Monday, March 9, 2009

I've Got the No-Sleep-Kids-Keep-Barfing-and-Excreting-Fecal-Matter-All-Over-the-Place-I-Want-to-Die BLUES!

Longest post title ever, no? (I feel so French now, ooh la la!) (In French talk, they end sentences with "no?" quite often, I know because I took French for three years, or was it two? No?)

I gotta be honest with you guys. I sort of want to die right now. Okay not really, but COME ON!
Since last Thursday night Middle Child has had the sickness. The worst kind of sickness: the barfing and the diarrhea. OH FOR THE LOVE, I can't take much more. We've gone through every pair of underwear, I have so much laundry to still do, and the kid crapped on my foot. ON. MY. FOOT.

Sometime in the middle of the night, Husband finally got the great idea to put her in a diaper. Because get this people, she will "go" in her underwear and KEEP SLEEPING. Who does that?! How do you not wake up for that?!

And the barfing. OHHH the barfing!

Let me share my stance on barfing. When I was a kid, it was a rare exception that I would actually let myself hurl. I would do ANYTHING not to let it go, I didn't care how terrible I felt, barfing HURT and I did NOT want to do it. Even pregnant, with all four pregnancies (I had a miscarriage thank you for bringing that up. Sheesh.) I've only thrown up maybe four or five times--TOTAL. I HATE IT SO MUCH.

So heaven had to give me weak stomached children. Pay back. I don't know what for, but that's all I can think of right now going on no sleep whatsoever.

My oldest has a food allergy. Food allergies make for weak stomachs, because if that bad food gets in there its the stomach's job to stop it from getting in the body, so it pushes it back out. Yesterday after church, one of my sweet Young Women offered Oldest a candy. Which she greedily and speedily shoved in her mouth, except that it had peanuts in it. I made her spit it out and get a drink to rinse her mouth out. She never swallowed any of it, but I'm sure it truly did irritate. The thing about Oldest (and I have NO idea where she gets this from) is she's quite the dramatic. So she worked herself up and barfed right there in the Bishop's office. AWESOME. Well, she barfed into my hand, which was in the Bishop's office.

Middle Child I don't even know whats wrong with. We thought she must just have a 24 hour bug, because it went away after 24 hours. But now its back with a vengeance. All last night people, ALL NIGHT LONG. With the barfing and the pooping. Lovely no?

There I go with the French thing again.

And now because I'm so exhausted and tired, I've written this (horrible) great post for the point in spreading the joy. Rack it up ladies, share your most horrible kid's sickness day. Let's commiserate together. (Although you don't necessarily have a kid's sickness to commiserate, so share whatever you're feeling blue about, if you so please.) And if you're feeling chipper and happy and great? Well, you can just go to a fiery hot place I don't wish to mention. (I know, I'm awful when I'm cranky!)
We're spending the day in pajamas and watching movies. That's it. While I clean up the ick. Sounds so glorious no?


  1. The last times I've been sick, I've had nausea, without the throwing up, which I often think is worse. I just wanted to throw up and be better!

    I hope you house is barf free soon.

  2. Wow. I'm SO sorry.

    I jumped over here from Annie's blog because I insanely loved your strip club comment and had no choice but to check your blog out after that. I hope you get some poo & puke free time to catch some zzz's.

  3. It sounds like MC is suffering from dehydration. I never had this happen except with my youngest. I had to take him to the emergency room twice when he was a toddler. Anyway, the original bout of flu can dehydrate them and the body's way of dealing with that is flowing effluvia from just about every body orifice. Weird, huh? If the skin around her eyes or nose looks a bit brown and if her skin stays indented when you push on it, call the doctor right away! In fact, I think I would anyway, just to be sure. I hope she feels better soon and that you don't get it! (still, it was a funny post!)

  4. Oh Sweet Cheeks, I'm laughing but I feel so bad for you. Want me to come help? It's been a long time since I've done the whole poop and puke thing, but I think I remember? No?

    My husband was holding my son so they were eye to eye. The boy wasn't quite a year, and the boy puked all over my husbands face. Let me just tell you this. My husband has a BEARD! LOL

    I made him hold the boy until I could take a picture. He didn't think it was all that funny. But I almost pee'd my pants, I was rolling on the floor laughing. No?

  5. Tag you're it. Come over and see your assignment

  6. Thanks for coming by and upping the number of comments on my blog! ;-) You're from Washington too? We're in Elma (about 30 minutes from Olympia going towards Aberdeen.)

  7. That TITLE sounds like either an Elvis blues tune --or a bad country music song. Oh, you poor thing. I can't stand cleaning up that kind of stuff --I start heaving just at the smell and sight. I could never have been a nurse I'm afraid. Hand them a rag and tell them to clean it up themselves (j/k)

  8. I am so, so, so, so, so sorry. I hate throuw up just about more than anything. Really. really. Really. I hope they get better soon. I hope you make it through the clean up. Good luck!

  9. lol she crapped on your foot!!! oh Mel I'm so sorry!!!


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