Monday, March 2, 2009

You know you Swallow your Spit too

I don't know what kind of parents you have, but I'm positive your parents are NOTHING like my parents.

My parents are awesome, maybe we have that in common. My parents were--I would say--fairly strict, maybe we don't have that in common, maybe so. My parents are dorks, who knows about yours?

One thing my parents maybe needed to work on though? Embarrassment.

What do you mean sweet Melinda? Well, if something was embarrassing we didn't talk about it. Peeing your pants? No talky. You deal with it, on your own. And I did. :)

Maybe that makes me a stronger person, maybe not? Maybe it taught me how to rely on my own strengths, maybe it made me scared to deal with things? I'm pretty normal (HA, ha ha ha! Shut up.) so I don't hold anything against my parents. I know they were doing the VERY best they could, so I can't be upset with them. But sometimes I wish I could have asked them SOME things. Or been able to talk to them about some concerns I had.

I tried to once you know, this is how it turned out.

"Mom, you know how you have spit in your mouth?"


"Do you swallow your spit like I do?" (I was only around 10, and wondered if I was the only person in the world who swallowed their spit, I was quite worried over it actually.)

"Ummm....NO, no I don't." (She was probably preoccupied by something else, or wasn't paying attention to what I was really asking, because HELLO, everyone swallows their spit!)

"Okay........" (OH MY GOSH!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!)

So I learned to keep my concerns to myself. Which is quite sad because when I was 12 I was over at an elderly neighbor's house visiting with them and a show was playing in the background. After awhile I started paying attention to it. It was about breast cancer and how to detect if you have breast cancer. It told my young 12 year old mind that if you have any lumps in your breast, you have cancer. Well, I obviously didn't have ANY sort of breasts at the age of 12, but I did have a "lump". Which would have been my nipple. I was TERRIFIED. No joke guys, not even funny, I seriously thought I had breast cancer. And I didn't tell anyone for YEARS, because I was too scared to talk to my mom or my dad or anyone else. Because that was how I was raised, you just kept things to yourself. SO glad to find out I don't have breast cancer, what a relief!

So when the time came to get a bra or to have a visit from Aunt Flo, I don't know about how you guys dealt with it, but I dealt ALONE. When I finally wanted a bra, all my friends had bras, I still didn't have breasts but I wanted a you think I asked my mom for one? HECK NO! I snuck in my older sister's room and stole one of hers. And that is how you did things in my family.

I'm realizing that this is sounding quite pathetic and maybe making my parents look bad, which wasn't my intention. Look at it this way guys, if the worst thing my parents did was not talk to me about the birds and the bees* and didn't buy me a bra, I had it pretty good. Its funny to think about now, and every things turned out just fine. I'm just going to make sure my kids won't be afraid to ask me about their spit's habits!

I was going to share with you my first period story, but I think this is sad enough, so I'll spare you. But please feel free to share the weird quirks of your parents, so I feel a tad bit better! :)

*No, we didn't have a sit down, this is what its about talk. We of course had talks about being chaste, how they expected us to act with the boys we dated, etc. But no talk specifically about you know what. In fact, on my wedding night before we went to our hotel, my mom told me: AND I QUOTE, "Don't worry honey, you don't have to do anything." Um thanks mom, but YES I DO and that doesn't help.


  1. oh poor Mel! that just breaks my heart thinking about you thinking you had Breast Cancer for years.

    my mom did the opposite she talked about everything embarrassing all the time. I don't know which is better.

  2. That is SOOOO funny! I'm sorry, I am definitely laughing at you.

  3. Yep, this is a funny post! My parents are older than yours (I'm assuming--they are late 70's early 80's) but it sounds like both come from a generation who didn't talk much about stuff. I would say that my parents were slightly more reserved than yours when bringing stuff up (my mom didn't say a word to me about sex except not to say "sex") but they were better about answering questions, even if embarrassing. Of course I didn't ask too many of those . . .

  4. HAHAHAHA sorry Mel, but I do relate a little. My mom tried to talk to me about the "birds and the bees" She totally confused me....she kept calling it "petting" I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, but I did NOT pet an animal for a loooong time. LOL

  5. Oh my gosh that is hysterical. You don't have to do anything------but your hubby would have loved to hear that one. My mom, however never told me anything either --nope, my favorite aunt did most of that and dad was the one to explain the "F" word. Hmmmm Parents------gotta love em.

  6. My parents...I mean, my mom would talk to me about ANYTHING. I remember the first time I acidentally heard my parents, uhm, doing you-know-what. I was so freaked out, and mad at my mom. And she tried to explain it. "Well, hon, sometimes things feel so good, that you make some noise." WHAT!?!?! Needless to say, I stayed mad at my mom for a while.

  7. Are you sure we're not sisters? Because I think we have the same parents! Seriously! Period? Yeah, that was dealt with toilet paper for the first few months until my mom found a pair of my underwear. Sex? My dad checked out some books from the meetinghouse library for me to read. And I was so embarrassed.


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