not be offensive, so will you please also try really hard not to be offended?

Yes?!

Really, you will try? Good. I feel so much better!

What I want to talk about is Stay At Home Moms. Touchy, I know. I really do know because for five years I was a stay at home mom. Up until last year I was at home with my kids, and so no one can tell me I don't know what its like to be at home raising my kids. Even now, I don't think my job makes things much different, I work part time teaching preschool at a daycare. I'm home by noon most days, my kids are at the daycare with me so if there's any sort of problems I can take care of it myself--no one else.

But last year before my son was born, I worked full time at the daycare for quite a few months and honestly it was really hard work! So you can see, I've been on both sides of my topic. I've been a working mom and a stay at home mom, so obviously my opinion is logical and informed and I know everything. Na Na nana NA!

When I've observed ladies talking and attitudes exhibited on this subject (of being a SAHM or a WM--that's working mom, yo.) I've noticed a little trend. There is a small group of moms who sort of make me a wee bit upset. These certain kind of SAHM's think that they are better than the WM's. They frown upon the woman who has to go out of her home to work. I ran across a blog awhile back that said she was crafting and her working friend called and asked her what she was doing, she was so put off by it and said something to the effect that her friend would NOT be able to understand because she works. WHAT?! So because I work, I don't remember how to craft anymore?! I'm shocked, I wish someone had let me know that before I started working! NOOOOoooooooooo!!

In my experience, when I was a SAHM I was seriously lazy--if I'm really being honest with myself. It was like the day was always there, I had any time of day to do what I needed to do, so I was disorganized and well, like I said, lazy. Maybe not everyone is like me, and really, good for you. But when I went back to work, all of a sudden I didn't have my whole day before me. A lot of my time was spent gone at my job. So then I came home and still had to get done all the things I did before, and still raise my kids and anything else I wanted to do. When I went back to work, I became MORE organized, I did MORE crafting, I got MORE done than before. I appreciated my time MORE.

What this post is really about though? We are ALL moms. We truly need each other's support. Instead of tearing one another down, we should be unified and help each other up. I hate the segregation of SAHM and WM, we should become SAHOWMA (that's Stay At Home OR Working Mom's Anonymous, fo shizzle)! A place where we can come together and work past the stereotypes! A place where we can share mom stories, and not care whether you work or not! A place where there is no one mom that's better than another! Doesn't that just sound so ideal? Or AWESOME?!

Well, it does to me.

And I'm the best mom ever, so you should listen to me.

(Oh, if you want to know the blog I was talking about, just ask, I'd be happy to throw her under the bus--Oooooh she burns me up! Just kidding guys, kidding!)

I've Got the No-Sleep-Kids-Keep-Barfing-and-Excreting-Fecal-Matter-All-Over-the-Place-I-Want-to-Die BLUES!

Longest post title ever, no? (I feel so French now, ooh la la!) (In French talk, they end sentences with "no?" quite often, I know because I took French for three years, or was it two? No?)

I gotta be honest with you guys. I sort of want to die right now. Okay not really, but COME ON!
Since last Thursday night Middle Child has had the sickness. The worst kind of sickness: the barfing and the diarrhea. OH FOR THE LOVE, I can't take much more. We've gone through every pair of underwear, I have so much laundry to still do, and the kid crapped on my foot. ON. MY. FOOT.

Sometime in the middle of the night, Husband finally got the great idea to put her in a diaper. Because get this people, she will "go" in her underwear and KEEP SLEEPING. Who does that?! How do you not wake up for that?!

And the barfing. OHHH the barfing!

Let me share my stance on barfing. When I was a kid, it was a rare exception that I would actually let myself hurl. I would do ANYTHING not to let it go, I didn't care how terrible I felt, barfing HURT and I did NOT want to do it. Even pregnant, with all four pregnancies (I had a miscarriage thank you for bringing that up. Sheesh.) I've only thrown up maybe four or five times--TOTAL. I HATE IT SO MUCH.

So heaven had to give me weak stomached children. Pay back. I don't know what for, but that's all I can think of right now going on no sleep whatsoever.

My oldest has a food allergy. Food allergies make for weak stomachs, because if that bad food gets in there its the stomach's job to stop it from getting in the body, so it pushes it back out. Yesterday after church, one of my sweet Young Women offered Oldest a candy. Which she greedily and speedily shoved in her mouth, except that it had peanuts in it. I made her spit it out and get a drink to rinse her mouth out. She never swallowed any of it, but I'm sure it truly did irritate. The thing about Oldest (and I have NO idea where she gets this from) is she's quite the dramatic. So she worked herself up and barfed right there in the Bishop's office. AWESOME. Well, she barfed into my hand, which was in the Bishop's office.

Middle Child I don't even know whats wrong with. We thought she must just have a 24 hour bug, because it went away after 24 hours. But now its back with a vengeance. All last night people, ALL NIGHT LONG. With the barfing and the pooping. Lovely no?

There I go with the French thing again.

And now because I'm so exhausted and tired, I've written this (horrible) great post for the point in spreading the joy. Rack it up ladies, share your most horrible kid's sickness day. Let's commiserate together. (Although you don't necessarily have a kid's sickness to commiserate, so share whatever you're feeling blue about, if you so please.) And if you're feeling chipper and happy and great? Well, you can just go to a fiery hot place I don't wish to mention. (I know, I'm awful when I'm cranky!)
We're spending the day in pajamas and watching movies. That's it. While I clean up the ick. Sounds so glorious no?

I won't do it!! NO NO NO!! WAAAAH!

Oldest is going to a birthday party in half an hour and I'm going to try REALLY hard to be good and get things done while she's there (now what do I do with the other two?). So before she goes I'm going to blog! Whooey!

When I was young and impressionable, I was a VERY picky eater. VERY. I didn't like a lot of food and I was super dramatic if my parents tried to force me to eat something. Or super stubborn, I'm not sure which. Well, how about both? Yes, that works.

I would sit at the table bawling. They would tell me I couldn't get up until I finished my plate. I would sit there for a veeeeerrrry long time. Maybe fall asleep. Cry some more. Would NOT finish my plate. And so it went for many a year.

One of my mom's favorite dinner's to make--that NO ONE in our family liked except my parents--was sweet 'n sour meatballs. *GAG* I still can't think about them without retching a little. They were so nasty. Eeew sicko! *whoo whoo...in....out....deep breaths*

It was meatballs (duh), on a bed of rice, with a big ol' slice of pineapple under them and some secret gonna-make-you-hurl sweet 'n sour sauce. Sounds delish huh? NOT AT ALL.

Anyway, one night my mom made the dreaded "food" and I wasn't having none of it. But she had places to go and things to do, things I ALSO wanted to do. She told me if I didn't finish eating I wasn't going to go with her to wherever it was we were supposed to go. Maybe I didn't think she would actually do it. Maybe that was the stubborn part of me. But when it came time for her to go, I still hadn't eaten anything. So she went out, got in the car and started driving away.

I shoved the stupid meatballs in my mouth and ran outside, gagging and crying and screaming and gagging...after her. Maybe that was the dramatic part of me. She stopped, rolled her eyes, and then let me get in.

Funny mom, don't you know when we get older our taste buds MUST change and then all of a sudden we will actually try to eat normally? Silly mom, don't you know that kids are NOT reasonable on any level? Silly kid, don't you know mom's will ALWAYS try to make you eat dinner? Dumb child, don't you know she was helping you grow?!

Things worked out in the end though, she can make sweet 'n sour meatballs any time she wants, and I now will in no way ever have to eat them again! Amen.

A B C as easy as 1 2 3!

Angela from Funky Bag Freak had a fun tag going on, so instead of actually using my brain to come up with something, I just did this. Phew, dodged that bullet....

A is for your age: 26 I think.....(I have a hard time remembering how old I am, because I care so little about it...)
B is for your burger of choice: cheeseburger, but I don't really care for burgers that much.
C is for the car that you drive: Chrysler Town & Country (mini van baby! LOVE IT! We have a DVD player, so no mocking the mini van.)
D is for dog's name: I don't have a dog, but the dog I grew up with's name was Belle--best dog EVER!
E is for an essential item you use each day: computer--DUH! ;)
F is for your favorite television show: The Office
G is for favorite game: Guitar Hero, oh and Heads Up Seven Up
H is for hometown: Tacoma, WA
I is for instruments played: Piano and French Horn
J is for favorite juice: mountain dew (I've been told its the nector of the Gods', hence its a juice)
K is for what you'd like to kick: as in a person? Or a habit? Well, neither really...
L is for last restaurant you dined at: Chili's
M is for your favorite Muppet: Animal, he's so crazy!
N is for number of piercings you have: one in each ear (I'm so innocent...)
O is for overnight hospital stays: 4 I think.
P is for people you were with today: My kids, the people at work.
Q is for what you do in quiet times: Read, blog, blog, BLOG! hehe
R is for regrets: I don't have regrets, not really. Except for not being rich. I regret that a lot.
S is for status: married. Oh, and rich, super rich. Upper class. Yeah...
T is for time you woke up today: 8:30 AM (I slept in. I wish I'd been in a coma though)
U is for what you consider unique: someone who can be themselves and not care what other people think--I REALLY like those kinds of people!
V is for favorite vegetable: carrots
W is for your worst habit: being lazy and that whole rich thing...
X is for x-rays you have had: just one (I've never broken anything) and then at the dentist?
Y is for yummy food you ate today: candy and mountain dew = YUMMY. :)
Z is for zodiac sign: Aries, when the sun and the stars align, I have super powers. Do YOU?

You can do this if you feel so inclined, but based on how you reacted to my last tag, I'm assuming thats a NO. :)

I Don't Need Anymore Iron-y

I was a really annoying teenager.

Truly, I was. I was really hyper and giggly and loud and dorky. Well, at least around my friends and their families. (There were times where in classes if I felt insecure or didn't have any friends, that I was very shy and quiet) But for the most part: a loud, obnoxious dork.

Some of the things I did as an annoying teenager?

Thinking how I was acting was REALLY SUPER COOL, when in fact it was REALLY SUPER ANNOYING!
For example, going to Target and running up and down the aisles laughing maniacally, playing with the toys and being generally obnoxious.
Going to the prom dress stores and trying on like twenty different dresses, wasn't ever going to buy one, but we felt pretty.
Toilet papering our friends' houses. This one time we went to a grocery store beforehand to buy toilet paper and whatnot, and talked in British accents the entire time (thinking we were AWESOME) and sat in the grocery carts and pushed each other around. *shudder*

I could go on, but I'm internally cringing over my naivety enough to make me sick. Besides the fact that I just drank 24 oz of Mountain Dew, that might be making me sick as well. And my son is sitting next to me with a poopy diaper, I think that's getting to me too.
(alright, I took a little break and changed the diaper, I know, I'm such a good mom...)

The thing I feel even worse about than how stupid I acted? I have no tolerance for stupid teenagers. Well, I have very little tolerance for stupid teenagers. I catch you walking around talking in a fake accent, you get the dirty look from me and an eye roll. Some guy was using his grocery cart like a scooter today--wheeeeeee!-- and just about ran over one of my kids, you should've seen how terrified he looked of me after he saw my face. And I'm not very intimidating normally.

Girls being really loud and laughing hysterically = my blood boiling.

What a hypocrite I am.

I can't help it though, they're so obnoxious! I didn't come to horrible Wal-Mart to have to deal with someone else's dumb teenagers, and where are their parents anyway?! The worst is at the dollar theater. Oh how I loathe the dollar theater. Teenage kids run rampant there and if I have to hear them laughing and clapping in the middle of my movie and they always say the stupidest stuff......alright, I'm working myself up now. I've got to stop.

Really, the irony in this? More than you know I'm going to have obnoxious teenagers myself? I work in Young Women's....and I LOVE IT! haha

Boys will be Boys

I want to talk about someone who is very dear to my heart today. First I'll give you a little background, this person is very special not only because he's my boy, but because he's a boy. What does that even mean, you ask? Well, in both Husband's and my family there is only one boy. Three girls in my family, four girls in Husband's. There just aren't a lot of boys around, even our nieces outweigh the nephews 2 to 1. So not to say that we don't love our girls, because we so do, but The Boy is special. And boy is he special!
After having two girls, I thought boys couldn't be all that different, but no; they ARE different. I noticed from the first day he was born, that boys are not like girls. By the way they smell, the way they eat, the way they look. Different.
I want to share with you some of the things about The Boy I love.

I LOVE when we're laying in bed and he's laughing and smiling and we're playing peek-a-boo or something that all of a sudden the smile will leave his face and its like his mouth is being forced toward my skin by some unseen lazerbeam, and he just HAS to suck on my arm or my cheek or whatever--like he has no control over it whatsoever.
I LOVE that he loves to eat, my girls are fairly petite but I adore chubby babies and my son has rolls like my girls never had! LOVE it!
I LOVE when I've rocked him to sleep and after awhile I adjust my arms and he momentarily wakes up, looks up to my face, smiles the most angelic smile, and then his eyes roll back in his head. It makes me all tingly inside.
I LOVE that he is such a rocker. He has always liked to bounce, move, rock back and forth, since the time he was born. We'd put him in his bouncy seat and it was automatic, his right leg would start to kick to make the seat move--so cute! And now that he can crawl and stand up, he's always shaking his groove thang, he's got such a cool personality!
I LOVE that he loves to feel skin. Every once in awhile if my shirt isn't all the way down after nursing, he'll find my belly button and just pick at it. While that may sound disgusting, his face is so full of curiosity and humor that it just cracks me up! And his new found interest? My cleavage. There's a true boy for ya right there. ;)
One of the things I love most about The Boy is his eyes. There is something in his eyes that makes me feel like he is an old soul. Like he understands far more than he should. Mischief in those eyes, and it just makes me love him all the more!
It was a long road to get this boy and we are absolutely enamored with him and so thankful he's ours.
And right now he's all curled up in my lap and I can't help but kiss his sweet little bald head as many times as possible because I just know, the time will be gone far too soon!

You know you Swallow your Spit too

I don't know what kind of parents you have, but I'm positive your parents are NOTHING like my parents.

My parents are awesome, maybe we have that in common. My parents were--I would say--fairly strict, maybe we don't have that in common, maybe so. My parents are dorks, who knows about yours?

One thing my parents maybe needed to work on though? Embarrassment.

What do you mean sweet Melinda? Well, if something was embarrassing we didn't talk about it. Peeing your pants? No talky. You deal with it, on your own. And I did. :)

Maybe that makes me a stronger person, maybe not? Maybe it taught me how to rely on my own strengths, maybe it made me scared to deal with things? I'm pretty normal (HA, ha ha ha! Shut up.) so I don't hold anything against my parents. I know they were doing the VERY best they could, so I can't be upset with them. But sometimes I wish I could have asked them SOME things. Or been able to talk to them about some concerns I had.

I tried to once you know, this is how it turned out.

"Mom, you know how you have spit in your mouth?"

"Yes?"

"Do you swallow your spit like I do?" (I was only around 10, and wondered if I was the only person in the world who swallowed their spit, I was quite worried over it actually.)

"Ummm....NO, no I don't." (She was probably preoccupied by something else, or wasn't paying attention to what I was really asking, because HELLO, everyone swallows their spit!)

"Okay........" (OH MY GOSH!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!)

So I learned to keep my concerns to myself. Which is quite sad because when I was 12 I was over at an elderly neighbor's house visiting with them and a show was playing in the background. After awhile I started paying attention to it. It was about breast cancer and how to detect if you have breast cancer. It told my young 12 year old mind that if you have any lumps in your breast, you have cancer. Well, I obviously didn't have ANY sort of breasts at the age of 12, but I did have a "lump". Which would have been my nipple. I was TERRIFIED. No joke guys, not even funny, I seriously thought I had breast cancer. And I didn't tell anyone for YEARS, because I was too scared to talk to my mom or my dad or anyone else. Because that was how I was raised, you just kept things to yourself. SO glad to find out I don't have breast cancer, what a relief!

So when the time came to get a bra or to have a visit from Aunt Flo, I don't know about how you guys dealt with it, but I dealt ALONE. When I finally wanted a bra, all my friends had bras, I still didn't have breasts but I wanted a bra...do you think I asked my mom for one? HECK NO! I snuck in my older sister's room and stole one of hers. And that is how you did things in my family.

I'm realizing that this is sounding quite pathetic and maybe making my parents look bad, which wasn't my intention. Look at it this way guys, if the worst thing my parents did was not talk to me about the birds and the bees* and didn't buy me a bra, I had it pretty good. Its funny to think about now, and every things turned out just fine. I'm just going to make sure my kids won't be afraid to ask me about their spit's habits!

I was going to share with you my first period story, but I think this is sad enough, so I'll spare you. But please feel free to share the weird quirks of your parents, so I feel a tad bit better! :)


*No, we didn't have a sit down, this is what its about talk. We of course had talks about being chaste, how they expected us to act with the boys we dated, etc. But no talk specifically about you know what. In fact, on my wedding night before we went to our hotel, my mom told me: AND I QUOTE, "Don't worry honey, you don't have to do anything." Um thanks mom, but YES I DO and that doesn't help.

Tag! You're IT!

Alrighty guys, I got tagged by Rachel at Trapped Between a Scream and a Hug. Go over there and check her out, she's great!
So here goes:

STEP 1: Respond and rework. Answer the following questions on my blog, replacing one question that I dislike with a question of my own invention.

STEP 2: Add one more question of my own.

STEP 3: Tag eight other bloggers.

1) What is your favorite day of the week? Frimaturday.
2) What is your biggest fear? funerals or going pee.
3) What was your worst subject in school? Math definitely.
4) Who did you hug last? Husband's family goodbye.
5) What websites do you visit when you go online? Facebook--but never myspace--and my blog list mostly.
6) What was the last item that you bought? Chick-Fil-A, we ate fast food ALL week.
7) If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? I would go to Italy, Greece, Mexico, Hawaii, New York, even Vegas again, SO MANY PLACES!
8) What is your favorite book? My all-time favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird. I also ADORE the Twilight books, and Anne of Green Gables and I love the Little House on the Prairie books, I really enjoy reading, anything from blogs down to conversation hearts! ;)
9) What was the longest car ride you ever took? From Washington down to Reno, down to San Diego, back up to Washington. It was a long drive! :)
10) What was the last movie you watched? P.S. I Love You--so cute and so sad!
11) If you had a whole day to yourself with no work, commitments, or interruptions, what would you do? Since this is a magical day indeed, I'm adding no money constraints either; so I would get a big group of girlfriends together and go to a spa, get our nails done, our eyebrows waxed, and pick out hot outfits and go do karaoke or dancing or something totally fun! So awesome!
12) If you were to win the Powerball, what would you do with the money (besides invest it)? Invest it?! HA I wouldn't do that anyway....I would rid the world of man leggings.
13) In your opinion, who is the most significant person in history and why? Jesus Christ. (How could I change that Rachel?!) :)
14) If you had a choice of places to live, where would it be? Washington, or paradise! :)
15)What's an item on your property you can't live without? Well, I don't own property, but I couldn't live without my family, everything else is all replaceable. Even though I would be REALLY sad without my clothes and shoes and jewelry. :( And I'd be really sad without our urinal/humidifier.
16) What are your hopes and dreams? To just always continue to improve, always work on being better, and that my kids will be happy and live good lives. :) Oh, and to be blog famous.

So now I'm tagging:
Anyone who wants to do it! :)
and
my sister. Kristie, do it or you're dead to me.

(Oh Rachel, sorry I didn't follow the rules very well, I didn't delete a question--I liked them all just fine--and I didn't tag eight other bloggers. I'm a rebel like that. Oooh, living on the edge! But of course apologetic about it. Thats why I'm passive aggressive <-----see #5)